Is it a lie there someone out there for everybody?

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I feel it is. I've been single for 11 years.

Not everyone is going to find someone… If so and there is someone destined to be with me. Then sorry, because I don’t want to be with them.

I do not doubt there is someone somewhere, but that does not guarantee the someone will always be found.

the availability of a "perfect" match for someone might not always line up with that person's desire for a partner. there could be someone who is excellent partner material for you, batter than anyone but they might not want to be with you...as soulcrushing as it may sound.

or i am misinterpreting the entire phrase, which is possible.

i believe there is someone "perfect" out there for anyone somewhere, but they can go an entire life without crossing paths. there must be a lot of unhappy couples out there in the world, because one of them believes that the one they are with is not their ideal match and there's this other nonspecific person out there that can make them happier. a nagging gut intuition that the one is yet to be found....

but if they will never get the opportunity to meet this person, then does it really matter if they exist or not?

I believe there does exist someone for everyone, but unfortunately, they don't often cross paths. Quite a few people have went to their graves without having been in a serious relationship, gotten married, or having children. Some of the famous ones who fit this description are Nikola Tesla, Isaac Newton, Beethoven, Emily Dickinson, Tchaikovsky and DaVinci.

Autists are known to go to their graves without being in a relationship. It sucks, but that's how it goes.

Well having really read the entire thread below literally before I saw your question I still don't know.

There isn't someone for everyone

The thread discussion was informative (over a 100 posts), hilarious, and sobering. Nevertheless, there seemed to be one consensus that waiting to meet someone is maybe a little like trying nothing and saying your "all out of ideas." (Simpsons)

After watching Spike Jonze's HER, I thought that an AI might serve to alleviate social isolation. It certainly seemed plausible that it would be very good at simulating a possible partner and, perhaps, even allow the AI to find someone compatible, maybe even perfect, for you who also uses the same program.

I doubt that it's a lie.
I doubt that I'm likely to find anybody hiding in my apartment.

I believe there is someone for everyone out there. There are 7 billion people in the world, someone's bound to be the right person for you. But it's more about the chances of you coming across that person.

I don't think there is this magical someone out there, just that one special person, there may be more people more or less compatible and more or less interested in a long term relationship with a person like me. Some of my relationships felt at the very beginning like "oh, we understand each other well and it seems like destiny" but in the end they never lasted and the ones that did were stressful for both sides, to the point that I was starting to think how best to get out of them and my partners - how best to coerce her to change and fulfil my expectations.

There are happy relationships with autistic people in them, marriages that last, with kids and nice little stability, but it's hard work and it's sometimes really, really easier to be alone or have little flings only. I recently read a book called "Asperger Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) and long-term relationships" written from a perspective of NT wife married to ASD guy... It was pretty grim. It teaches all sort of techniques to try and communicate better, accommodate each other's needs better but in the end what the poor woman went through (her husband as well I think, although he didn't show much on the outside) was... well, I wouldn't have bothered and just chose being single.

It sucks and I'm trying to be reasonable about it, but there is still that little all-feeling piece of my mind saying "but maybe there IS somebody out there for me..." so I'll probably keep looking.

It's a great thought to comfort myself with, but in all honesty, I'm having a hard time believing in that notion lately.

I was going to write pretty much the same thing.

I've given this a little thought and decided that generally speaking the pool of which to find a partner shrinks as you age. You start with a largish pool of people at your school which would normally be around 50% male/female split to chose from. The average UK school has a population of around 1000, dividing this by 5 (years) gives you 200, halving that (sex) gives you 100 people that you're in close contact with for 5 years of your life. Obviously this doesn't account for gender and partners older or younger than yourself which may either increase or decrease the pool size. This would continue through college/university and then start to shrink if/once you get a job and limit the number of people with which you frequently come in to contact. The pool shrinks further still as the years pass as most people seem to be less social as they age.

All of the above doesn't even take into account ASC/ASD which limits the number further due to social interaction issues.

Have spent 10 years alone this November.

I haven't bothered dating since 2012. Only thing women on dating sites want is a wallet to feed their 10 million screaming offspring and to help pay of their debts. No one is looking for love. When i find someone, she lives in Finland or maby further away. For now I'm happier not being on dating sites and just living and doing my thing alone.

What i am saying is that sometimes it is better to be single and accept it, take time focusing on yourself. Travel if you can. Go out into the woods or whatever. Read books and learn stuff. Occupying your mind with fun things is better than thinking of how lonely you are (well, if you do that) it only drags you down.

Much depends upon how much we feel like being flexible around the other person. Nobody will ever do just what you hope 24 - 7. Relationships are usually described as growing, learning experiences as each learns more about both self and other. I have had several relationships, but I'd say that they were all about the other projecting their hopes onto me, and me being polite enough to not contradict them if I could help it. One time I wound up visiting another city to continue a relationship even though I felt like an actor in it.

it is all about crossing paths, methinks...whenever someone brings p the "7 billion people" thing, i immediately jump to all those who are far too old for me, far too young, live far enough away that i can reasonably rule out ever meeting them, etc, etc, gradually slicing at it with a "razor" of sorts, even putting effort into not being overly picky....

and suddenly that pool ends up so much smaller.



this has worked for me...many people don't seem to gain much from distracting themselves, but IME it is far better then sitting there wallowing, and allowing your negativity to devour you.

what is important, is that whatever you do has to be something you legitimately enjoy doing...something that you would do even if you weren't preoccupied with your predicament (and you have done it). otherwise, it's overly transparent, i feel, you come to associate that thing with your state, it loses the purpose. it is for distraction's sake only, that doesn't work for me.

sometimes one's mind can be their greatest enemy...

Be it soul mates that cross our paths,to teach us a lesson,and the ever elusive needle in the haystack twin flame,i believe someone is out there for everybody.

Just don't settle for anyone.