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LostInSpace
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26 May 2007, 3:34 am

Are people always telling you to "relax"? I admit that I do tend to get more worked up over small things than other people do, and I am highly anxious in general, but people always seem to think that I'm totally a wreck, even when I'm really not. I think it's because I tend to speak quickly, and maybe something about my intonation makes them think I'm freaked out. Anyway, I really hate it. My ex-boyfriend used to say, "Shhh, shhh" when I wasn't really worked up at all. It drove me crazy, because I felt like he was treating me like an over-excited toddler.



Danielismyname
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26 May 2007, 3:53 am

Na...the opposite:

‘Talk,’ ‘show personality...’ and ‘...lighten up!' A lot of '...you're a cool one aren't you?'

This is due to me looking like a rock externally; internally, I'm an anxious and hate filled mess with multiple personalities that cannot stop talking.

*SHRUG*

They cannot "read" you, so they're just guessing what you're feeling like.



Esperanza
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26 May 2007, 4:33 am

Every single day, usually multiple times a day, I get, "What's the matter?"

Nothing is the matter people! I'm FINE! Stop asking me that; you're making me think there IS something wrong, and there isn't anything wrong!



26 May 2007, 4:52 am

Something my Dad always said to me when I was still living with my family. He also told me not to get over excited. Did I look excited to him when I was having an anxiety attack to changes or noise.

My ex also told me "Relax." Got on my nerves.



LostInSpace
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26 May 2007, 5:23 am

Esperanza wrote:
Every single day, usually multiple times a day, I get, "What's the matter?"

Nothing is the matter people! I'm FINE! Stop asking me that; you're making me think there IS something wrong, and there isn't anything wrong!


My brother used to do that. And then he would argue with me when I told him that there was absolutely nothing wrong: "I know there's something wrong!" Um, no there's not. I'm just fine. I guess it's sweet that he cared so much, but it got annoying.



Kosmonaut
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26 May 2007, 5:31 am

LostInSpace wrote:
Are people always telling you to "relax"?


nah, i get the opposite response. well not recently, but someone once said that i was so laid back i would fall over, or something.
i have no idea what that meant.



pluto
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26 May 2007, 7:32 am

I've been asked to 'Relax' on a few occasions.All it does is make me more self conscious and
tense than I was in the first place !


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bizmack
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26 May 2007, 7:43 am

yeah i get that as well....either its because i take thinkgs too literally or someone isnt satisfied with expression....my gf also says that when im with here because i am a highly anxious person and i shake and have sweaty hands sometimes with her...although i am really excited to see her she thinks something is wrong with me when its just the opposite because i am happy to be with her...it also doesnt help when someone brings it up as if i already didnt know....sometimes i wonder why i even show emotions at all...people tend to just s&%t on them in the end anyway....


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larsenjw92286
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26 May 2007, 9:18 am

That's good advice!


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26 May 2007, 9:35 am

I get told to relax sometimes but not often.



tomamil
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26 May 2007, 9:39 am

the advice i hear most of the times is to start drinking alcohol. :) they don't want me to be getting drunk, they just think that i am not relax, because i don't drink alcohol. people think that my ability to make a move and be more talkative in new company would increase if had some beer. they always tell me, 'stop closing yourself off', 'go out', 'meet new people', 'have a drink', 'be more relax', 'live a life!', thanks, it sounds so easy.



BigT
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26 May 2007, 9:49 am

People say things like that to me. A few days ago, someone at school told me, "You're going to have to make a decision about which college to go to soon." I nodded, then they said "Don't look so worried!"

Worried? Did I look worried? I can't tell what my expression was like, but I definately didn't feel worried at all. I felt normal.

And there was a kid at my old school who was always telling me what to do, "relax" being one of the things he said.



Nellie
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26 May 2007, 10:06 am

LostInSpace wrote:
Are people always telling you to "relax"? I admit that I do tend to get more worked up over small things than other people do, and I am highly anxious in general, but people always seem to think that I'm totally a wreck, even when I'm really not. I think it's because I tend to speak quickly, and maybe something about my intonation makes them think I'm freaked out. Anyway, I really hate it. My ex-boyfriend used to say, "Shhh, shhh" when I wasn't really worked up at all. It drove me crazy, because I felt like he was treating me like an over-excited toddler.


My husband does this to me ALL THE TIME!! It drives me nuts and then I do get mad only proving his point even though I wasn't mad before.


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26 May 2007, 10:23 am

yes,"relax" in NT speak often means "shut up and comply with me".



girl7000
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26 May 2007, 10:23 am

pluto wrote:
I've been asked to 'Relax' on a few occasions.All it does is make me more self conscious and
tense than I was in the first place !


Yes, I get that too. I can't relax - I've even tried meditation and that doesn't help - I just become really conscious of people's breathing and clocks ticking etc.

The closest I get to relaxing is doing an activity (or engaging in one of my 'obsessions' that totally engrosses me and enables me to block other things out.

I also find that people misinterpret my feelings or intentions from my facial expression. When I used to have to go food shopping with my mother as a child, I just had a neutral expression because I was neither sad nor happy. She would discipline me for looking 'tense' and not looking happy and said I did it on purpose to make people think she was a bad mother!!

But I wasn't doing anything!

I still have this problem today - I just can't do the facial expression thing.
And I certainly cannot relax.



squier
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26 May 2007, 11:16 am

LostInSpace wrote:
Are people always telling you to "relax"? I admit that I do tend to get more worked up over small things than other people do, and I am highly anxious in general, but people always seem to think that I'm totally a wreck, even when I'm really not. I think it's because I tend to speak quickly, and maybe something about my intonation makes them think I'm freaked out. Anyway, I really hate it. My ex-boyfriend used to say, "Shhh, shhh" when I wasn't really worked up at all. It drove me crazy, because I felt like he was treating me like an over-excited toddler.

yes I hear that alot, but I hear "calm down" more often, I always tell them "I'm not hyper!"


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