Being of two minds and internally conflicted!

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1)...The Question?

How does your "I feel" and "I think" effect
you? and.....When does it come full circle
to conclusion?

2)...Statements by Ghosthunter!

To begin my thoughts, I must say thankyou
folks at wrongplanet who may or may not
always agree with my views. I am of 2 minds.
A consciencious side!(Wheat), and A "let's get
the f**k out of here" side!(Frosting). I have
often exhibited my view in solid view and
may have stepped on you toes, so thanks
for listening, responding and understanding
me!
Or at least trying to.

Am I not being brave by not being bold?



I am scared! I can help others, but can I
help myself

I don't know how to feel and react! God and
Goddess give me courage in making this letting
go a positive experience! Bless-it-be!



3)...The Question Repeated!

How does your "I feel" and "I think" effect
you? and.....When does it come full circle
to conclusion?

I wish I could be there. I wish I could help with more than words on a computer screen. This strikes so close to home it frightens me.

Don't doubt your courage. You've come this far with very little help. That's enough to demonstrate your bravery, whatever you do now. Your heart already knows what needs to happen. It's not cowardice to give your "wheat side" a little time to understand and prepare to make the jump.

You know that advice must be good because you said it to me when you were in solid view. If you can help me, I believe you can help yourself.



Don't try to force yourself to feel a certain way, that only leads deeper into confusion. Even if you can't see anything else clearly, fear can give you the only clue you need to find the answer. Do the opposite of what it tells you. That's the best solution I've ever found to the times when my own two modes were screaming opposite things.



You've already seen some of my own answer to this. I can tell you more if it would help - should I?

I may be to young to completely understand your situation, or the question. But I'll take a whack at it anyways.

I'm not sure I understand the question, but I know in certain stressful periods a darker side of my mind awakens. You know, that sick, sadestic, vengeful, all around evil part of your mind that normally remains repressed. It goes ignored for the most part. But it's my own internal dialog and my own voice, tough to ignore. Then I'll end up having an internal argument with basically two different personalities trapped in my head: my usual concious self, and an all around evil version of myself usually hibernating in my sub-conscious until I'm really stressed. It's very rare I get stressed out that badly and this evil side of myself only arose for the first time about a year ago, but it's still scary to know what I'm capable of thinking. I don't know what this is called, but I've heard somewhere that split personalities can be a persons way of dealing with stress by dividing it between multiple sides of yourself, this is why I've called it internal split personality.

As for your situation, I don't completely understand it, so I'll just wait to see what other advice your given and use my context clue powers.

Thanks Pyraxis. The time is soon and I have found
that I have been drawn to on of my autism study
books. I read the first chapter that has exposed
some of my ghosts of "behaviours". I want to
leave here re-viewed, not carrying ghosts.

I also needing to consider the folks I will want
to visit on the leisurely part of this journey.
I have never had a real vacation for ages.
The last one was 4 days to Reno, and when
I returned I was laid off and spent 2.5 years
in the house of "pain and suffering". I am now
losing tolerance for San Francsico and Quizno's
and must make successful conclusions.

I hope to see John get his 2 week notice
by this Sunday. Thus I will have 2 weeks
rent paid by Quizno's, pickup my final
paycheck in July, and thus say goodbye to
San Francisco. I will also thank John for
outing me of my autism ignorance that came
after and during late "house of pain and
suffering". I have many chapters to go
in my book review.

I am also glad to have the folks at WrongPlanet
to travel with me through my computer. I would
of never of found you folks if it weren't for John
(Quizno's) and the "house of pain and suffering".

I want to spend at least 2 weeks for me and
no strings attached. I fought a good fight down
here in San Francisco and this warrior wants
some quality time, and it has been partially
found due to John from Quizno's and you folks
at WrongPlanet. Thanks! I hear a few more
chops at this tree coming!
 


And for that, I thankyou for this courage to
do so!




What kind of evil? Vengeful? Negative? thoughts?
come to this space.....And have you ever inacted
them before?




That is correct! What is your other "split" like?


And thanks for this stab! I hope to hear from you
about these thoughts!

Sincerely,
Ghosthunter

Recently I came to a rather bothering conclusion on the Iraq war.

I would rather not share it with anyone b/c it is truly extremist, but it bothers me a lot, even though I came to it as being probably (if my information is correct) as the only course of action left.

In my mind, I don't see any alternatives. In my heart, I don't want to believe that it is what I want to happen, but I do.

I hope I am wrong, but I know that it is, as things stand with me, the only way I see out. This bothers me.

Most of the time I work off of I think. Rarely however I have the opportunity to remark what I feel. Occasionally I feel has some impact on the conclusion but most of the time it is all I think. I specifically think about why i feel what i feel and build what i think to incorporate i feel to make sense. So I'm rarely ever conflicted about what i feel versus what i think. But there are some issues which i can't work I feel into I think, so occasionally it remains.

<Is a multiboot system>

I have various 'modes' of being. There's:

A core me, that binds the rest together with an underlying framework with such things as morals, self-control and general cognitive facilities.


A manic me, who's very physically energetic, frenetic and fun.

A mischevous me; like the manic me, but more mentally than physically energetic and likes to toy with people.

There's a focused, physical me that comes out when I exercise and is quite grumpy.

My favourite me; a completely (or very close) emotionless me that likes to dream of amazing things, is artistic, creative and feels a sense of connection to the universe.

My least favourite me; an anxious, disturbed, angry me that's overwhelmed by traumatic memories and is brought out by exposure, direct or otherwise, to injustice.

A me that I find somewhat worrying; extremely violent, sadistic and vengeful, feels very powerful physically, but is kept under control by my core me, which hasn't ever lost control so far, despite extreme external provocation. It simmers beneath the surface and taints my thoughts, but not my actions.

Depressed me; a generally crappy state of being that's been my primary state for the past year and has been pretty common before that too.

The usual me already enjoys messing with peoples minds and is fairly hateful of society in general. The evil me is basically a terrorist trapped in my head, kill this, say that, blow that up. It's like one of those voices in your head that people joke about people having. I think it's a repressed set of beliefs and immoral thinking manifested in a split persona. I'm the kind of person who avoids cursing, excessive violence, and goes to church (etc.). I always have the urge to steal, lie, cheat, etc., but I never give into it. The split me is arrogant, crude, womanizing, and much more sadistic than the usual me. Good thing it usually remains repressed. If it ever took over, I'd probably get arrested.

I try not to separate out the Logic and the Emotion since emotion is active in the human brain at all times and is even required to have a thought. Logic cannot be separated from emotion. But I suppose it is generally a lesser emotion when I am feeling overly logical. But I do not prefer to discern the two just because they FEEL different. [/rambling]

I am mostly from the I think philosophy. Such as what I think about the Iraq War etc.