Distance between yourself and others

Post Reply New Topic

I always feel that there is an insurmountable distance between me and other people. I assume that this has to do with autism, but I could be wrong. Is it true that NTs don't have this feeling? If it is, then, wow, that's just mind-blowing. I mean, I can't imagine what it would be like not to have that kind of gap, or wall, or whatever you choose to call it, in interaction with other people.

It's not a sense of distance for me but more like a pane of glass separating me. I don't know see why everyone doesn't feel this way.Because it's true, after all.

Yes I feel that gap.....I usually call it the glass wall. Main time I remember it not being there was when I had loads of physical contact with people, and that's not sustainable - even if I've got their permission, there's a limit to how much touch I can cope with.

There's a book at home somewhere, on the first page it describes a guy trying to explain something he feels is very important to another guy who just doesn't get what he's on about, and the first guy gives up and nobody is happy with the outcome. I can relate well to that sense of hopelessness, that nobody understands what's in my mind. Sometimes the gap is closed for a little while, like when somebody says something and I know exactly what they mean, and I manage to tell them that, and they believe me.

That's a good analogy. It's like there are two of me, one on one side of the glass interacting with people, and one on the other side observing everything and maintaining a running critique, usually derogatory:

"What did you say that for, you dumbass? You're an imbecile. You think you can fit in, but everybody thinks you're a freak. They're nice to you only so that they can use you. Why don't you do yourself and everyone else a favor and go put a bullet through your brain?"

I used to think everyone was like this!

It goes away when I'm alone, unless I get stressed out, then I get into arguments with myself. Those are not fun times--things can get broken, and I can get hurt.

i do feel distance. at times

Of course it is. This is why I can't help but feel that its actually the neurotypical perspective that is the aberration. People are not connected, there is no psychic bond between humanity as a species and anyone who thinks there is is lost in self delusion. We are individual units and cannot be anything else. Each one of us is permanently incarcerated inside our own skull and nothing can change that.

In some cases, there's a bond. Look at what happened in Jonestown. All those idealistic followers of the People's Temple felt they had a great bond, that's why they went to Guyana, to start a new life together, a better life than they left. In cases of cult brainwashing, there seems to be a significant bond between members of the cult. It happens, to a lesser extent, between members of groups. They get into this group mentality where this psychic bond exists between them (not all of them, some members are not bonded and this is where the problems and friction occur). It happens between marriage parterners. It doesn't happen between all marriage partners, which is why you have divorce. Leavers are the ones who aren't feeling the connection.

Still, the idea that neurotypicals seem to feel and maybe even experience such a connection is something that is beyond me.
However, I do sometimes feel an intense connection with animate and inanimate nature - it can be a rock just as easily as a bird. I don't know if that's a delusion, but the feeling is definitely real. Now that I think about it, perhaps NTs feel something similar towards people.

Actually there's more evidence that Jonestown was a CIA mind control experiment and those people were there because they were manipulated with psychotropic drugs and led there. They may have been looking for some connection, but they didn't find it. And despite the popular adoption of the 'drink the Kool-Aid' phrase, official statements to the press at the time on the autopsy evidence stated that less than a third of the casualties died from Kool-Aid administered poison. The rest were shot, strangled or injected. The only bond those people had was the stupidity that allowed them to be so easily led by a talented sociopathic b*llsh*tter.

The dissenters were all murdered, then you had the willing suiciders who felt the bond. Of course they didn't plan on dying. They went down there with that idealistic bond, their society would be one of love, care for the elderly and children, non prejudice, but it was crushed under the oppressive heat of the jungle. They hated the primitive conditions and the humidity and yuckiness of jungle life. Their huts were a step d.own from where they came from. Most of them wanted to tough it out, but a handful left, Jones panicked and thought it would be the end of JT, so he sent his minions after the politicians and abandoners. When the majority saw that Jones was freaking out and really wanted to do a mass suicide, they wanted to leave, but Jones commanded his croonies to kill them (his croonies were the most devoted of all, naturally, and felt an unbreakable bond, no doubt)
The dissenters didn't feel the connection, but you had those diehard, hardcore members who were going to stay no matter what, even with the Guyana Defense Forces Jones constantly utilized as a menacing, threatening scare tactic.
I don't believe it was a mind control experiment administered by the CIA.