Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

starkid
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,812
Location: California Bay Area

12 Jul 2017, 3:52 pm

Have you had a lot of people telling you that you feel things you don't feel? Especially in therapy.

I have noticed that people tend to assume a huge amount of emotional motivation behind the things people do and say and sometimes disbelieve me when I say what I really feel.



skiddlebugz
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 287
Location: Texas

12 Jul 2017, 5:15 pm

I'm kinda confused to this question but i'll try and put my thoughts on what I think your talking about.
I guess it happens to me, i try to tell the story that got me the feelings and someone else says I don't feel that way. It's kind of like there trying to correct me. Sometimes I just want to tell them "You're not helping." It makes me want to just break down and cry sometimes... :?


_________________
Do whatever makes you happy! <3


sun.flower
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jun 2017
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 62

12 Jul 2017, 6:04 pm

I can see how that would be frustrating in therapy, almost like they don't see who you really are, just who they assume you are based on their past experience.

I have had that happen with family, and I remind myself they are likely telling their story more than mine.

I think you are on the right track, knowing how you feel and knowing when someone else is wrong about your feelings, some people can't even identify their feelings in the first place. When I saw a therapist, she would suggest how I was feeling because I couldn't always put words to it, and she helped me shed some light, so maybe that is 'what they do' when someone is needing help?



This_Amoeba
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Dec 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 575
Location: Plum Island, NY

13 Jul 2017, 11:41 am

A therapist kept telling me the reason I have trouble approaching people is because I have low self esteem and that I'm worried about saying something dumb, which is not the case. She kept giving me these useless self esteem assignments to do. I kept telling her that I just can't and don't know what to say or how to join in and she kept insisting it was a self esteem issue. I stopped seeing her. She was one of those therapist who always asks "how do you feel about that" and tells me to "list good qualities about yourself," and it's like, I don't know damn it! :evil:

My dad always thinks I'm angry when I'm not and insists he can tell when I'm angry, which actually does make me angry.



shortfatbalduglyman
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Mar 2017
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,572

13 Jul 2017, 9:37 pm

yeah and they use condescending terminology. they have the nerve to tell me "you got mad" "upset" or "pissed off".

"annoyed" or "angry" sounds better.

even their choice of words. shows. betrays. their prejudice. bias. they truly believe they are morally superior to me, and, as a result, are morally justified at doing whatever they want. while i have to passive aggressively tolerate anything they do.

precious lil "friends".

sometimes i feel like before the next social interaction, have to write a written contract about what each party will or will not do. and otherwise. then what.

but of course i ain't psychic. or telepathic. there are always numerous things anyone could easily do, that i do not know the response for.



Britte
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,136
Location: @

14 Jul 2017, 12:29 am

I don't become annoyed, easily, but, if someone tells me how I feel, or, what I am experiencing, or anything else about myself, that only I can know, it really bothers me. I mean, to the point where I will lose all interest in ever communicating with that person, again.



CharityGoodyGrace
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,124

14 Jul 2017, 4:55 am

I've been in the situation where people assume one size fits all, or one style fits all, so to speak. They assume that since most people feel a certain way in a certain situation you must too. They are playing a game of probability and guessing, rather than sussing you out as an individual. Treating you like an individual would have been the right thing to do.



Dear_one
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 77
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,721
Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines

14 Jul 2017, 10:10 am

This_Amoeba wrote:
A therapist kept telling me the reason I have trouble approaching people is because I have low self esteem and that I'm worried about saying something dumb, which is not the case. She kept giving me these useless self esteem assignments to do. I kept telling her that I just can't and don't know what to say or how to join in and she kept insisting it was a self esteem issue. I stopped seeing her. She was one of those therapist who always asks "how do you feel about that" and tells me to "list good qualities about yourself," and it's like, I don't know damn it! :evil:

My dad always thinks I'm angry when I'm not and insists he can tell when I'm angry, which actually does make me angry.


Wherever you go you will find people assuming that what works for them is a panacea. There are also legions of dullards who have managed to pass exams without ever understanding the material and are now going through the motions to look professional without ever doing their real jobs. They just don't know any better.
Even engineering is plagued with fools. Another list I follow has huge numbers of postings from a fellow who only knows one fact, and tries to teach everyone this great key, while being oblivious to all the exceptions to his rule which the rest of the list is mostly about dealing with.



Britte
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,136
Location: @

14 Jul 2017, 11:24 am

I am surrounded by people like that^, these day, at one of my jobs. I cannot tell if they are simply, oblivious, or, if they have a superiority complex of sorts.