False accusations and being an aspie

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I was wondering if anyone has been the “victim” of regular false accusations. I’m not talking about the occasional “blame shift” as a kid, but an ongoing pattern from childhood through adulthood.

As a child, I was always being blamed for things I did not do. There were instances that I was questioned by the principal for things that happened after school even though I was at home on the other side of town. There was another time when a “friend” (yeah, right) told his mother I shot him. The idiot had put a bullet in a vice hoping to extract the gunpowder. Another time I was accused of giving out drugs when I was in fifth grade. That was the early 70’s; I didn’t even know what drugs were.

This sort of thing was a regular pattern until I became an adult. A couple years ago, I was accused of being somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be for four hours. The only problem with that is it happened on my day off. I was nowhere near work!! ! A month ago, I was accused of hollering and yelling during a staff meeting. Fortunately, there was a room full of witnesses that corroborated that I had not yelled or hollered.

So, as an aspie, have you been the victim or target of ongoing false accusations throughout your life?

that was one reason I became a hermit.

one of my sisters misquotes me or imputes bad motives to me. luckily she's too busy to bother with me much.

I don't know if Aspies get it more or less, but are certainly disadvantaged in defending themselves. When I was younger, if I was falsely accused of anything, I would go into panic mode, and rapid fire list off all the reasons I couldn't have done it, which in retrospect, probably made me appear guilty. Often times I had to fight back a meltdown, but have since gotten better with telling myself that my innocent will usually manifest if I am truly innocent.

In junior high school, there was another guy with my actual name, with the only difference being our middle initials. We both got called to the principal's office frequently. Fortunately, the principal at the time was my 6th grade teacher the year before I entered junior high. He knew me well enough to know I wouldn't start anything devious, else he'd be calling my parents about my behavior, with the end result of getting a brass belt buckle attached to my dad's leather work belt across my arse, which was always in the back of my mind when temptation would rear its head.

It was a favorite pastime of my mother's ex and my half-sister to blame me for things I didn't do and punish me for it. My sister still tries to use me as a scapegoat or an excuse for her crap and she's 40 years old now.

That sounds very similar to me as a kid. The bullies were master BS artists and I would fly off the handle when they would falsely accuse me. How dare you accuse the victim I would think as I would lose my cool while they would maintain their sociopathic demeanor. Didn't help I was 6'4" in Junior High and the bullies were short and innocent looking. The school officials were dumb as bricks and since three kids said the same thing it must be true I've also had false accusations leveled against me at one of my jobs but I was not the only person this happened to and I wouldn't call it ongoing just an excuse to force me to quit.

I get accused of getting up every morning in a bad mood. Yes I don't like getting up, but once I'm up and dressed I'm all right.

I work 3 days a week and I know that each work morning I always have a civilized conversation with my mum for at least half an hour, never shouting or arguing, just a normal, calm conversation about just normal things. And on other mornings she's either gone to work herself or I just get up happy, sometimes even more happy than usual, like acting rather hyper and cheerful.

But if there's just one morning where I have got up in a mood, my mum says, ''you're ALWAYS in a mood as soon as you get up!'' I'm entitled to be in a bad mood sometimes, just like I've been lectured over and over again (by NTs AND Aspies, as though I don't get the picture) that NTs are entitled to have a bad mood day sometimes.

Seems an Aspie has got to be perfect, and one mistake or ''off day'' we have then gets twisted into a ''you're like it every single second of your life!'' lecture. I suppose people think they can get away with accusing us of these things because they stereotype us with being unaware of our own body language. I may be Aspie but I always know when I'm in a bad mood or not, and I know how to have a civilized conversation when I'm in a happy or neutral mood.

I have been blamed for things that I know nothing about, many times, both as a kid and as an adult.

It is so infuriating & confusing.

I always feel like I'm lying when I'm explaining my innocence.

I'm 43, I know there will be more instances like this in the future.

A policewoman grabbed & held me in a city-centre supermarket - telling me that she knew my pattern, & that she'd been following me for weeks!

She thought that I was a purse snatcher!

I was accused of crashing my car into the car of a woman who worked in the same building as me!

I know nothing about these things & there are countless other examples that I could list.

It's so tiresome.

^ How horrible! That policewoman must be really stupid and incompetent to make such a serious mistake. Did she (they) admit that she (they) made a mistake and apologize?

I'm always getting blamed / accused for things I had nothing to do with. I think this happens a lot because we are "different" than most.

Luckily this doesn't happen to me too often. As a kid I was a silent loner type, so when kids tried to blame anything on me the teachers could tell it was a lie.

At home though, I was blamed for a lot of things by my younger brother and sister. Even when my parents believed me, they would say, "Even if you didn't didn't do it, you should have stopped them from doing it. You're the eldest, you should lead by example." Thus, I would still be attributed part of the blame for my sibling's misdeeds.

It's always worrying when I am accused of something I didn't do, because I have a moment of thinking that maybe I did do it, but don't remember - I have a notoriously bad memory. However, if it's something I know is not like me or not in my nature, I will still protest the accusation. Most of the time it's more trouble than it's worth though; I get irritated about others lying and frustrated that people who tell the truth are not believed. Sometimes I get so worked up I just have to leave the situation.

It was always assumed I was getting into more trouble than I was. I hate the feeling of being able to eloquently defend myself...when it's way too late to be of any use.

Yes, when I was in school I got falsely accused of stuff all the time. The typical BS of getting attacked by bullies. Then getting in trouble for fighting. Which I wasn't fighting. I was getting bullied. LOL.

In Junior High School I was getting punished non stop for stuff I didn't do. I just got used to it and expected it to happen. Mostly stuff like getting caught up in groups of kids who were causing trouble, that I was not involved in. But I was blamed for it anyway.

The stupidest one I remember was when I was in the eighth grade. My home room was in a music room with a double set of doors. The outside door locked automatically when closed. It was supposed to stay open, but some a-holes liked to pull it closed. Anyways I got to school about five minutes before class, and I found the door locked. So I waited with four other students in the hall, to get let in. The bell rang and we waited and waited. Finally after about 15 minutes, the teacher opened the door.

To make a long story short. The stupid teacher sent us to the office for being late and in the hall without an excuse. She claimed that she checked the door at the beginning of class and we weren't there, so we were late. Yeah right. So the five of us got a weeks worth of detention for nothing.

when i was in the army, my educational counselor told me that teachers in America, by and large, are in the bottom 1/5 academic ranking in terms of overall smarts. so I guess i'm saying [cold comfort] your "stupid teacher" probably didn't know any better.

No, I've never had that problem to any troubling degree. I can only remember to incidents where I was accused of doing something I hadn't done.
When I was 11 I played a ball game somewhat similar to baseball with a younger girl. I was never in great shape and I got sweaty. When I came to my grandparents' pace, I took off my jacket and was asked by my grandmother where I had been. I told her I had played dødball with M. My grandmother took my jacket and felt it, and said that it was far too wet for me to have played a ball game, I had to have been in water. Where had we been? I kept telling her the truth, that we had just played with ball and bat in the school yard, but she didn't believe me. Just because she never broke a sweat doesn't mean others don't. I still don't get why she thought I would have lied about it. If I had been in water, I would have no reason not to tell her.

In 5th or 6th grade a girl in my class came to school with a threatening letter she said had been in her mailbox. Someone claimed the handwriting looked like mine. That wasn't true, it looked like the way I had been writing when I learned to write contiguous writing, because I had huge difficulties getting the hang of it, and it took me 2-3 years to use it properly. (No, I don't think I was set up, I think whoever wrote it just tried to hide their own way of writing.) The girl accused just about everyone in turn about it and I was just one of many she looked to.

So I can't say that being accused has been a theme in my life.