Had my first meeting with a psychologist today

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I went to the only place in my city that I could find that does ASD evaluations for adults and not just children. I still have my doubts about whether I'm really on the spectrum, but whether I am or not, I do need help for anxiety and this place does offer services for that even to people who aren't on the spectrum. So today was just a consultation for the head psychologist (who again, specializes in ASD, but they also have others who can diagnose other things like ADD, and again, therapists who can work with anyone on anxiety issues). The psychologist was very nice and listened to everything I said. She asked me a bit about my childhood and about what kind of difficulties I feel like I'm having. In the end, we both agreed that right now, getting a diagnosis isn't necessarily the most important thing, because I'm set to start student teaching in January and I need help with my anxiety ASAP if I want to have any chance of being able to cope. Plus, there is a pretty long waiting list for the ASD evaluation. She wouldn't have been able to get me scheduled for that until February. She was able to get me in with the therapist this Thursday. She didn't actually say she thinks I have ASD, but she did say that if I decide I want to do the evaluation at any point, she will schedule one for me, so I suppose that means she didn't rule it out based on our conversation and her observations of me. She also explained how it tends to present itself differently and goes unnoticed more often in females (which of course is what I have read). I do feel pretty good because she was so nice and it got easier to talk to her after awhile, and I am glad I got in with the therapist so quickly. I'm still just wondering if I did the right thing by going somewhere where I might get an ASD evaluation. Sometimes I feel like I really do have ASD and other times I doubt it and wonder if it's all in my head. Especially any time I talk to my parents (my mother in particular). They still have no idea that I've suspected I possibly have ASD. They just know I'm getting help for anxiety and I have told them a bit about the social difficulties I feel like I'm having. But my mom always thinks I'm just being too hard on myself and that I need to have more confidence in myself. She thinks I've always been "fine" with people. She thinks some of the other difficulties I've talked about are more "normal" than I think. So again, I really start to doubt things and wonder if she's right and if I'm crazy for thinking I could have ASD. I know she'd never believe it. If I did get the evaluation, the psychologist would want my mom to fill out a questionnaire about my childhood. So I definitely couldn't hide it from her, and I wouldn't feel right about hiding it anyway. I still live with my parents and they may have to help me pay for the therapy sessions, so I don't feel right not being 100% honest with them. Again, right now I haven't said anything to my parents about the whole ASD thing since I didn't commit to the evaluation. And I did tell the psychologist about my fears of telling them, so she said maybe that's something else the therapist and I can talk about. And that again, she'll schedule the evaluation if I decide I want to do it. So I guess part of me feels a lot better after today, and part of me still feels so nervous and terrified.

I am glad you are satisfied with your clinicion. She seems to listen and treat you based on your priorities.