Called aspie twice since yesterday...

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My ongoing aspie complex for 10 years now continues!

Yesterday being evaluated for what''s getting to be severe depression... The word Aspergers came out of the doc's mouth but sigh... No interest in confirming it!! !

Earlier today I was having a conversation with a cousin that has a young daughter with autism...

Cousin: "My daughter is in the middle of the autism spectrum but I've seen plenty people on the high end of the spectrum like you"

(I think I mentioned this with cousin but...)

Me: "I'm not diagnosed"

Cousin "That shouldn't be hard"

I'm the type of person that will not let this go easily!! !

Nobody has ever said "autism" or "Asperger syndrome" to me, but I strongly suspect it. A lot of things people say, combined with attributes I possess, lead me to strongly suspect it.

Autism: A broad spectrum of developmental disorders mostly characterized by social deficits. People with autism can be dependent on others their entire lives and completely non-verbal, or almost indistinguishable from a person without autism.
Asperger’s: A specific subset of autism, the person affected will have either average or above average intelligence during testing.
ADHD: A disability characterized by hyper behavior and an inability to focus on anything that is not interesting to the affected person.

Asperger’s and autism are the same diagnosis as of the DSM V, but differentiating them can help specialize treatment. A person with Asperger’s and a person with severe autism would not benefit from the same kind of programs.

In the late 90's I had a boss tell me I was a little bit autistic. Aspie was coined around then but it was still a few years away from bieng known even in the Autistic community. I thought he was bullying me and was confused because it seemed a really bizarre way to bully someone (remember this way before Autistic became a popular insult).

I had never heard of Asperger's until 1997, when I read about it in a book at the library. A lot of it fit me. By that time, I already had two university degrees and taught English for a year at the junior college level. If "autism" or "Asperger syndrome" had been diagnosed in me when I was young, I probably wouldn't have even accomplished as much as I did. I don't know how I even did as much as I did with my limited social skills and life experience. Everything made sense: highly developed special interests; social awkwardness and lack of life experience. I shouldn't even have done as well as I did. People said, "But oh, ****, you were smart. That's why you did it." I didn't feel smart.

I feel like that too... But I haven't accomplished much because of mood problems and people either think I can do anything or nothing at all...

I'm at a point where I want to do something but I can't choose if I just want to do something with my Bachelor's degree or if I want to go beyond that...