How Do I Get My Parents To Understand My Autism?

Post Reply New Topic

I want my parents to understand that I'm different from them in multiple ways, since I have autism. They often speak rudely to me when I'm having difficulties, and, when I call them out, they tell me that they aren't (even though I know that they ARE talking to me rudely), and then follow that up by saying that I think everything they say is rude. Nope, its not what they are saying, its the way that they are saying it is what I think is rude. When I try to tell them its their tone, and I have heard them speak in a way calmer tone, they say that its their normal tone of voice. Nope. I definetily heard them speak in a much calmer tone, and that isn't that calm tone. Whenever they talk to me in that way, it gives me even MORE anxiety than I am already experiencing. Are they trying to give me an anxiety attack? I hope not. I just don't want them to talk to me in that way, and not to scold me. They also say that I'm "trying to deflect the blame onto them" when I call them out, when I'm actually trying to get them to understand that it causes a ton of anxiety for me when they talk to me in that way. No. I'm not deflecting. They were deflecting. Now I straight up hate my parents because of this. How do I get them to understand how I feel and what I think? Do any of you guys know? Thank you.

You might try using recordings to compare messages. However, you are at the age when parents and children become mutually irritating, as a way to prepare for leaving the nest, which may be the real issue here. As for being understood, one can always try, but in my experience, success is unlikely, and the sages' advice is to seek only to understand others, and oneself.

People find it very obstrusive to be secretly recorded. There's a "1984" quality to it. It reminds us that we our privacy is not valued.

Is that why public places always say on the phone "Your call may be recorded"? I thought they did that for laws because we have always about recording without consent so that is why I always hear check with your state laws first before you start recording anything. So public places do warnings now that things will be recorded or may be.

Yep. That's why.