Hi everyone. I recently became aware of the symptoms of aspergers and was shocked to see so many similarities in myself, but some are not adding up.
Let me start off by saying as a child I used to have serious issues with tight clothes and socks that rubbed me wrong. I rocked a lot (and do at home still), but so much to the point that I had to sit on a huge bouncy ball in class for a year. I toe walked a lot, typically when I was pretending to be a lot of different types of animals. I toe walk every now and again, but the past couple of years I don't do it as much. I never had issues playing with kids, but I remember I would take things literally. One time my mom told me that she had "eyes in the back of her head" so I took a stool and was looking through her hair to try and find them. She thought it was cute and funny. I never had developmental impairments. I would do puzzles for hours and hours, along with other interests. As I became a teenager, I became very depressed because I hated that my body was changing with puberty. I had bad OCD that's really gone away mostly. I always had a group of friends from childhood that persisted throughout school. But by the second year of high school I decided to home school myself because I hated it. I got along with everyone, but I just hated the ineffectiveness of stupid distractions and thought I could do it better myself. I became very socially isolated by choice and spent a large majority of my time making art. I have always been an artist. I moved to Manhattan at 18 to study art. I had bad social anxiety until I was forced to come out of my shell. But I developed unique interests and really get along better with people older than myself. I only date older men.
I was sexually assaulted by my friend when I was 8 and felt like I put myself in dangerous situations in Manhattan because of social naivety. I impersonate Marilyn Monroe professionally, but dress like her always. Though I don't believe I'm her. I have many interests and passions. My art is often pattern based because I'm fascinated with order, but I'm not that great with math. I am good at everything else I pursue, but was scared of driving for the longest time. Sometimes I have phobias that come and go.
The older I get, the more I love social interaction, and have no issues with talking and exchanging emotions with people. My house was very stressful--constant yelling and my sister beating me my whole life up until 18.
I honestly never thought anything different about myself other than I knew what I wanted and pursued it. Now I feel like I'm having an identity crisis thinking I might have aspergers. I am typically very, very confident and ambitious, always thinking about my future. What do you think?
02 May 2017, 2:47 pm
