Poor exectutive functioing but i feel like im just lazy.

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Hey everyone, so my depression is doing better than it was a few months ago, my suicidal thoughts are gone and i havent self harmed, i still feel down everynow and then but it passes, which is good.

One thing that has been a problem and always has is my self care. This has been a long running problem. I cant keep my house clean, i cant feed myself regularly, and i can only barely care for my 4 pets. Actually they eat daily and i dont!

All im able to do is go to sleep, and use the bathroom when i need to and shower at least 3 times a week. I can also feed myself but really all i can eat is dry cereal or bread. Sometimes like 1 a week i will cook for myself. I can also clean the cat litter and hedgehog cage once every 2 weeks, feed the dogs daily (although i forget every now ans then, my dad reminds me ) and feed the cat and hedgehog nightly. The cat begs for food so this helps me remember

Its not that i dont want to do things like clean and cook, i just get stuck, i get up,look around and get stuck. My psych and since im autistic and ive been told that i have executive dysfunction. But i feel like maybe im just lazy and need to suck it up... but at the same time, when i do "suck it up" i get overloaded and shut down, meltdown, or do the task im trying to do wrong and mess up. I have tried to set scheduals in the past but i messed up, i just get so distracted by my ipad, my xbox, drawings, ect.

I want to ask for help but im afraid to be turned away, like, i want to ask the goverment for a benefit or somethinf but i dont think im THAT bad....

I dont know.