Feeling unsuccessul

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So sorry I haven't posted in a while. But I've been busy dealing with my family (oh boy, let's say there's been a lot of skeletons that have come out of the metaphorical closet) along with getting my schooling in order (I'm about 8 months out from getting my teaching credential). I've also been trying to work two jobs. I had a talk with my girlfriend last night and she agreed with me that I need to quit my second job.

I'm basically falling apart and feeling stressed out (my chest hurts when I think about going to my second job, which is a retail environment). It doesn't help I've learned my dad is having surgery on the 7th and will be confined to his bed for a month. This means because my mom works full time, I'll be doing a lot of the chores at home (cooking, cleaning, taking care of dogs) along with my college classes. As I think about giving my two weeks at my second job, I feel like I've failed at being a functional human being.

My dad likes to tell me (when he thinks I'm not doing enough) that at my age (I'm 25), my mother was taking care of two young kids, house work, balancing the family budget, etc. I already struggle with feelings of inadequacy when I compare myself to my peers (most are married and have their degrees). And now, I feel like I've failed at another social expectation because I can't handle having a second job.

Any advice on how to overcome this? I'd be grateful.

Just do the best you can.

Forget about all the people who seek to judge you.

As long as you know, in your heart, that you're trying your best, and that you're harming no one, people shouldn't judge you.

Well said ^

I also say to myself, "do your best and forget the rest". Easier said than done but like all habits, gets easier the more you do it.

Aren't families great? Thet can screw up your past, but they don't have to screw up your future.

There's a little secret about "successful" people I discovered after many years... it's all an illusion. The whole happy families and fabulous "go-getting" high achieving people... it's dreamt up by ad men so they can sell you stuff.

... and do what kraftie says...

Stop comparing yourself to others
Find what fulfills you in life (you only have one life...why are you living a life other people want you to live instead of one you feel really satisfies you?)
At least take a look into minimalism and its principles (its far more than being frugal and decluttering).

Start with Goodbye; Things by Fumio Sasaki and all books, podcasts etc by The Minimalists (Ryan Nicodemus and Joshua Fields Milburn).

Lots of great advice above, don't bow down to other peoples expectations of what you should do - difficult with loved ones and comparing yourself to peers but it still universally applies.
On a more practical approach in times of crisis (crisises, crises'??) i usually try to remember a few things,
The first was from a very old African fisherman to"worry about the crocodile closest to the boat" so whatever is most important deal with that first ie not a crappy job giving you stress but you fathers impending surgery/current relationship/college work etc.
The second is the pareto principle or 80/20 rule that you can usually get 80 percent effectiveness for 20% of the effort. so for the time being go for good enough, eg throw the vac round at your parents every so often, leave the dishes every other day, wash clothes when the wardrobe is running dry, batch cook and freeze a load of meals now ready for when you have no time (it might be boring but you wont starve). If anyone can do it better then that's their hang up and let them get on with it.
Finally dont neglect the bigger picture, college is important and in 5 years when your graduated/taking over the world you will barely remember the stresses of this situation so focus on that, speak to college in advance, let your partner know you will need full on support for x months and you might be hard to be around but you love them etc.

Good Luck

I know that, at my age, I will never have everything I might have had if I had started at the regular time. If I keep working at it, I still could have a lot.

Failure doesn't equate to being slower to gain a full-time career & independence -- just slower. Life isn't a competition. As long as you work toward goals, you are not failing -- can even change your mind about what those goals are & that still isn't failing. I define failing as not trying at all. Failure to thrive is the thing we all should try to run from. My goals keep me from suicide -- the ultimate failure, but not as a fault or flaw in personality. It is a failure to successfully figure out how to circumnavigate your problems & give up. We all have issues we need to work around -- some are larger that require cooperation. My personal failures have been mostly about how to convince people to cooperate with me for extended periods of time, so circumnavigate that problem by figure out ways to succeed solo, or find several people to help me in segments of the project rather than the whole thing. It took a lot of neglect from others to help me develop my problem solving skills. Many don't like my solutions, but I can't worry about what they like or don't like. I am finally in charge of my life & accept that my ways are weird & that's okay as long as I know my intentions are good.

Thank you guys for the advice It's been helpful to hear people say I need to take care of myself (I had friends say the same things today) and that the important thing is making the milestone/focusing on getting to it and not the pace. As for the minimalist thing, I'm more working on being more organized and letting go of my attachment to items ( I have an issue with hoarding and have been slowly but surely working through my items to make things less cluttered). I also just recently started therapy as well so hoping my therapist will be able to help as well with sorting everything out.

Do what works for you and not what works for your family.

Having two different jobs at once sounds like hell especially while doing school...I don't think you should beat yourself up too much about not being able to do that.

You all rock. Thank you so much for being so compassionate and caring. Here is a hug for you all.