Identifying Autism in people?

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There is something that always nags me about people. I have friends who are on the spectrum, people on the spectrum I'm not particularly close with, or even people who are siblings to anyone on the spectrum. I don't struggle reading them or making eye contact, even though I barely look anyone in the eye otherwise.
I think this was made clear when I briefly met someone at church, and I could look into her eyes, and I later learned that she was the sister of another guy on the spectrum I'm good friends with.
I'm crazy...