I had a meltdown at the staff party.

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Like i said i would.

There was a christmas staff party and it was mandatory or you wouldnt get a bonus. We had to close 4 hours early which i really didnt like. I wouldnt have mind closing early and going im immidiantly home but going on a party bus with weird lazer lights didnt help and i started crying. I couldnt really talk and everyone thought i was crying because i was cold but one of my coworkers spoke up for me and everyone was very apologetic. I couldnt stay for bowling just for dinner.

I always feel bad about things like this but im glad i had a phone to get my dad to pick me up.

This is more of a story than a question.maybe someone can relate and tell me how you delt with the situation like this.

I am sorry that sounds horrible . A party bus with lasers, that would have had me completely freaking out too. I hate any situation I feel I can't escape and I have a big issue with flashing lights unless I have had quite a bit to drink.

I have had quite a few instances at work that have come very close to a meltdown and I normally end up escaping to the bathroom to freakout and cry until I think I can face things again. I used to like the disabled bathroom at work, big enough for me to sit down in and rock lol.

We went once to a photo studio during a work day to take photos and they wanted me to get a later train and I had to finish work early and I HATE cameras. I have no idea how to 'smile naturally'. They told us to bring in a prop, so I bought in a teddy bear and in the end I was curled up on a sofa in the corner refusing to do photos largely refusing to speak and trying not to cry and scream. It was horrible. In the end once they left me alone I managed to get myself together enough to do a photo or 2 but I left as soon as I could and got my normal train.

Are your employers aware that you are autistic? I ask because making your bonus dependent on attending this social event could be seen as disability discrimination, and removing the link between the two would be a "reasonable adjustment", given your circumstances (presumably your managers would have been present and could see for themselves the distress that it caused you.)

I'm glad to hear that you have an understanding and supportive co-worker, and there is no reason that you should feel bad for reactions which your "brain wiring" make impossible to control.

I can relate. My staff party was last Friday, and I didn't have a meltdown, but I did wander off, get lost, and almost have the cops called out to come find me.

It was loud, bright, and crowded, and I was getting overwhelmed, so I got up and slipped away to take a walk outside. I didn't bother to bring my phone or tablet with me since I thought I was just going to go out and come back again. Outside, I was surrounded by buildings and traffic, but spotted a field maybe a quarter to half a mile away. I went towards it, and once I got there, I found it had a river running through it. I love watching running water, so I followed the river for a ways, and sat on the bank to watch it for a while. When I was ready to head back though, I suddenly discovered I couldn't remember which direction I had come from; other buildings were obstructing my view of the building I had left. I started walking in the hope that I would come across something familiar, and ended up traipsing around town for a good forty-five minutes before finally finding my way back to the parking lot. The two friends/support people I work alongside, along with my supervisor, were freaking out, and when they'd finished hugging me and telling me how scared they'd been, they told me they had just gotten off the phone with the cops, who they'd been calling out to come and find me.

My friend drove me home, and I was nonverbal for a while. I really freaked myself out, and felt like an idiot to boot. So, not quite a meltdown, but I do feel your pain concerning office holiday parties, ZombieBride.

Exactly.

I can't recommend what I use to do in near-meltdown mode (clenching my teeth to the point I cracked a filling and another tooth). But, if an employer knows about an employee's autism, this might be a good way to have the human resources staff share a simple description of the federal ADA accommodation requirements to middle and senior staffers. This way, not every employee needs to learn about autism (though that would eventually happen as people talk), but the decision-makers would be expected to monitor all corporate activities for accommodating inclusion.

Most of my employment years were spent as a nurse and, like most professions, we had holiday parties. Thankfully, I never went to one. Not one. Not a Thanksgiving or Christmas or New Year's Party. Just didn't happen. I always volunteered to work on the day of the party which, of course, the supervisors agreed to since we would be short of staff.

Me at a staff party = recipe for disaster.

Think of it this way:

To be even in the position to go to a "staff party" indicates great progress on your part.

Congratulations.

I'm really glad the people on your job understood you, and were sympathetic to you.

I thought you worked at a gas station or small convenience store. Seems kind of odd that a place like that would have a staff party.

I do. and actually 3 members of staff were under age but drank anyways!

the thing is, this is technically a Family business, my cousin runs it and all my coworkers are either my cousins or are dating my cousins

its a weird situation.

Thank you! honestly never thought id ever get a job!