Dealing With a***holes

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Forgive the title I'll edit it if people are offended, also mods can move it if it's in the wrong place.

The other day I was out playing frisbee with some classmates from college/uni. At one point the frisbee was coming my way but it was too high for me to catch so it landed next to two strangers - a guy and a girl, the girl had it in her hand. So I proceeded to attempt to get it back but no, that wasn't going to happen. I simply said please, then she asked for an apology so I said I'm sorry but again that wasn't good enough she wanted more sincerity she wanted me to effectively say "I'm very very sorry that I have ruined your night can I please have the frisbee back?"

Things like this completely throw me because a)I'm not very assertive, b) no way in hell was I going to let this little wagon humiliate me in front of maybe 50+ people and c) I freeze quite easily, I pretty much blanked her when she started making her demands. So in the end when she was waving it around I grabbed it firmly and yanked if from her hands and went back to the game. Now, at no point did I start mouthing off or swearing at her, tempting as it was it probably wouldn't have gotten me anywhere plus the guy who was with her was probably her boyfriend so chances are I could have gotten a kicking. It was tempting to say something like "so, is this how you get your kicks?" but I didn't.

Just curious as to how others might handle stuff like this, I don't feel it's trivial as I think my AS tends to make me screw up in these somewhat confrontational situations. To be honest when stuff like this happens it makes me want to avoid situations like this in the future, i.e. no frisbee.

Was talking to a classmate later who told me she had met that girl earlier and apparently she's a tart so that made me feel better.

Way to go! I think you did the right thing. That way, she just showed her self as she is (by the sound of it), you didn't dignify her actions with a response. Good for you, wish I handled things as well

Hey, thanks. She was a bit of a %^&*(, methinks even if I had a apologised profusely she would have asked for more.

if you think you would win a physical battle, threaten to kill them.
If not, walk away think no more of it and buy a new fisbee. This would probably be the best option anyway, since you can't trust violence.

Er, no. That first option is not wise. It wasn't my frisbee to loose.

Yawn.

If the girl was getting stupid and unreasonable I would have said something like "I will apologise if youi drop 5 kgs of your arse" or something similar, and if her boyfriend arced up I would have shaped up to him whilst asking if it was worth a fight over a frisbee. Do take into account that I have been in some stupid fights over such matters and the trade off for dignity is often a lot of pointless superficial wounds from fighting. The benefit is people will think twice about subjecting themselves to the situation if they think they can avoid it, which in your case is the girl not opening her smart mouth next time and flicking it back in your general vicinity rather than risking aggravation

That is exactly the sort of mundane and trivial situation in which an aspie is in trouble. People do strange things all the time. They do strange things to each other. But when these strange things happen to one of us, that poor aspie is left in a situation of hostility and with mouth agape. . ."What is going on?"

I have been caught in strange situations such as these so any times. They do not end at adulthood. And since I do not read the non verbal ques, since I do not think fluently in emotion, I am lost every time.

Man! And it was only a frisbee for chrissakes!

You did the right thing.
Don't let idiots like this mess around with you.
It's like when i was a kid and the ball accidentally fell into some yard.
You'd get people who were pissed of and sometimes wouldn't even return the ball.
If i met those same a**holes now i'd beat the sh* out of them for being so rude.
Now when a kid lands his ball in my yard what do i do ?
I give the ball and i stay friendly.
There are way too many a**holes in this world.

I would have walked off, left the frisbee, explained it to the person you borrowed the frisbee from, then took them to a store to pick out a new one.

I've lost many MANY things in situations like that. I guess I always figure if they want it bad enough to take it from someone and cause a scene that makes them look like a wench in front of everyone, so be it. Or, there have been a few occasions where I just say "fine, whatever" and walk off, then later the person brings it to me because they didn't get the reaction out of me they wanted.