I feel very out of sync, always have.
I am not AS.
I have emotional dysregulation due to some very traumatic events in my teenage years. I am now in my early forties.
Where I find it difficult is that for the most part, I am NT.
I understand all aspects of NT thinking and operating; all aspects of that brain function very well.
The problem for me lays in the fact that I think the 'general' NT way of life is often shallow, and well, just a lot of BS really. I don't have to "pass" to have interactions on a daily basis; but I dislike them as I don't like all the small talk. To me, people just don't feel like they are being 'real' or their 'true' selves.
Since my early youth I have always been socially popular even though it wasn't something I wanted or enjoyed all that much. I think people found my aloofness and rebellion kind of cool for whatever reason.
It's almost like I have the guts to be myself when others are simply too scared of what others will think of them if they were to do the same.
I have never had a problem with socialising other than the fact that I simply don't like it to last more than 10-15 minutes. For me it's overwhelming simply because I feel it difficult to connect with another person on a deeper level unless we are discussing something I find interesting and not just talking about the weather for example.
Now that I'm older I think NT's have 3 different ways in which they view me:
1. She is a little left of the centre and I can't quite work her out and not sure what her intentions are, therefor I find her a threat
2. She is really interesting and an honest communicator and I like that, let's hang out.
3. She is an attractive woman and has chosen to stay single for 8 years and not have a boyfriend/husband, there must be something wrong with her. Hmmm what is her story, that's very strange behaviour.
I guess what I am trying to say is that some of us are stuck in an NT world and mind and don't feel in sync with it at all.
I am rambling here, my apologies.
This is my first post.
I am unsure how it will be received as I am mostly NT, not AS and I am not sure if I am welcome here or not.
I don't feel I belong in either camp, so I guess I am looking for a place where I can communicate as me.
How do people feel about someone who is not on the spectrum reading and contributing to WP forums and posts? Am I intruding, not welcome, don't belong here? Your honesty would be appreciated. Thanks

I think you've made some fair points and have shown that the struggle of being 'left of centre' as it were, isn't a phenomenon solely experienced by those on the spectrum. Maybe more a symptom of folk fed up with the faux-glamour of this intense, stress-filled world we live in. Welcome to WP!