Selfish

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Would you describe yourself as selfish, wanting things your own way and on your terms, notching how this might impact on others or just not seeing this as your problem?

I would describe myself as pretty selfish, but I try not to take things for granted. I always "want what I want" and I don't think I consider the opinions of others as often as I should. That being said, some of my "selfishness" is really a result of sensory issues, anxiety, and obsessions. I think it's something I could probably work on, though .

I'm more on the unselfish end, in fact I tend to be over-accommodating. I usually let others have first turn or go ahead of me, I'll sit in the back, and let others decide on where to go or what to do. When I was a kid and others would use my things, I'd occasionally walk away leaving my things with them. As an adult I was a manager for years, which involved focusing on the career needs of others and I found this natural for me. It's always been easy for me to get gifts for others, but when I buy something for myself I agonize over whether it's worth it. I'm sort of out of touch with my own wants - they're sort of nebulous and change easily. Maybe it's the way I was raised or being codependent or having lived so many years "faking" neurotypical behavior. When I run into sensory issues or social overwhelm, I'll assert myself, but I find it almost painful to do so.

By that definition, no. I have become much more relaxed and friendly over the years. Far from wanting things just one way and no other, I embrace changes. Doing the same thing over and over for years with no apparent change nearly made me want to stop living.

yes. quite frankly, i would describe myself as selfish.

however, almost everyone is pretty selfish too. it's just that some of them (especially neurotypical uppity extroverts). act like they are so morally innocent and self-important.

the other thing, is that it's easy for neurotypicals and cisgenders to see AS and trans folks as "selfish".

I'm not. And sometimes I don't see it as a good thing. But then, it's not like I have much needs -- or even like having the need.
I wish I'm selfish. Sometimes I wish I have that kind of drive. I'm only as far as possessive by choice, but almost never outright selfish. I always take account on other's, and trying not to mainly because I don't want to yet I end up doing it.
I'm likely worried about anyone, almost never worried about myself. And I don't like others being worried especially if it concerns me.


Long story short, I don't have the guts to be selfish.

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Ohhh, interesting....ummmmmm.

In one way, I am selfish, if it protects myself, i.e to avoid people or events or to pursue a special interest and i like to work and do things my way and on my terms. Of course this is not always possible. I am however also a people pleaser, even if that contradicts the above statement sometimes (I always regret it when I do) I was bullied really badly my entire school life, and then occasionally in the work place later, so to avoid conflict I try to say or do what I think is the right thing. This has gotten me into trouble on Occassion when I could not tell if some was joking or not, I still cringe.

Can you be more specific?
This question is a bit too broad to really answer.

Yes I guess it is.

Do you put your own needs and interests above others, and do perhaps not even consider that you might be or/and feel justified if you do?

I want to please people, but don't always do so successfully. I get too nervous and sometimes I don't do things right. That frustrates people, but I don't want to do that. It makes me feel sad and like a failure for not achieving what I wanted to do.

I think I could be a lot more selfish, but I'm too concerned with what others think of me. I constantly think about my own interests, and everything I do is generally geared towards me getting to do what I want to do.
I think a lot of my stress, and as a result meltdowns or shutdowns result from me trying to put everyone else's needs before my own.

In some ways I am selfish, and in other ways I am not. When I am around other people, I usually try to be friendly and accommodating. I don't mind to compromise in many situations. However, I prefer to be alone most of the time, and I'd rather do most things independently.