Helping them help.

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Is there something that someone has figured out to say to an NT or (mostly nt) that would help them help me? If someone says something like "I don't want to see you do that" for example, my response is automatically going to be "Then don't look". Very specific. And then maybe a few hours or days later, I'll go back and try to explain to them that I just simply didn't understand what they meant and now I do and I'll try to apologize and explain because I usually ended up p****ng them off. I guess they think I'm "not understanding" on purpose just to get my way or something. Except that when I do this, (try to explain) I get one or several responses:

A weird look, and then they walk away.
"It doesn't matter" and then a walk away.
They politely listen.....then walk away.
They try to explain that I don't have to explain...
It doesn't help matters if I try to tell them I absolutely do not understand what they are talking about.....

But I'm only trying to explain in the first place, because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings (because I care about the relationship, whatever it may be), and because I'll obsess over what happened to the point that I'm soooo utterly confused, and I usually can't remember what caused the misunderstanding in the first place. And because I'm just trying to help them to help me *sniffle*

I don't just do this with random people..like I said, its because I care and I feel its necessary. If it was someone working the mcdees drive-thru, I would just ignore it/get over it. But it might be with certain family members that I don't get much interaction with, or with my co-workers. It's especially frustrating and confusing when it's someone I'm "seeing"..(dating) or involved with in other terms of that matter (I"m not sure if that last bit will make sense).

But I do try...

If it's family, my sister will help me translate (give me words to use), and she almost always tells me 100% correctly what was going on with the other person. But I can't rely on her all the time...She's trying to finish her last year of school, while I've been out a year.

Short of telling these people that I'm high functioning autistic and giving them websites to look it up on and having them learn about it (which would take too much time even if I wasn't usually trying to act normal) it's inconvenient.

Soooo.... I was just wondering if anyones' figured out a phrase to use for those certain people or something to say that would help. Or a website.

And sorry if this irritates anyone...I'm sure the subject has been picked over and over and over.....but I can't find any specifics on the site....