When relatives ask, "what have you been up to lately?"

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Sorry if a similar topic already exists, I couldn't find one.

What do you say to people you haven't seen in a while when they ask, "What have you been up to lately?"

It is one thing I rather dread when going to family gathering occasions.

I don't currently have a job, haven't gone to college (would like to, but don't have any plans to yet), I still live with my parents, I don't socialize (hardly ever even leave the house), I stay home watch my favorite tv shows/movies, read, knit, and make art. My cousins who are still in high school are passing right by me in life. They can drive, are getting jobs, and are preparing for college.

So, when someone asks me what I have been up to lately I struggle to answer.
"I watched Sherlock for the fifth time right after I finished rewatching Doctor Who (not including classic Who) for the 3rd time and I also knit a scarf for my only friend (who thankfully puts up with my lack of wanting to socialize)" doesn't seem like it'd be a good answer.

I hope what I have typed makes sense, my sleep schedule is practically vampiric, now that it is morning, I am quite tired.

I often reply "Same old, same old..." meaning 'same old things'. I also have been googling how to make small talk before a social gathering, it helps. Most people are happy to talk about themselves if you ask the right questions. (ask about what THEY do for work, or about their kids, or if they've had any fun vacations lately)
I think it's also ok to say "I am not great at small talk but I try, sometimes I never know what to talk about" and it has broken the ice for me with a group of new friends.

Be honest , say 'Nothing noteworthy , at least nothing to keep a conversation going'.

I agree with sun.flower , I think it's perfectly fine to acknowledge your inadequacies in the conversation department with family as sometimes this can keep a conversation going.

I might talk about what I'm researching--except if I'm researching autism LOL

I don't really have a big family...but when they ask, they usually already know. I'm studying for my bachelor's, then after I get that, I'll be studying for my veterinary licence... pretty much all there is to know.

I feel the same way too. I get asked that at every family gathering too and I know they are trying to be nice, but I hate it. I have some very successful cousins and I feel like no matter what I say, I'm letting them down, even though I know that I'm trying the best I can in life.

I usually will say something like "Not much, what about you?" so they are likely to then talk about what they are doing and it gets me off the hook so I don't have to talk about my life.

Just general things-work, Toastmasters, time spent with my cat, tennis.

Thankfully my relatives know not to ask me. I've been up to my usual weird obsessive autistic interests, and they don't want to hear about it, so I'm off the hook!

I just say "not much, what about you?"

I have always gotten this sort of question at family gatherings, and never had a good answer. I am not a social butterfly, and have never done anything of note or of interest to anyone except myself, so it always makes me uncomfortable, and I never know how to respond. I generally just say something to the effect that I haven't been doing anything special, and then I move off from the person asking the question, but then I usually end up running into someone else at the gathering who will ask the same question. ARG!

Fortunately, I am a hermit type person, so I don't often go to family gatherings anymore.

Whenever i get asked i never go into too much detail knowing that what i have to say is not of interest for the person asking the question. I mostly reply with "Nothing noteworthy".

"I don't currently have a job, haven't gone to college (would like to, but don't have any plans to yet), I still live with my parents, I don't socialize (hardly ever even leave the house), I stay home watch my favorite tv shows/movies, read, knit, and make art. My cousins who are still in high school are passing right by me in life. They can drive, are getting jobs, and are preparing for college."

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yeah that gets on my nerves too. except that my older sister is a medical doctor. and i have only had minimum wage jobs. and got fired. long term unemployment. when my sister was my age, 34, she already finished an MD, residency, internship. and she was working at Kaiser as a primary care physician. she had 2500 patients and her photo was on the wall.

while i am nobody. while i am nothing.

depending on their tone, that "what have you been up to lately?" might be ridiculing or judging. but of course. anything could be ridiculing or judging.

how about answering "nothing particular". that way you are not lying, exaggerating, misleading, or speaking figuratively. but you are also not telling them things that they could use against you. such as telling them how much tv you watch. some people see watching tv as a bad thing.

unless someone is paying you to do so, knitting and making art does not, to me (and i am not a person) sound too socially acceptable. b/c it ain't productive. per se. but i ain't "most people". and my opinion does not matter.

figure out a way to earn money for what you knit or the art you make.

what kind of art do you make?

can you at least enter contests or something?

something a little more interactive?

something with some sort of prospective rewards, however astronomical the chances?

yeah i flunked out Structural Engineering over 10 years ago.

all the jobs i had were minimum wage. and got fired.

pretty much i do not interact with anyone unless it's a functional reason. b/c i am so paranoid they might put on a facade of being good, nice precious lil "people". and then end up homophobic. or with some other significant character flaw. such that it would behoove my worthless corpse to stay at least ten miles away from them at all times.

what kind of art do you make?

maybe you could take classes somewhere. costs money, i know. but it could be an investment if you get a job that involves art.

but whatever.

on the other hand though.

maybe college ain't all it's cracked out to be.

big deal.

Thank you all for your responses, I'll have to keep the "Nothing much, how about you?" type response in mind next time I'm in that sort of situation.

Thankfully my family isn't really the judging/passive aggressive type, so they are asking politely, as far as I can tell.



My defense against my tv watching is that I am always (unless I get very absorbed in what I am watching) working on something at the same time. That or I just listen to music instead.



Actually, I have been recently thinking about making some things to see if I could sell them.
I did have an art-ish kind of job but they had to let me go since I was the last person they hired and they ended up not having enough work to justify keeping me there (which I completely understand, I actually was getting bored with the lack of things to do, and I do not bore easily).

I make all sorts of things. I knit, crochet, sculpt, sew, paint, draw, etc. I love learning different ways to create things. That is one reason I am having a bit of difficulty figuring out what I'd like to do, job-wise. Though multiple people have said I should sell the things I make, so I do think I am going to give that a go.

Also, as far as the job goes, the fact that I don't have my driver's license yet is probably the biggest obstacle for me right now. I have a lot of anxiety about driving, the last time I drove I had a panic attack.

Great topic, I dread this question also, usually asked at family gatherings, by friends I haven't seen for a long time and when I visit my parents. I find it a pointless question because I reply the same way every time but they still ask anyway. Just working and cleaning my flat is all I say because that's all I do, witch they then judge my poor social life by asking why I don't go clubbing and drinking more. I could go into detail and say I've been driving around, smoking pot with friends and visiting historic landmarks but thats not a good answer.

I used to hate this question, too. It got easier once I started doing some more "normal" stuff like gardening. Something like books is probably fine for conversation.

Great topic, I dread this question also, usually asked at family gatherings, by friends I haven't seen for a long time and when I visit my parents. I find it a pointless question because I reply the same way every time but they still ask anyway. Just working and cleaning my flat is all I say because that's all I do, witch they then judge my poor social life by asking why I don't go clubbing and drinking more. I could go into detail and say I've been driving around, smoking pot with friends and visiting historic landmarks but thats not a good answer.
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family gatherings. the most recent one was when my precious lil "mom" dropped dead. october 2015. now that she's dead, hardly ever have to go to family gatherings. thank deities.

all they did at family gatherings was eat. constantly pressured to eat this, eat that. when i was 13 to 19 i was a vegetarian. those cheap lil chinese restaurants did not have vegetarian options. either that or they just did not order any. when i was 13 once. i ate six bowls of rice in one meal. none of the entrees/side dishes. were veg. they were small bowls. but still.

makes me wanna puke just thinking about it.

nobody cares about me. precious lil "people"? my precious lil "mom"?

telling me someone else's daughter did some academically smart thing and why wasn't i like that?

she was totally obsessed when i cut my hair. buzz cut. 2003. san diego. totally homophobic.

transphobic. cissexist. superficial. materialistic.

the other thing too. is that plenty of precious lil "people" act like they are so absolutely important b/c they are so "busy". "busy" doing what? you would think they were running into burning buildings and successfully rescuing victims.

precious lil "people" are so annoying and they have big egos.

even my precious lil "parents" had the nerve to outright refuse when i asked them to say "excuse me" instead of "huh" and "what".

they do not care about me.

nobody cares about me