Bullying

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*warning: this will prob. be a long vent

Bullying....and I'm SICK and TIRED of it! Every day in school this happens, and no matter who I tell it continues. Why can't people just treat others the way that they want to be treated? Others lack of maturity never ceases to amaze me. This week total in class, I have been spittballed at, called numerous names that I will not mention here, almost had my hair lit on fire with a lighter, tripped, poked at etc (the list goes on and never seems to end). Why do people always pick on the easiest targets? Another problem in class is when I go into overload, people poke and punch and scream at me (they find it funny).
Signed
-going insane in school and don't want to go any longer (but I don't have that option).

schooling is harsh. every single thing about it. you had exactly the same experiences i did, except my 'overloads' resulting in shouting and storming out. strangely, that got me quite a lot of respect. i think if you show your ground people will like you more, i dunno.
i remember one particular time some guy came up behind me and touched my shoulder, he was about to ask for a pencil but i instinctively shouted "DONT TOUCH ME"...people laughed, people were shocked abit, but it got respect somehow. i dont know much about social rules at all. im still learning as im going now, but just try out social experiments and see what works best.
hope things get better for you dizzy.
cya

People can be horrible . You're right in saying they are immature - years from now, they'll be remorseful over what stupid things they did to you today. I get apologies now, for being pushed down stairwells and having the hair torn out of my head. Didn't really help at the time, except the knowledge that you can see through and beyond their immaturity. These kids are childish and stupid, and don't know how to express their own insecurities, so they take it out on others. Be strong - never forget that you are a better person - you don't need to spit ball to make you someone! These kids also have problems understanding communication - they think by gathering in flocks and gaining group support and performing cruel deeds, they become a person. The reality is, that most of them, if they are taken away from there flock, are quite lost and purposeless. Just keep reminding yourself, that you are your own self, and you are beyond their little power struggles. I really feel for you - I would never want to go through that part of schooling again! I found that being superior, and dissecting the motivations behind the bullys helped me a lot. It made me see how weak and pathetic they were.... Hope this helps. Also - there are some pearls hidden in the swine! You might have to look a little harder for them.

I wish I had some good advice but I pretty much don't. I went through the same thing and the end result that was by the time I was in high school I missed more days than I attended and almost failed despite high grades. Makes me wonder exactly what percentage dropouts are actually incredibly smart but just tired of being personally attacked.

Ahh yes, the classic age old problem of bulling. I don't have any usefull advice to give either. In Junior High, my stragedy to cope was to avoid people at all cost. In class I would sit up in the front by where the teacher was lecturing, and not say a word that way any projectiles aimed my way from the back of the class had to soar over the heads of everyone else. Between classes I moved as fast as possible, I knew the routes taken by all those who harrased me so I didn't go where they went. At lunch I would go outside and eat in the stands at the football stadium next door where no one else went, or could see me becasue of the 10ft high concrete wall surrounding the place to keep people from seeing the local high school teams play for free. I could get into the place since it was city property, and thus had to be open for public access.

Same situation when I was in high school. My locker was on the 2nd floor, and sometimes I would go up to the third floor, and across the length of the building just to get to a class in the basement to avoid people. At lunch I would be in the communications classroom with all the other "nerds", this is where I developed my obsession to go into broadcasting. So I guess you could say at least one good thing came out of the six years of hell I spent in seconday school.

Last edited by LadyBug on 26 Jul 2004, 4:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Last edited by LadyBug on 26 Jul 2004, 4:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Bullying is a DAMN serious problem that is under-addressed. Even after Columbine, I'm surprised they still continue to take it so lightly in many cases. Ridiculous. I feel for you, Dizzy, as I was bullied too -- mostly in elementary school. I countered this by wowing bullies with my knowledge of pop culture and my ability to make techno music, but this didn't really come about until by the time I was in mid-high school, and by then I felt a lot better about myself. There were dumbass kids (who later grew into dumbass adults doing destructive things with their lives -- yet, how sad) who did things like give me wet willies or spray me with super soakers *after* knowing I had a problem with my ears (I had glue ears as a child).

People pick on the easiest targets because those are just that -- the easiest targets. It's like a very predatory and cruel thing to do. Maturity is one thing, but being nice is another. It never ceases to negatively amaze me how little long-term vision bullies have; they're just putting their futures in jeopardy.

If your parents know how serious the problem is, I hope they will take this to the administrator's desk and that something will be done about it. In the meantime with the other kids, do you have any abilities that could appeal to them and possibly soften them up around you?

Please pardon my noseyness, but I was wondering if you could expound upon the "glue ears" part? ^_^

I had it too when I was little, when you get an ear infection, your middle ear fills up with fluid in response to the infection, however when the infection stops, the fluid remains becasue the ears in kids have an ineffective drainage system, and it becomes thick and sticky like elemers glue. Each time I got an ear infection (always in the left), I had to go see the ear doctor who had to use some wierd tool that scared the heck out me to pop my ear drum to drain out the "glue".

In April 1984, I had tubes put into my ears and the infections and glue in my ear stopped. In November 1992, I had the tubes removed.

They wanted to put tubes in my ears but the idea terrified me so my mother said no. I had fluid on my ears over and over again and infections like clockwork. I'm still weird about my ears, I don't like them touched and I freak out if water gets in them.

Umm...I've been bullied quite a few times in school...I don't really know how to handle it, so I try to ignore it...but sometimes, some of the things that the other kids say really hurt. I'm just entering the 9th grade in August. I'm pretty upset about going to high school because there are more kids, and I'm in the smallest grade. Do you have any other tips that I could do while being bullied?[/quote]

I sympothise with you, your not alone, whether it's pushing, punching, tripping, its not right. Sometimes it helps to tell a freind or family member whats happening, because I know how it feels to be bullied really badly.

My personal experiences have include:

1. Sexual remarks made about people in my family, and me personally(a)You just have to ride these things out or b)tell someone when you next see a teacher or parent you know that you are being bullied, do it right now and you won't be sorry)
2. Comments of a sexual nature about my personal sexual nature(I do like girls by the way, and I wish I had a gf)
3.Tripping me up as I got from sitting position.
4. Randomaly punching me as I went from one class to another.
5. Putting gum in my hair.
6. Kids threatening to burn me with a ciggerret lighter.

And the list goes on.
Don't look at it like being a dobber you have the right to be at school too and part of that right, is the right to safety. Councillors and Teachers are all people you can contact in your New High school if your being bullied but I know teachers are stickter in High School than they are in Primary School(I know they are in Australia for sure) and won't take not thick lip from anyone, your bullies may find going into year 9 getting away from things is alot harder and different than getting away from things in Primary to year 8 used to be.
Any way enough rambling from me, hope this helps!.

P.S I am not a Councillor(Just thought you might like to know), I'm just some kid who's been in a similar situation as you and knows how much bullying kills your stammina and Durability. Hang in in and say "No" to bullying and the world will be a better place. No one deserves that kind of crap from anyone not even you dude so stick up for what you know thats not right and tell some one about your problems:) [/list]

My best advice is not to get involved any self-destructive behavior. I did and wasted alot of time.

The thing that helped me the most was when my sister got me an after school job. I turned sixteen just before the 10th grade so my job was beneficial for three years. I worked at a local Italian restaurant that was in the middle of several school districts. I befriended people that were seniors at my own school and also made friends with students at other schools. Many bullies were surprised to see me with upper classman and (at least when I was near a senior) they tended to bother me less. Meeting people from other schools was also great. They had no idea of how I was treated at school. They couldn't judge me based on appearance as we all wore the same outfit. I started busing tables and had to keep an eye out for empty tables so the eye-contact thing was never an issue. When business was slow I had lots of oppurtunities to get closer with my co-workers. I got invited to social functions that excluded the people that picked on me. It was liberating. I gained confidence. On occasions when I still got bullied, I could just think about how things were so much better outside of school. When I finally became a senior I made sure that all of the new younger employees were well taken care of and made to feel welcome at the workplace. I visited this restaurant recently and left with the impression that this tradition still continues.

Thanks for answering that, Scoots. Yes, this is what I had... and I had no hard earwax at the time, just liquid. Gross huh?

As for being bullied -- I don't advocate violence so I wouldn't say "fight back", but if you have a chance to bulk up and work out physically or look tougher, even at your young age, then that might help. Or if you continue to make more friends in school, then you'll be part of a wider web and hopefully some of your pals will help stick up for you and you won't get picked on alone.

Let us know how it goes. There is no excuse for repeated bullying, and it needs to be dealt with seriously.

Sadly bullying isnt just an issue in schools, it happens in the workplace for adults and within families. People on the spectrum are more vulnerable to bullying even as adults, I can testify to this.