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livingwithautism
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09 Sep 2015, 5:55 pm

I have the same problems online as offline starting conversations. I know what I want to say but I can't put it into words. I don't know how to respond to other posters.



naturalplastic
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09 Sep 2015, 9:07 pm

But at least on line once you start talking...no one can interrupt you!



RhodyStruggle
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10 Sep 2015, 12:32 am

I hear you. For every comment I post there's several hundred that I don't because I can't figure out how to encode them in words.


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Earthling
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10 Sep 2015, 1:17 am

RhodyStruggle wrote:
I hear you. For every comment I post there's several hundred that I don't because I can't figure out how to encode them in words.

+1

Even bigger problem is keeping a conversation going for any amount of time, and ending it gracefully is equally difficult.



starkid
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10 Sep 2015, 11:51 am

Don't give up. Just post part of what you want to say if you can't put it all into words.



AsahiPto17
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11 Sep 2015, 12:13 am

Yeah, I know what you mean, even online conversation can be hard to start, or awkward etc.



Fraljmir
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11 Sep 2015, 4:33 am

I definitely have this. It's quite annoying, every single time I respond online (quite literally anything, even this), I end rewriting sentences at least a few times, to word it in a better way. The words I want to say never seem to come out right in text. I play online games (MMORPG's) and sometimes someone will say something to me like "Hey look it's (my name)!" and I'll just ignore them for about 5-10 minutes and then come back to it and say "Oh sorry I missed your message" once I've prepared myself to respond.



pete1061
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11 Sep 2015, 12:35 pm

My brain goes kinda "non linear" sometimes and I have trouble ordering sentences. Both reading them and writing them.

Large blocks of text confuse me, my visual cortex wants to scan it like an image for patterns. It's very hard for me to lock on to the row by row pattern for reading. My eye bounces around everywhere.

People say I speak well, but I have to carefully plan everything I say. If I don't I won't make any sense.
I have a good vocabulary and I can use grammar really well. It all takes a lot of concentration and work for me though. Verbal things do not come easy for me.

When I listen to people I hear the tone and inflections over the actual text, there is where people say one thing and mean another. I also will pay attention to the abstract, esoteric, and symbolic meanings before the literal surface words. This REALLY makes people frustrated with me, most people either completely ignore that layer or disregard it as nonsense. I can see metaphor & allegory jump right out of things.

Online is very frustrating for me because it is just a basic linear text flow.
Most of the channels of human communication are just not there.
Those subtleties are very important for effective communication.

Every day we all have conversations without using our mouths or words on a screen.
All not on the modern internet, a different sort of "online", natures internet.


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Noca
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11 Sep 2015, 2:50 pm

My social skills are not consistent across the board and vary from medium to medium.

My social skills regarding instant messaging are those which are the most developed for me, followed by forums, followed by in person 1on1, followed by text, followed by either phone or email 1on1, followed by group social skills in person and group chats online being my weakest area.


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Your neurodiverse score: 150 of 200
Your neurotypical score: 51 of 200

officially diagnosed with Asperger's as of 09/11/15

Reassessed 04/11/16
DSM-V: ASD level 2 with Social Communication Severity: level 2, Restrictive Repetitve Behaviour: level 2

ADOS-2 classification: Autism


Edenthiel
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11 Sep 2015, 5:51 pm

livingwithautism wrote:
I know what I want to say but I can't put it into words. I don't know how to respond to other posters.


I would hope that here on WP if you put something like that in your sig line people would respect it and ask for clarification if they misunderstand. Or at the very least, give you some leeway and let you throw extra words out & fine tune it as you go along, until the thought is complete?


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TheAP
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19 Sep 2015, 1:26 pm

Yes, I have the same problem putting my thoughts into words. The best advice I can give you is to just keep trying. Don't worry if it doesn't come out exactly how you wanted--most people will probably be able to get the gist of it.



EzraS
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27 Sep 2017, 2:13 am

I wish I had some advice on how to do this, but for me it is like a savant quirk. It just happened. I was very nervous and even scared doing it at first. But I had an insatiable drive to interact in forums. It's very strangly different from how withdrawn I am in real life.

(to those in WP land I know this is an old thread, but I have a good reason for replying to it)



green0star
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28 Sep 2017, 11:56 am

Its easier for me to have a conversation and maintain significant relationships online. Offline most of my relationships fizzle out in less then a year.