I wish my autism was fake

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I know there are many people, like even on YouTube comments who will complain that autism is a fake condition and that people just use it as an excuse. Oh, how I wish that were true sometimes.

For me, it's not that I can't accept the fact that I have weak points and limitations in life. It's just that I don't like being conscious that there's a label attatched to these challenges. I sometimes get tired of speaking of my challenges in terms of a diagnostic label, but by now the whole concept has been engrained in me and can't shake it.

Do you think there is a way I can be convinced that my autism/aspergers label is fake?

Even if you really wish something, convincing yourself that it is so when it is not is rarely helpful. Please be careful; deliberately denying truths or misleading yourself is not healthy.

I'm not autistic myself but can relate to struggling with being "labeled" and having a diagnosis. Labels are only really helpful when they facilitate understanding between people. People will say "Well 50 years ago no one had autism" Of course they did, they were just given different labels--often ones that were not so kind. Now we have a richer, more precise vocabulary to describe these things. I have a genetic disease called Mitochondrial Neurogastrointestinal Encephalopathy. The diagnosis wasn't even around when I was born. Does that mean no one had it 50 years ago, or 500 years ago? I bet there were many people who had this disease, and people just said "He got sick, and then he died."

When my son was 2, I had some concerns about his lack of coordination and he was behind on some gross motor milestones also he had trouble at daycare...so we had him evaluated and he was diagnosed with SPD/hypotonia, received PT/OT for several years. So when he received the diagnosis and I told my mother about it, she said, "Oh, that was you when you were little!" Yes, it does, I have SPD and hypotonia too but when I was a kid, I was just labeled as "klutzy," "oblivious," "uncoordinated," a "picky eater," "too sensitive" and I was even misdiagnosed with ADHD. And as I got older, I found ways to manage my SPD. I wore pajamas under my business casual clothes. I found socks that don't have seams. I bought noise canceling headphones to wear on my commute. I avoided crowds and environments that were going to overwhelm me. But I think my son will have an easier time because the label allows the adults in his life to understand his needs a little better and make accommodations and provide therapy I never would have had access to as a kid.

It's a mystery to me why some people can't wrap their minds around why some people are not neurotypical

How about instead of it being fake, it being irrelevant? A lot of people do that and reset limitations. I mean I did that to a degree. When I was little there's stuff they said I wouldn't ever be able to do and I basically said screw that, I'm doing it anyways. It made certain aspects of my autism irrelevant. Me communicating on this level and being a pest on forums, I wasn't supposed to be able to do that.

Just shake it off. Shake it off.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM

I wish I didn't have these difficulties too, but trying to convince myself I'm faking or misdiagnosed just hurts more. Maybe I'm lucky that I'm in a career in the arts where odd people are somewhat accepted and sometimes it's an advantage.

I do go back and forth questioning my diagnosis, but if I compare the times in my life I was accepting of it and the times in my life I was questioning it, I was much healthier when I accepted it.

The advantage of getting diagnosed and then living years with that diagnosis has led me to learn how to structure my life in a way that works for me. This means I don't socialize much and work alone a lot, but I am happier and healthier for it. The times in my life I was questioning it, I would force myself to behave more "normally", force myself to socialize and engage in ways that were uncomfortable. This hurt me a lot, but since I didn't believe my diagnosis at the time, I forced myself to continue. Every time I have done this it has led to burn out, it has exacerbated my other conditions, it has led to many lost jobs and lost schooling.

It's still hard to accept that my life might be meant to be different when I see so many people doing it the conventional way, but when I'm honest with myself, I'm happier with a more isolated life where I accept the way I function and less happy when I'm forcing myself to blend in and don't accept what works for me.

I don't like labels either and don't want to be labeled.
I have been given a genetic susceptibility to autism locus (omim #610908)
It involves many loss of function mutations on genes that code for proteins.

It's not a label, it's an explanation and I like having an explanation.