Is it ok to say you don't like a friend's favorite film?

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Is this okay? I have gotten so much flak for this, but if you don't want my opinion, don't ask me for it. I don't volunteer my film critique, but sometimes people badger me for my opinion, and I can only think of so many benign things to say about a film I truly detest.

I've noticed this is mostly offensive to men....

It wouldn't be offensive to me.

We're two different people; it's inevitable that we will have a difference of opinion.

Thank you! People like you I want to talk about movies with.

Personally, if I were asking whether you liked a film, I'm probably hoping you did like it, but I'd rather have you tell me straight out that you didn't like it than lie to me or try to find a way to avoid the question. So from my perspective, yes, it's fine to say you didn't like it.

But then, that's a typical aspie answer. This forum probably isn't the best group of people to ask if you're wanting to know what's acceptable in a neurotypical world. I don't know...

Even among sensible neurotypicals, it's okay to dislike something another person likes.

Only narcissistic idiots expect you to like everything they like.

Depends on the person. Simply saying you don't like it is less likely to offend than running it down, obviously. I'm usually a tad disappointed to learn that somebody doesn't like what I like, because it means it's pointless trying to share it together. On the other hand, it could lead to an interesting discussion about why one person gets something out of it and another doesn't. Sometimes the one who likes it can show the other what they're missing.

I usually only run a film down if prodded into giving a detailed report. I am usually more curious to consider other people's reactions.


Maybe you're right, actually. Now that I think about it, every person who has ever done this to me has been one of those super needy friends, always trying to get me to do things their way for some reason or another. I ended up having to break off things with every single one of those people.


Haha, true. Though this forum is good for making me feel justified in replying honestly.

Look at it this way. If someone really cares about you personally they won't care if you don't like their movies. It's something so small and unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

If your friends don't like you because they don't like your movies then they can't be very good friends.

Most reasonable people won't be so ego-driven as to demand that their friend(s) like absolutely every same exact thing that they like. I've never noticed that being a requirement in anything I've observed about people's conversations or friendships. I really don't think anyone takes that stuff THAT personally.

I think it happens all the time that someone says something like "The English Patient is a total masterpiece, my favorite period of drama of all time," and the friend goes, "Ack, it wasn't my cup of tea! Every character was so awful, come on!"

Or even just a casual "Nah, not my thing." Usually people find this no big deal to be honest and casually just say "nah not for me, I like ___ " etc.

Things like favorite movie is not a big deal unless someone makes it a big deal.

I don't think I've ever heard of someone taking that so seriously that it's a breach in the friendship. Most people know their favorite things are THEIR favorite things. I think even someone on the spectrum with so-called poor theory of mind can take onboard that other people like other things.

I'm quite into film, and I have some favorites, and I'm quite an intense person, yet even I have never reacted badly to someone not liking something I like. If I don't care then it would take a complete lunatic to care about that, lol.

Interestingly, more often than not the film these people want to argue with me about is the same film:

The Last Samurai

Ughhhh Why?

Absolutely. And if they can't handle your different opinion, that's their problem, not yours.

I run across these NTs all the type that expect me to like all the same people they like. I always gently remind others that I'm free to like or not like whomever I choose. I have no desire to have others share all my preferences. I have to be able to make up my mind.

If they ask, then definitely. If they don't then it's better not to point it out. As in if someone says "I like the movie called Finding Nemo" and you don't, don't say "I don't" but instead "I see" or something similiar or nothing at all. But if they say "I like the movie Finding Nemo. Do you like it too?" then you can say "No, I don't" if you really don't like it. If they get offended, well... doesn't that mean they're just childish people? It's fine to be dissapointed if someone doesn't like the same things you do, but offended? Mature people don't do that.

On the other hand if you want to avoid conflict and still tell the truth, you could think about some of the movie's good parts even if you didn't like it as a whole. Then, when someone asks, you can say "I liked the part where Nemo played dead." If you really liked that part then it's not lying, but it's less likely to offend the person who liked the movie... unless they didn't like the scene you did, but that brings us back to the original problem.

I'd say that you can tell what you really think, just remember manners. Never say "that movie was trash" a simple "I didn't like it" is more appropriate.

Why wouldn't it be okay unless you are telling them "how can anyone like that film, they are so stupid." But if you said "I thought it was stupid," that is okay because you are only saying the film was stupid.

You can say instead "it wasn't my type" or tell them you are not into those kind of genres and leave it at that.

Yeah it's ok not to like things your friends like.

I've only had one friend like that and we don't talk anymore. I found her really difficult to talk to. If I didn't like something she always wanted me to justify why. It was tiring. I felt like I wasn't allowed to be me.

If you told me that you did not like my favorite film, I would not feel worse.

If you told me you liked my favorite film I would not feel better

The exception is if I was an actor, director or somehow involved in making the film

Actually I would rather you honestly tell me you did not like the film, than lie and say you liked the film. If you just humored me. Then I would feel like you thought I was way too fragile

When I was young my older sister took me to a movie. And I said I did not like the movie

She told me next time she would not take me

Maybe I should not have said that I did not like the movie

If she asked then it is her fault I was honest

But I did not have to give feedback

But whatever

That what I do not get though

In the past someone told me they liked my jacket, blanket, car, etc

But I did not see or build them

I merely picked them

Any compliments or insults are meant for whoever designed or at least sewed them

The other thing is that compliments are just as judgmental as insults

Saying you like something implies it ought to matter to the recipient that you like it