Can't cope with any stress

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Hello, I wanted to talk about a major issue I have that I have finally decided that I want to try and get professional help with but would like to know if anyone else has this issue too and whether it's because of my AS or a different underlying problem.

Every day Im at work and home I watch people and notice that everyone I know deals with stress and stressful situations to different degrees on a daily basis, for example when a colleague accidentally drove a customers car into the door of our workshop, returning to your car to find police giving you a parking fine, being stuck in traffic jams and so on but The thing is, when others get stressed they seem to get over it and brush it off, then continue their day like nothing happened. But for me, stress has been making my life a misery ever since I was a kid. I get told I make a big deal out of everything. if you've ever heard the phrase 'making a mountain out of a molehill', this applies to me. Everything stresses me out to breaking point no matter how small it is and how easy the problem is to solve. Stupid things like being out and realizing I have a hole in my sock, getting phone calls from unknown phone numbers, going in supermarkets and busy places, spilling a drink on my floor, visiting family, discovering I've ran out of deodorant for my after work shower routine. All these things stress me out to the Max and I become overwhelmed. As each situation stresses me out I don't just move on and forget, I carry the stress with me from situation to situation, my head filled with negative thoughts from the last stressful situation, building up until I can't take any more.

When I reach breaking point, I go into this weird state, I don't know if it's a meltdown or a shutdown but I really don't want to talk to anyone, people try talk to me and I get extremely frustrated, I will respond but it takes a lot of effort and makes me very frustrated, I want to be left alone in quiet, I sit very still and stiff, just stare into space. My head will be in a huge mess, I can't think straight. Eventually I'll retreat to my room and collapse on the floor or corner, I will stay still like a robot just staring into air. Sometimes I feel I need to break something. I will punch the wall, get suicidal thought's, hit my head off the wall and have many scars where I have injured myself intentionally to make myself feel better. I have no control over my actions. And after I will recover in maybe a couple of hours but be a bit quiet for the rest of the day.

What makes it even harder is when people see me act like this and see the scars I have, and they want to know why i did it but I can't explain it to them because the issues that got me into that state were so small and stupid I'd be laughed at so everyone is always in shock when they see me transform from my chilled out self to that state. Because I can't tell them when things are bothering me. Every small problem to most others is just a small problem, but to me it feels like the end of the world. I got a email not long ago to say my car insurance was being cancelled, all I had to do was call the company and resolve the problem, easy and simple but as I said it felt like the end of the world and I was stressing over nothing.

Anyone else like this?

I get like this with emotional stress.
We don't argue any more, but in the early years with my current partner, the tiniest comment or argument would result in an instant massive shock to my system. It would feel like I was dropped into ice-cold water and I would completely shut down, barely able to speak.
I've since found out that it's a fight-or-flight response which brings an enormous adrenaline hit.
I don't know why it happens, but it does, and when it does, it's so fast, I have no defense. It's not happened in a while though, as we just avoid arguments these days.

As for regular stress, I can control it somewhat. I have a very rational thought process, and can usually think my way out of internal stress if it creeps in slowly. If something happens fast, I do struggle, but it never manifests itself as the instant meltdown that I described above. In these situations, I have to take a few moments of alone time while I think it through.

Yes, get this constantly. Difficult to cope, but just try living from day to day. If, at the end of the day, nothing disastrous has happened to you, then just move onto the next day

Try to tell yourself "if something bad happens, then I'll just have to deal with the consequences" rather than stressing about whether something bad is going to happen or not because of a particular situation.

Hope some of this makes sense.

This happens to me on a regular basis. And this is the ONLY thing that I envy about NTs is their ability to handle unpredictable situations like you mentioned above. Spilling coffee, dropping something made of glass, or for me at work, when a pallet of plastic jars full of gelatin for restaurants falls all over the place on the warehouse floor.

When that happens I act almost exactly like Dustin Hoffman's character in the movie Rain Man. I pace back and forth frantically, unsure of what to do or say, my mind is absolutely breaking at the seems, hitting myself, running myself down in my mind for being so stupid, sweating profusely and experiencing sheer panic.

The worst is when my co-workers actually see me do this. Then even more terror fills me.

_________________
*** High Functioning Autism - Asperger's Syndrome ***

ADHD, OCD, and PTSD.

Keep calm and stim away.

I think what you described as stress about the other people is not stress. Stress is when you reach a point of "being out of resources", such as (using an autism example) sensory overload or (using an NT version) having homework due and there being no possible way to get it done, or using an adults view - being late on rent and not having money.

The people you talk about are not stressed. They simply have a bad situation, but are able to deal with it. They have not "run out of resources".

If you feel stress, it is because you do cannot find a way to deal with a situation. Also btw, you may want to look deeper - you may have a mental processing function in which you cannot keep up and you are aware of this and this awareness creates the feeling of stress.

I can't handle stress either but I don't get stress out from the stuff you described. I also notice other normies seem to handle stress better than me and can still function. People will say this is stressful and hard and yet they still seem fine and handling it well so where is the stress? I wonder if stress feels different for NTs than what I am feeling?

I know stress puts psychical affects on some people or have health issues from it.

I used to get stressed out more like when I couldn't find something or if I thought I lost something or couldn't find my parents somewhere. But I learned to not get so stressed out. I learned once I learn to deal with something, the stress goes away and the anxiety.