Can't cope without a special interest?

Post Reply New Topic

Hi, I've been wondering about special interests and how important they are for people with autism.
I'm diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome and suffer from depression, and I've realized that I can only cope as long as I have a special interest to occupy myself with. Unfortunately I can't keep the same interest for very long. I like reading fiction and RPG games, and when I find a particular book or game I like it becomes my special interest. I read discussions online, gather information, read other people's reviews, look at fan art etc., and think about it for most of my waking hours... I do it very intensely for a few months, and then I'm burned out on it and my interest fades.
This is when I have trouble coping, when I'm "between special interests", like I am now. I feel anxious and restless and can't concentrate, so it's difficult to look for a new interest. I'm scared of these episodes. I feel like a drug addict constantly looking for my next fix. It would be a lot easier if I could stick to one interest all my life, but I don't get to choose what becomes my obsession. I'm also very picky and niche about what I like.
It's been like this for me for as long as I can remember, it seems like it's simply how my brain is wired.
Is this something intrinsic for people with ASD?
How do you cope with these episodes if you have them?

Special interests have always been my strongest autistic trait. It's almost as if I don't pick my special interests, they picked me. I didn't wake up one day and say, "I want to be obsessed with X". I just was.

Oh yes, yes, yes! That's exactly how I feel. I lost a really long term special interest and it's quite devastating. I've had two psychologists tell me to look for a new one. That's not how it works It's also been suggested I got back to the one I lost. Which part of 'lost' don't they understand? When a special interest is gone, it's gone. It is not like a light switch that you can just turn back on.

I wish I could have a more "useful" interest that helped me to progress in my life, sports for example. My interests are very solitary. I sit and do them on my own while other people make friends, work, get married and so forth.
I go from feeling amazing when I've found a new "project" to feeling extremely low once I've exhausted it.
I guess this would be considered a destructive behavior, but it feels like such a essential part of who I am. Are there other autistics who basically live only for their special interests?

Yeah I'm the same way. I consider myself to be like a special interest nomad. I'll get into something and if I really like it I'll throw myself into it so much that I eventually burn out. If it's something that I liked enough, I might go back to it after taking a substantial break, but with many things that never happens.

Right now I feel like I'm between special interests. I do have hobbies that I do to pass the time, and sometimes I like them enough to obsess over them, and that does help keep the depression at bay somewhat, but I'm definitely not as happy as I'd be if I had a special interest that I was really passionate about.

You're right that you can't just go out and find a special interest. You just kind of have to go about things and wait for it to happen. For me, if I lose a special interest because I burned out on it, or just can't do it anymore for some other reason, it can take years for me to find something new to be passionate about.

The only thing I can suggest to cope is just to just try to keep yourself busy with activities that you have some interest in even if it's not on a special interest level. It will keep your mind occupied and pass the time, and in the process, you might possibly find a new special interest again.

I'm a bit luckier in that I usually have two or three interests on the go at once, and they often revive again after a period of months or years. It's still depressing when they fade. My obsession with Doctor Who suddenly disappeared last summer, and it felt like I'd lost part of myself. ("I'm not a Whovian any more. Maybe I never really was?") And there's the frustrating times when I look at the 800-plus books on my shelves and realise that there's not one I currently have any interest in reading.

As I have said, my current special interest, Denis Istomin, came about quite by chance and started in an unusual way. What started with empathy (he was having a medical timeout due to illness), developed into interest in his match and interest in his life. I was impressed by all he overcame to make the ATP tour. I think my interest in Denis Istomin makes me pay more attention to events in Russia, very much in the news today.

Interesting to hear your thoughts. Another thing with me is that I can't do anything in moderation, it's either total obsession or total disinterest. And only one thing at once. So it's easy to burn out.

I can relate to not being able to do things in moderation and that seems to apply to multiple areas in my life. Except with me, I often have multiple activities I'm doing at once, and then there are more that I wish I was doing but can't because I'm physically incapable to doing that many things at once. A normal person would probably just rotate them, but I find I'm not able to.

I'm fortunate because my interests in people always branch out into multiple areas. My interest in Denis Istomin led me to research Orenburg, Russia and Tashkent, Uzbekistan, the cities where he was born and raised. I have tried to do research about life for Russian people in Tashkent, Uzbekistan, an angle that hasn't been explored much. It was Denis who inspired me to take tennis lessons. I hope to get back on court soon.

I become extremely depressed and withdrawn without a special interest. Unfortunately it has been over three years since I last felt enthralled by anything.

Now I am terribly saturnine and can barely motivate myself to do anything.

I'm also very lost without a special interest. I went without a special interest in 2004 and most of 2005. I feel like I'm being attacked when anyone tries to take any of my special interests away. It hurts even more if the woman who's given birth to you tries to do that.

Ugh, I can so relate. One of my special interests happens to be crystals/gemstones, and when I was younger I got so carried away buying a ton of them for my collection. I wasn't working or paying rent, and when my mother found out about it she was livid. I had racked up quite a bit of debt, though not all of it was from the crystal collection, and she was strongly pressuring me to sell them. I couldn't bear to do that because they felt like they were a part of me. I tried to explain that, but my mother really didn't get the strong bond and attachment I had to these items.

Eventually logic won out and I convinced her that if I tried to sell them somewhere like Ebay, I'd have to pay listing fees and there was no guarantee anyone would buy them, so then I could be out a whole lot more money. This was a completely legitimate argument because I'd previously tried to sell jewellery I'd made on Ebay(I don't think Etsy existed back then), no one bought any of it, and I lost like $50 in listing fees. It was such a relief when she relented and stopped pressuring me to try to sell them.

My special interest is Art. It can be found everywhere and my window to the world is the internet. What I have done to maintain moderate interest is unfollow all Facebook friends who are not artists. This removes the filth from my feed and only artists and a select few others are in my feed. So I see their latest art and events going on.

I would read books overnight before I had my son, but now that he is four, I find that art is the easiest to stay attached to. I know a lot about art but I don;t always have the words for it.

I hope you can find something that really interests you and something you can stay connected to. I know it is hard.

The disconnected time is painful, and only we can understand how important these things are to us.

I don't think I have ever been without a special interest. I feel like I always get attached to something. My first one started when I was two years old, and most of them last at least a couple years, if not more. I've been attached to Doctor Who and Torchwood since 2012, so it has been five years for me with the same one. There are some things too that have always been interests for me, like Anime and cartoons, but they aren't as intense as my love of DW and TW. I worry a lot about losing it though. I hope it remains my special interest forever, as I have made many friends because of it.

I would just recommend trying out different things that might be of interest to you, and if you're like me, something will stick with you and you will have found your new special interest. Best of luck!

Well due to my autism I would always go from one interest to another, for an example I love Crash Bandicoot & I always will.....but if I get tired of playing games then I would move onto a tv show I still watch. Then move on from another thing to another, surely your not the only one who has that thing.