Can someone please talk to me? I'm going insane.

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I'm supposed to be going to ninth grade but none of my information has gone through which means I can't go to school. I have absolutely nothing to do all day and am suffering from agoraphobia so I can't go outside.
My mother wants to take me to go clothes shopping but I don't like the way clothes look or feel. I usually just wear a large coat to avoid this problem but my mother hates it and says I won't be able to wear it every single day.
I'm extremely depressed because of all of this and I have no feeling anymore except for apathy.
What am I supposed to do? I have nothing and everything is so hard.
I've been diagnosed with bipolar and that just makes everything worse. I've been weighing the pros and cons and I really just feel like killing myself all the time. I know I shouldn't because the feeling comes and goes but I'm tired of it.

It sounds like you need a therapist.....yesterday.

Do you have any particular "special interest?"

What sort of "information" does the school reply? In the meantime, is there a way you could go to school online? I heard there are now online high schools.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way.

I agree with kraftie. If you want to end all this mess you are in, I would recommend getting help if you aren't already doing so. I hate going clothes shopping as well, and I have to wear men's clothing most of the time (mostly gender neutral, but from the men's department) because I absolutely hate the way women's clothing feels. What sort of materials don't you like that clothes are made of? For me, it is mainly polyester and any sort of soft or stretchy clothing that I can't stand. Try looking at what your jacket is made of, and see if you can find similar clothing. You don't have to go out shopping- you can order them online.

As for the depression, bipolar, and agoraphobia, that is where I think you would benefit from seeking help. If you cannot leave your home, you could talk to a therapist online or over Skype or something like that. I am sorry you are dealing with all of this. I'm dealing with a load of crap right now too, and it is never fun. The good news is, you can get through this and you don't have to live this way. Good luck!

I'm too poor to get a therapist I need. I've gone to the local mhmr thing but all they did was put me on a waiting list that's so long there isn't even a point in waiting.
All the school says is they have to obtain information from my psychiatrist so then we ask the psychiatrist to resend it, then the school asks for it to be sent again. It just seems like and endless loop.
Also my mother helps as minimally as she can because she doesn't understand.
I can't go to online school. I went two years ago and the process was incredibly long and frustrating and I don't think I can do it again.

In what way was the process "incredibly long and frustrating" as to online school?

Why doesn't the psychiatrist send the records.

Do you have a father, as well as a mother?

Do you do lots of research on the computer in the meantime?

Just registering was frustrating and it took at least a month and I don't have enough time for that. We're already getting letters and calls that threaten to contact authorities because of my attendance.
I honestly don't know why the psychiatrist won't send them. That's the most frustrating part.
I'm not in contact with my father but he had bipolar disorder and possible asperegers so I'm pretty sure I inherited everything from him. All I got from him was bad things.
Research about what? There's literally nothing I can do. I have researched my options but I come up with nothing.

I mean just research things on the computer. Research what you're interested in.

Oh. Well yeah.

One time, a woman was toying with the idea of going back to university after her children had left, but decided it was silly because "By the time I graduated, I'd be 58!"
Her friend asked how old she'd be in four years if she didn't go to school.
She went.

I have had to learn to ignore the feeling that I'm not making enough progress for minimum wage much of the time, and just enjoy each step. Slow is OK, but I do try to watch out for getting the run-around. Some systems are well-intended but designed by incompetent people, while others are designed to waste your time so you won't get what you want another way. However, if you keep your wits about you, sometimes you can make years of progress in a week. Life is uneven that way.

Your shrink may be indecisive, busy, disorganized, or technically incompetent, but maybe referring the truancy officer to him would help.

I would think if the authorities got involved they'd straighten it out. I mean the objective would be to get you in school. I went through a really difficult time mentally and emotionally when I was 14. I also had a situation then with them dicking around over starting school in Sept and how frustrating it was. s**t is really difficult at 14. It was the toughest year of my life so far and it felt like all the misery and BS was gonna go on forever. But now it seems like a long time ago and things are much better now with me and how I feel.

BTW, by the time I was 14, I was just daydreaming through all my classes. I understand that these days, most of the student body is on their phone. School is mostly a babysitting operation, with a strong emphasis on creating obedient workers and reliable consumers, lacking political awareness. For many American black boys, it's jail prep.

"We were learning what to think instead of how."
- Jon Sirkis

Someone made a good suggestion when they said to refer the truant-officer people to the psychiatrist who won't supply the information, and to the school-administrator who demands the information.

Let those three groups talk it over among themselves, and not bother you about it.

Anyway, unless things have changed a lot since I was your age, school is a really undesirable environment anyway.

Though it would have probably been a big legal-fight in my day, most likely now you could get authorization to do home-study, if you demonstrate seriousness about it, instead of attending school. Surely home-study wouldn't require permission from a psychiatrist.

Home-study could use the school's books, &/or curriculum-requirements.

I mean, they have provisions now for "home-schooling", in which your parents teach you. So why not home-study in which you study on your own, or with some lesser amount of help from parents, and mostly on your own.

Michael829