What kind of school is the best fit for ASD children?

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My son is about to start elementary, and it is apparent that he isn't fit for, or accepted to, normal kindergarten through the school district. He is super smart in pre-academics (reading & math), but he's very aggressive, isn't able to follow directions and has major social deficits. So, as far as I can tell, that leaves three choices. Let's pretend money isn't a factor, even if it is.

1. Public school special education.
2. Standard private school --if he is accepted
3. Special needs school

In the public school system, he would probably have the best access to NT models and might be more apt to be a bigger contributor to the community, but I would guess would be the most open to being bullied. A standard private school, which I would guess might not accept him, would have smaller classrooms and a tighter-knit student body, but the teachers may not be as trained to deal with kids on the spectrum. A special needs school might best benefit him academically and in terms of support, but he might be a little bit sheltered from the NT world he will need to live in after school. Do you guys have any thoughts on any of the three? What might you have chosen for yourself if given the choice?

Thanks!

Scott

I would put him in a "special needs" school for now....with an academic emphasis.

If behavior improves, then I might try a more "mainstream" situation.

Just make sure he is put on an academic track always---and not on a track to merely get a "IEP Diploma."

^^^ This.

I've always been in a special needs special education school primarily for kids with autism. I would not have wanted it any other way. The staff and faculty are specially trained on how to teach us and deal with us. All the students have autism or similar so it's more like being a peer instead of an outcast.

I don't know where you live but my general advice is to stay far far away from public schools, I don't know how much better I would of been somewhere else but I do know the trauma from public schooling in a sh***y district is something I still carry and I don't feel I was even educated at all. I educated myself, no thanks to them. Sending a kid to the public schools I went to is akin to child abuse and that's before even getting to what they offer with special education.

Thanks for the replies folks. I was kind of leaning towards finding a specialty school, although there just aren't many options. Might have to move. I do have a unique public school system here though. I live basically next door to the Microsoft campus, so there is a larger than normal ASD population here, as well as a larger than normal group of quirky people, and the bully ratio is a lot better than it might be in other areas around Seattle. Actually, one of the public high schools around here has an "Embrace Awkward" program, where leaders of the student body befriend ASD students and help them with things like social skills. Just kind of a cool article I found.

You're in a rather unique situation, then.

Why not try the public schools? It's not all doom-and-gloom. Some public schools are actually great.

I recommend putting him in a special education programme. I was until last year. Some people grow out of it, others need it for their entire school career. The people are friendly and helpful. Also, I recommend having a say in what teacher he has. I had a mean teacher for my first year of elementary school.

I was raised as NT and diagnosed in adulthood.

Knowing then what I know now, I would have opted for some form of 'special' school if someone had given me the choice. And I say that as someone that had a high IQ in childhood and was academically exceptional, so I wouldn't need the extra support with academic basics specifically.

But I went to both public and private schools, and in both I was rejected and treated terribly by my peers. I didn't fit in at all. And teachers that praised me as a youngster for my academic high achievement very quickly gave up on me when I seemed not to be making an effort a few years later. And it was simply because I was unsupported socially, bullied badly, and coped by focusing on my special interest at the expense of everything else.

To me, happiness is far more important than academic achievement and fitting the mould. But, of course, any one person's hindsight can't necessarily be the map for someone younger to follow.

Depends on the individual child.

It's an option. That's one of the reasons I'm here, to get thoughts like these. I suppose, as with any of the options, it is going to come down to the individual teachers that he'll have. A bad public school with a great teacher is better than a great specialized school with a poor one. Luck of the draw, I suppose. The sentiment here does seem to be leaning towards a specialized school, so that would weight heavily in my decision. I tried to make a poll, but couldn't figure out how. Maybe I don't have the seniority yet. Thanks again!

In all honesty, I would say the older he gets, the more you should try to mainstream him. Kids can be cruel, and make fun of those in "special ed."

Sometimes, mainstreaming doesn't work, of course.

But this is a good situation you are in. It seems as if the possibilities for mainstreaming are greater than in most school districts. There seems to be more tolerance for "alternative" behaviors.

Most school districts really aren't tolerant of "difference." They weren't too tolerant of my "differences."

I can tell you with certainty this is not true, a bad public school is bad public school period and they're not bad because they're all bad teachers so that really doesn't matter. A place with a lot of violence and drugs will see a lot of violence and drugs in their schools, going to school with future gang member murderers isn't an nurturing educational setting to say the least. A bad public school is a lot like a prison and that's what they're conditioning a lot of those student's for. I don't think anybody is unhappy about not going to public schools but the opposite is not true, I will never forgive my parents for sending me to the hellhole schools they sent me too.

Now maybe Seattle has very nice public schools I don't know, it is one of the richest parts of the country so it wouldn't surprise me but that's not where I came from and that wasn't my experience. Being so rich tho probably gives much more choice when it comes to specialized and private schools.

I went to some decent public schools.

They weren't good for ME....but they were good for most of the kids there.

They weren't good for ME because of my "differences."

King County has good resources. Some aren't immediately visible in general searching. All my stuff has been by way of referral as it is exclusive.

Would you be able to arrange a visit to a couple of schools you're interested in? You could have a tour, meet the teachers and talk to them about your son's individual needs, and how they might manage them, and what kind of extra support he might be able to get.
I work in a school in the UK, and I've seen a few parents doing that sort of thing.

My son went to a Language and Communication Unit which was attached to a mainstream primary school. There were just six autistic kids in that class and it was wonderful, absolutely the right place for him. He stayed there until the end of P4 at which point they decided he could cope with mainstream primary, which was a disastrous and unhappy experience for him.

I went to a mainstream primary school because I wasn't diagnosed until aged 37. School was a horrible experience. I very much wish I'd been in a unit like my son was.

Each child is different of course, but I would go for some kind of special education. It would probably be good for him to be in the company of others who are more like him.