Strong need for privacy and solitude?

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Hi, I wonder if this is a common thing among us. I am a much more private person than almost anybody I know and I also need much more alone time and solitude, as well as peace and quiet.

I live in a very large town, and although I live in a rather calm part of it, it still kinda makes me anxious and I would ideally like to live in a very rural place with no neighbours. I hate it when there's always people around. Like on public transport. They're not doing anything to me, yet it makes me feel overwhelmed. I don't want to listen to strangers talking on the phone or to each other. I find most strangers kind of offputting, I am also sensitive to smells like cigarette smoke or body odor.

My flat is in a house with 13 flats and that's pretty normal I guess, but I have two direct neighbours and I hate it. The walls are not even especially thin and one of my neighbours isn't making any noise ever - the other is worse, I can sometimes hear his TV or music, but it's not extreme. But I just dislike the feeling of having other people live so close to me. I can deal with it as long as I don't or barely hear them, but sometimes when I hear some of the people around me, especially at night, I just want to explode.

I often dream of being in solitary places, like on the top of a mountain or in a small hut in the midst of nowhere. I often feel like I must be kinda bitter and grumpy, because other people that I've asked don't seem to feel the same way and I've been told that I am overly sensitive. Only my therapist didn't judge me for it but then that's her job lol.

It seems like that is pretty common for us.

I live in a city too, and I love that. Conveniences are nearby and people generally stay out of each other's lives, which is just the way I like it. I would hate to live in a small place where everybody knows everybody and are expected to chat whenever they meet. I love the anonymity of the big city. The only alternative to those two would be somewhere really remote, and I'm not upto living anywhere where getting groceries will be an expedition.
While I often find people annoying, I don't get overwhelmed by city crowds because I don't interact with them. Public transport during rush hour isn't fun, and it gets really hot and stuffed on the subway/bus then, but I've manged it fine when I have to and avoid that time of day if I can.

As much as I would like to not have neighbors, I know we can't have a house, because prices aside, you need to be practical (handy) because there will be need to repair stuff. I've always dreamt of living in a house, but that will never happen unless we win big time in the lottery. On the plus side for me, burglary is a little less likely, and no one can pass by and just look in the windows.

I'm perhaps the opposite, even though I live a pretty solitary life at present, I prefer to be in the company of people than alone. I also regularly travel by public transport and don't find the crowds offputting unless I'm extremely tired.

A recent example I traveled overseas with some friends, we stayed in a guesthouse and later a resort, but even the resort was open air, common grounds, buffet lunches. Being constantly around people was somehow much more relaxing than returning home to solitude. On the other hand I do not find it easy to attend a social event (conference etc.) if I don't know anyone there, since I can use even acquaintances to pick up social cues and make initial introduction (fun fact, when a person sees you talking with others they are more likely to speak to you), which probably has a career limiting consequences.

When I was younger I preferred solitude, but university changed all of that, I think a part of it was simply feeling alienated by aspects of my own society and culture (where sensitivity and other aspects of my personality was/is punished).

I am very private and need a lot of solitude. If I can't get my own space, and people are always in my face, I go nuts pretty quickly which is what is happening right now. I'm living with people and I can't stand it.
Being watched all the time means I am too self-conscious about every move, not comfortable doing many things I want to do, because I don't want that exposed to other people - it's just some innocuous things, but I want them to be private, just for me. I don't want other people watching, judging, commenting, talking to me, telling others, etc. I hate having the demand always on me to speak, to interact, demands to "share" and censure for being "secretive."
I hate having to watch what I'm doing all the time so my autistic traits or my trans-ness is kept hidden.
In my own space I can do as I please, and interact with others when I choose, not when they demand. Because 99% of the time I don't want to speak. I just want to be left alone to do my own things without interference by others.
Yeah. I need to move out.

I charish solitude.

Although I am a sociable person, I still look forward to my time alone too. I only work 3 days a week, which is enough for me, although it means I don't earn much money.

I'm the same, I need a lot of privacy and a lot of solitude in order to stay relatively happy, healthy and functioning.

If I'm not getting enough of either, all my functioning suffers.

I live in a major city where normally one should get a lot of that feeling of anonymity, but unfortunately the specific building I live in, and the immediate local area, is rife with nosy people who do intrude, won't mind their own business, and expect to stop and chat. It's my worst nightmare in terms of that kind of thing. I've previously lived in places where people really did just respect each other's privacy and that was my ideal.

So, now, I feel like I'm living in hell.

My dream is to be able to afford to move into my own place, on a quiet street where maybe I've even managed to find out that the micro-culture on that street is neighbors who mind their own business. There are some that do and others that don't, and I just got unlucky with this one.

Sometimes I find it hard to go out the door. My home is where I feel safe and where nobody can judge me. Sometimes going out can be such an effort, even just walking to the supermarket, which is only a 5-minute walk from my house.

Yes, I feel that way about just going out to walk a short way to shops. I just feel exposed to a lot of random stuff, including the neighbors who want to stop and chat.

I used to have a car and it actually helped me get out more, because it meant I could go from one "bubble" of privacy (my home) to another (my car) and feel like even on my car journey I wasn't so "out in the world."

That is a trait of mine that offends people

Yes.

Generally speaking I need privacy, though it depends on the company.

Many years ago I felt so comfortable with certain folks that the only negative thing I felt when they were around was a slight irritation that they got in the way of my pursuing any special interests that had to be done alone. I greatly valued their companionship because I'd been very lonely for years before that, I trusted them very well, and (probably the most important) I trusted myself to "perform" well as a worthwhile friend. So they never made me anxious. These days the only person I can stand being indefinitely walled up alive with is my partner. It's not without anxiety, but it's never been overwhelming. I can also cope with my son's company for a long time.

With just about everybody else these days, there's just too much potential for it to go wrong, so after typically 2 or 3 hours I'll get the urge to remove myself. Familiarity with the people concerned is very helpful. Often I'd rather spend time with somebody with known incompatibilities than with a stranger, though naturally it depends on how serious the incompatibilities are. Numbers also come into it - naturally, one-on-one is much more bearable than a swarm of people.