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MagicMeerkat
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12 Jul 2017, 11:53 am

I was talking to a friend of mine about group homes and he said from what they know about me, it probably would not go over very well because I wouldn't be able to integrate and fit in with the other people. This person is from a European country and spent some time in a group home like place as a child. They say they really like it and wish they could go back if they could. But then they are from a European country that seems to have their act together and know what they are doing. I could never say the US knows what they are doing. Anyhow, do people who run group homes expect people to fit in? I was kind of thinking they didn't, but then I'm just thinking of US ones.


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idonthaveanickname
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12 Jul 2017, 3:51 pm

I'm living in a nursing home right now. Have been for a year and a half and it SUCKS. Everybody in there has some kind of mental illness and they drive me crazy! Oh well, I'll be out of there on the 31st of this month to move into my own apartment. As far as this place expecting you to fit in? I doubt it. A lot of people there keep to themselves and don't really talk to anyone. That's how I used to be when I first got there, but now I'm making more friends. I've been to so many different group homes and rehab centers over the last 3 years. Each of them have all these different personalities to deal with, which I found difficult. I was one of those who kept to myself. Oh yeah, and I've been to 5 different hospitals in the psych unit. So I've dealt with a lot of different people. But now I'm about to live independently for the first time ever! This is huge for me! Ok, hope this helped.



kraftiekortie
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12 Jul 2017, 6:08 pm

The group home environment, usually, is one of enforced conformity. There are "house rules," and you have to do chores around the house.

In most instances, it's probably better if you didn't live in one. However, if you do need the services they provide, then you should live in the group home. If you do require this, I would try my hardest to get into a decent one. Do research on group homes.

Who recommends you live in a group home?



sun.flower
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12 Jul 2017, 6:10 pm

MagicMeerkat wrote:
I was talking to a friend of mine about group homes and he said from what they know about me, it probably would not go over very well because I wouldn't be able to integrate and fit in with the other people.

Is that really a concern? I don't think the purpose of group homes is to take perfect people who get along perfectly and have everything perfect, they are for people who need help and have difficulties. Hopefully the resident assistants know how to smooth everyone's edges so that even if there are meltdowns or disagreements, in general, mostly all the residents are happy and content. If not, maybe that is their own stuff, like they don't like a group home setting? and not necessarily how it is run or the setting's fault, if that makes sense. I think in any scenario if you are unhappy, you can still choose to see good aspects of the situation and try to stay positive and strive to get along with others, knowing that we all have hard days and life isn't easy.

I guess my point is that some people need help, they/we have a lot on their plate. There are plenty of people in the world, from what I've seen, who are good at helping.



Chichikov
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12 Jul 2017, 6:27 pm

I spend a lot of time in shared housing and can pretty much confirm this. Unless it's specifically a house for autistic people, chances are the other people in the house will be NT and they will expect certain things of you. Mainly that you get involved in chit-chat when in communal areas, take in interest in the other people, try and become friends with them, not spend all of your time shut away in your room. You know...be "normal". Not leave any communal area the second someone else comes in, give one word answers when people ask how your day has been, the kind of thing we're prone to do. How they will react to you various to be honest on many factors. If the other people have been in the house a long time and have strong friendship bonds then your lack of attempt to integrate won't go down well. If the house is generally made up of individuals anyway with no particularly strong bonds then your behaviour will probably go largely unnoticed.



kraftiekortie
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12 Jul 2017, 6:27 pm

The thing about group homes is that you lose some freedom.

Though they do provide needed structure.



MagicMeerkat
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13 Jul 2017, 10:05 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Who recommends you live in a group home?


No one actually.


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CharityGoodyGrace
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14 Jul 2017, 7:49 am

My friend was picked on by the other people in his group home... another friend of mine had to go outside for food because the group home had everyone on a diet basically and she was always hungry... a third friend of mine had to be home by 7 or 8 or 9 every night, few exceptions, and had to be there for dinner every night (probably because they didn't want the food to go to waste). At that same group home as the last friend, a girl who didn't get up early like they had to do was sent back to the hospital to await another group home.