Was Mimicking Conscious in Earlier Years?
Hi there,
I'm self-diagnosed aspergers. I began my journey after finding out about my Dad's side of the family being aspergers to varying degrees (some diagnosable, some not). When I read the adult and adolescent traits online, I burst into tears of relief (seems to be a common story). After years of psychiatric mistreatment I had finally found my tribe. Looking through those traits was like staring into a mirror. There were too many bizarre and particular matches to be able to turn away. I already feel far more at peace with life.
However one thing that puzzles me is that while adult presentation is quite typical (except that instead of coming across as shy I come across as over-confident, a permanent smile on my face, all the while in a state of almost permanent panic due to crippling hidden social anxiety), my childhood profile seems somewhat atypical. I don't remember consciously mimicking other people's body language, or being told I had problems with eye contact.
This could be because my mother encouraged me to take up public speaking, and attending Toastmasters with her was such a treat- I got to have adults listen to me all night. My primary school was very inclusive and I was just accepted as being very unique. I displayed it in all manner of ways- obsessions with poetry, religion, music, and truly eccentric clothing. If adults did notice such differences I was not pulled up on them and therefore have no conscious recollection.
I had friends. although the bonds were often intense or me rescuing an underdog. I equally loved the company of my parents friends, and even preferred it over the contact to other kids if those kids were not my friends. I was teacher's pet for sure. In a way I was friends with the whole class. It was a real community. The bullying didn't begin until around 8 (but it was all downhill from there). Even my year 5 and 6 teacher bullied me.
So either I was mild enough in these body language traits that the difficulties were missed, or dismissed (because I had other such strengths), or I really didn't have these traits to the point where I needed to mimic other's body language. I mimicked friends' interests a lot- a social chameleon, and this occasionally got me into trouble! So my question to you is, do you remember consciously mimicking others' body language prior to 10? This will help me to establish whether I may have mimicked unconsciously (a true expert at masking), or didn't need to mask in the first place.
Sure enough once my social situation stepped up a level, aged 11, new school, the environment no longer encouraged uniqueness and that's when I fell behind socially big-time.The social environment was a hell of a lot more complex, puberty began, and I was in deep, deep waters. From then on I definitely tick all the boxes. I am now definitely hugely conscious of things like making forced eye contact (uncomfortable, sometimes even with close friends), and knowing when to end a conversation, and misjudging what side of the footpath people will walk on (so I bump into people almost daily).
Your feedback, especially an answer to my question will be greatly appreciated.
This is all so new to me, and I've got to do a lot to get my head around it.
_________________
Aspie- 140/200. But I'm not what you'd expect! (life motto).
Despite never looking much at eyes if at all, no one has ever come out and told me that I didn't. It didn't change the fact that I have never sought out and only fleetingly made eye contact while my glance swept past theirs.
I have never generally mimicked body language. I copied my mother's actions in my play when I was little (1-3 at least), and I mimicked other pupils' (lack of) reading skills at home when I played school with my plushies at age 7 or 8. At age 10-11 I did mimic some kids in respectively a movie and a cartoon I liked, but just in my mind or somewhat when alone, I didn't try to act like them when I was interacting with anyone. Mimicking people like that is something that never crossed my mind at all, it's just something I have heard of after I started looking into whether I might be an aspie 9 years ago.
_________________
BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
Beautiful, sweet, gentle, playful, loyal
simply the best and one of a kind
love you and miss you, dear boy
Stop the wolf kills! https://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeact ... 3091429765
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Elk Could Return to the UK After 3K Years In Rewilding |
07 May 2025, 6:50 pm |
Quashed conviction after nearly 40 years |
13 May 2025, 4:52 pm |
Returning to Modding After 10 Years – Relearning Everything |
30 Jun 2025, 4:40 pm |
Funeral Home Owner Who Hid Bodies Sentenced To 20 Years |
29 Jun 2025, 1:52 am |