Until recently I didn't know I had autism. Now when I look back on certain things I don't know if I made up a lie and called it a preference just to make sense of a situation (to myself and others). Or if it really is a preference and not a symptom.
For example, I never cared that much for music like others do. When I was a teen this was really important to my peers. I refused to answer the question of what bands did I like. Well, a lot of the time I didn't know their names or the names of their songs. I'm still this way. But I would say it was a stupid question or something like that to deflect. (I think I don't remember because it's really boring to me...but I'm not sure really, anyone else?)
As an adult I thought I just didn't like people and I would go with that because it explained why I was such a loner.
Well, do I really just dislike people or music? Am I shy or just incapable of getting the words out? It can become confusing and honestly a little scary to look at your whole life again and wonder at the truth of it.
05 Apr 2017, 1:59 pm
