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Asked out by guy, dating advice?

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teksla
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25 Sep 2017, 12:22 pm

Hello.

Whilst sitting on my windowsill, with the window open and my legs dangling out (it is safe: it would be very difficult to fall and even if i did, it wouldn't be too bad because i live on the first floor) a random guy (I'm pretty sure he is about my age, perhaps a bit younger or a bit older) walked past. When he walked past he looked at me. Before turning the corner he turned back, walked back to me and asked me if id like to get some coffee with him some time. I said sure. We exchanged numbers. Since he was the one who asked me out, he is supposed to send the first text, correct?

Assuming that he will text me, is there something i should keep in mind?

I don't know if he was nervous, but his body language seemed (a bit) autistic to me. He seems like a very cute guy.

This is the first time a stranger has asked me out. It felt quite exciting.


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Voxish
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25 Sep 2017, 1:27 pm

Wow good for you, exciting eh? Ok, top advice, don't give him your life story on your first night. It's ok to keep some stuff back for later.

You don't need to be too honest either. I not saying lie to him, he just doesn't need to know your hard and fast opinions about everything.

Ask him about himself, show you are interested in what he has to say. Silence is ok, you don't need to talk all the time to fill in the gaps

Just my take on classic aspie mistakes

Good luck and have fun

Oh, and don't do anything you are not totally comfortable with


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Chichikov
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25 Sep 2017, 1:50 pm

Voxish wrote:
Wow good for you, exciting eh? Ok, top advice, don't give him your life story on your first night. It's ok to keep some stuff back for later.

You don't need to be too honest either. I not saying lie to him, he just doesn't need to know your hard and fast opinions about everything.

Ask him about himself, show you are interested in what he has to say. Silence is ok, you don't need to talk all the time to fill in the gaps

Just my take on classic aspie mistakes

Good luck and have fun

Oh, and don't do anything you are not totally comfortable with

Slow down :) I'd pretty much put it out of mind until they actually do text.



ToughDiamond
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25 Sep 2017, 6:06 pm

teksla wrote:
Assuming that he will text me, is there something i should keep in mind?

It's probably fine, but I'd recommend keeping it in mind that you don't know him, so you might want to take a pepper spray and know how to use it, let somebody know where you're going, and avoid being alone with him till you know him better. Just precautionary. He won't mind if he's a benign man. I expect he will get in touch unless he's successfully approaching other women and happens to find one with better legs or something, and even if he does, he might change his mind later and contact you. I hope he does, and I hope it works out well. It's brilliant to find a good partner. 8) 8)



AspieSingleDad
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26 Sep 2017, 7:38 am

teksla wrote:
Hello.

Whilst sitting on my windowsill, with the window open and my legs dangling out (it is safe: it would be very difficult to fall and even if i did, it wouldn't be too bad because i live on the first floor) a random guy (I'm pretty sure he is about my age, perhaps a bit younger or a bit older) walked past. When he walked past he looked at me. Before turning the corner he turned back, walked back to me and asked me if id like to get some coffee with him some time. I said sure. We exchanged numbers. Since he was the one who asked me out, he is supposed to send the first text, correct?

Assuming that he will text me, is there something i should keep in mind?

I don't know if he was nervous, but his body language seemed (a bit) autistic to me. He seems like a very cute guy.

This is the first time a stranger has asked me out. It felt quite exciting.


Yes, the customary thing to do would be to wait until he texts or calls you. Wish you the best of luck!



teksla
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26 Sep 2017, 7:56 am

We texted and will meet tomorrow. We will meet by my house. I'm not sure if we will take a wall, go for coffee, etc.
Im pretty excited either way.


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AspieSingleDad
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26 Sep 2017, 8:00 am

teksla wrote:
We texted and will meet tomorrow. We will meet by my house. I'm not sure if we will take a wall, go for coffee, etc.
Im pretty excited either way.


That depends on what he has in mind, and how well things go when you meet up. Just be yourself and let him take the lead as far as what you do. However, if you find you don't like him, you can make an excuse to not continue the date. Usually, in order to give him a hint you make the excuse lame, like you have to do laundry, etc.



teksla
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27 Sep 2017, 11:51 am

Update:

We met today. It was really nice. We had ice cream, took a walk and played mariokart.

We will meet again to eat lunch together, at pizza hut, tomorrow.


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ToughDiamond
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27 Sep 2017, 12:21 pm

Awesome 8)



teksla
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01 Oct 2017, 8:08 am

Update:

We have met three times (four if you count the first short "encounter"). We watched a few different things on Netflix. We had fun and ate good food (falafel pitas, yum).

I think he has some characteristics of autism/AS but i probably won't bring it up until later, if it seems appropriate.


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ToughDiamond
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02 Oct 2017, 6:56 pm

Better and better, so far. :D

AspieSingleDad wrote:
let him take the lead as far as what you do.

Why?



AspieSingleDad
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02 Oct 2017, 10:22 pm

Yay, good for you! I'm happy things are going well. :D