I just don't want to interact.

Post Reply New Topic

People keep suggesting AS social groups, psychotherapy groups, going on outings with people etc. And they're suggesting I join clubs at uni and try to actually speak to the other students at uni.

Is it bad that I just want to stay in my bedroom all day and not talk to people?

How do I explain my extreme need for solitude to them (NTs)?

I find social interaction extremely stressful.

Just taking to someone for 20 minutes necessitates a rest afterwards.

I don't like to interact, either. I belong to the Asperger's meetup group in Seattle but have never been to a meeting. I probably should because I'm so isolated. This is where I wish I didn't have AvPD. It keeps me at bay even though I know deep in my heart interaction is good for me.

Yep.



By saying what you said next.



I know the feeling.

Isolation isn't healthy, tho'. The thing is, we're like someone who needs sunlight (everyone does), but have skin that's hyper sensitive to it.

It's a tightrope walk.

You've got to have what you need, but be extremely careful about not overdoing it.

You're going to have to accept the fact that in getting something you need, you're going to be left in need of down time.

Get the down time too.

Balance.

That's what we need, and it's not easy to achieve.

I'll try to interact a bit but tbh I don't mind isolation. I quite like it in fact.

Nope - that is how you are wired



"I prefer my own company"



Same here exactly. A little bit of social interaction goes a long ways with me.
Some people have a very small social apatite.
You can only take so much before you are stuffed and its painful.

Is it just with people that you don't want to interact or animals too?

Thanks Ezra. I'm glad that I am not messed up.

In an earlier post I wrote about an episode of the TV show The Middle. In it, both the father and one of the sons has AS symptoms. At the urging of the woman who plays the wife they both tried to act more social and less reclusive. Needless to say they failed miserably. The gist of what they learned is that it was best to just be themselves even if it meant they were reclusive and enjoyed solitude. I also think this message is applicable to you as well

I understand. I barely leave my house and if I do it is almost never to socialize. I left my house twice so far this year.

I don't think it's wrong or weird that you prefer to be on your own, I'm the same. I read this quote recently in a book and found it comforting but also true: "A sensible man ought to find sufficient company in himself."
Some people will say things like: I used to be like that too but you just gotta put yourself 'out there'.
and I really hate when they do because that makes it clear they don't understand what I mean; I don't want to be 'out there' with others. Saying 'Hi' to my neighbours is more than enough social interaction for me.

I'm the same exact way. My parents continue to say "you should go to church to meet people" or "you should come with us when we're invited somewhere". But the thing is, is I'm not interested at all. It feels forced and pressured. I just want to do what I want to do with no pressure. If I meet someone in the process of me going out and about for errands or something, then that's cool and all. But I will not force myself to go out JUST TO meet people, because if I don't make a friend, I feel bad about myself. The 2 friends I have right now were people I wasn't anticipating on meeting. It was all by accident and that's the way I like it. It's the same reason why I can't do dating websites, they add too much pressure to find a relationship and I feel bad about myself when I don't find someone.

But I also have to add on, that the two friends I have right now are people I prefer to not see regularly. I never feel up to socializing. I can only take socializing for like an hour or two and that's it. But sometimes people overstay their welcome and I start to get anxious. So I usually have to plan something that I know I can escape from after a short period of time, like going out to eat with them.

I know that feel.

I only talk to the people in this house because it's forced upon me and is now some kind of obligation. Needless to say I hide in my bedroom as much as I can now.

i would love to interact and have friends but people just seem to avoid me, so i get kinda self conscious about myself. i do talk to a lot of other aspergers and autistic teens in my area and that helps a lot, i dont need to try with them and i dont have to worry because were all the same.

It is not "bad." You are not an NT. It would probably be "bad" by their standards, but for an autistic person it's normal.

Dick Proenneke is like the most famous recluse of all time.
He built a small log cabin in the Alaska wilderness and lived there
by himself for like 30 years. Most everyone seems to celebrate his life.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYJKd0rkKss
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Proenneke