Aspergers and being attentive and caring

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Hello

I wanted to know if it's possible for someone to have aspergers and be caring and attentive at the same time (like buying someone a gift because you are visiting them etc).

Thanks a lot in advance..

Of course. If you know the rule (take a gift when you visit someone) then it's easy to follow it. Likewise, if someone is sick, give him medicine, let him rest, etc. All very straightforward.

The hard part is being caring / emotionally responsive when there aren't clear rules. For example, there have been several times when my wife was upset and said, "Can't you see I need a hug?" No, of course I can't--you need to tell me!

I don't know anyone with Asperger's who is NOT caring. We all get accused of not being caring, though, because other people interpret us wrong. I am caring and attentive with a straight face and a monotone voice, and that confuses people, but trying to employ inflection and animation is exhausting and awkward. Being caring is built-in, however being attentive requires effort. I am actively looking for clues, because I can't help people if I don't know they need help. I spend a lot of time helping homeless people and at-risk teens, so I get some practice, but I still explicitly ask them what they need.

Yeah, they may just express it differently. I'm very caring but not very emotive. This can affect how people see us.