Everyone Claims Their Kids/Grandkids are Gifted

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HistoryGal
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09 Jan 2018, 3:42 pm

You ever wonder how almost everyone can claim to be gifted? It's amazing how nobody is ever saying their kids are average. I just nod and smile when yet another person makes that claim.



MissChess
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09 Jan 2018, 5:25 pm

People are biased on this, for sure. Claiming your own children/grandchildren are gifted is just one or two steps away from claiming the same status for yourself, so it's a way to brag without out-and-out bragging.

The definition of "average intelligence" means 50% of us have to be below it - but yeah, you're not going to hear a lot of parents claiming their spawn are in that bucket.


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HistoryGal
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09 Jan 2018, 5:30 pm

One time at a social gathering where someone made that claim, I said "everyone thinks their kids are special. It's what keeps us going through the rough patches. "



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09 Jan 2018, 5:47 pm

Hahahaha, right? If it keeps us from eating our own young, I suppose it's a clear evolutionary advantage. ;)


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HistoryGal
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09 Jan 2018, 5:55 pm

Like you said too, it's bragging once or twice removed. Generally I don't add anything or make any comments. Sometimes it's fun to just let the conversation die an awkward death.



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09 Jan 2018, 5:57 pm

They probably mean their kid is advanced. Not the same as being gifted. Just because your kid knows their math before their classmates doesn't make them gifted or if they are reading at a 3rd grade level in 1st grade.

My mom will claim I am very smart and claim I was reading at college level in 4th grade but I was actually reading kid books still. She even called me gifted too and I realize now I am not gifted.


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HistoryGal
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09 Jan 2018, 6:02 pm

These people actually mean gifted. LOL parents almost always exaggerate.



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09 Jan 2018, 8:03 pm

I've discovered more than I've been gifted. Figuring out life is the prize.


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Dear_one
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09 Jan 2018, 9:22 pm

People who don't do this are diagnosed with "depressive realism." The optimists are frequently wrong, but when a rare opportunity happens along, they are primed to grab it while the others are still evaluating it.
Another factor is that we all are gifted with superiority in at least some small detail, and it is better to try to develop those strengths than to focus on bringing everything up to average.



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09 Jan 2018, 9:27 pm

I get tired of hearing that from people. Half of the time, these parents and grandparents are talking out of their behinds. People are also too quick to stick their kids on gifted or advanced classes. Most of the time their kids can't even handle the curriculum in those kinds of classes and get poor grades. People want something to brag about to their friends, coworkers, and family members.



League_Girl
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09 Jan 2018, 9:43 pm

HistoryGal wrote:
These people actually mean gifted. LOL parents almost always exaggerate.



I just think they think their kids are gifted because they are advanced. Same as how people assume everyone is aspie who is very smart or quirky and a loner or how every child predator is a pedophile or every killer is a psychopath and every bully.


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QuantumChemist
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09 Jan 2018, 10:08 pm

Being classified as "gifted" can have a definite down side:

I was tested around third grade and was put in the highly/exceptional gifted category. My classmates did not treat me any differently, they just knew that I was bright. I understood certain topics better than the teachers did. There were times in which I was allowed to work on special projects while they worked on their studies. I was given access to pick out books that were high school level and above in science topics that I enjoyed researching on. Albert Einstein's work on The Special Theory of Relativity was one of my special topics that I concentrated on. Life was good, but alas it did not last...

All of that changed when I moved to a new state and a school full of bullies. When I was tested there, the results were leaked over the entire school and I was targeted for being so different. It became a curse for me to be so "special" compared to everyone else. They started calling me names to try to push me down and make me feel inferior. I was not allowed to compete in junior high science fairs while I was there as they felt that I had an unfair advantage over the other kids. I was not allowed to be on the quiz bowl team because they only wanted certain cool students to represent the school. There are more things that were done, but I do not want to talk about it.

For partial payback of this mistreatment, I took it out on the class in biology by literally destroying the exam curves (with the help of a competitive friend). I moved to a different town soon after. In many days of my youth, I wished I was of average intelligence so everyone would just leave me alone. I never asked to be smart. It has taken a long time for me to learn to accept what I am, not what others tell me what I am.

Being gifted does not make you a better or happier person. I would say quite the opposite is true from my own experiences.



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10 Jan 2018, 1:26 am

One of my brothers was very smart. He was advanced for his age. He understood more and understood private parts when he was 3. (what 3 year old does?) He also got embarrassed at that age too. He was also a early talker and in 2nd grade he could do 4th and 5th grade fractions and caught on with it fast. My brother also understood things quicker and learned quicker than other kids. But in 3rd grade, he had troubles in school because he was bored and to him it felt like the teachers talked too much because they wouldn't quit explaining school assignments or math problems and he already got it. The work was too easy for him so he was bored.

Then we moved and my brother got challenged. He got different school work like he was doing 5th grade math instead of 4th grade and he was given harder school work. He had a different education system than his peers and in high school he was allowed to take classes that was for Junior or seniors and he was allowed to take Driver's ed later than in his freshman year which was a mandatory class. He had a different system. Was he gifted or just very smart?

He is now a lawyer after being in law school for so many years and he finally graduated at age 28. He is working his first year as an attorney.


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Benjamin the Donkey
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10 Jan 2018, 6:40 am

I'm ruthlessly objective, and I can say the my kids, especially my older son, definitely are. But then their mother and I were also. Only older son and I are AS, though.

As others here have noted, it doesn't always feel like a "gift."


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renaeden
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10 Jan 2018, 7:11 am

My mum claimed at Christmas that her grandson is autistic (that part of the family wasn't there). She said I really need to observe him and then tell his mother (my twin sister). I said something along the lines of I don't have any kids so what would I know? My whole family has that attitude so who am I to give out advice?



HistoryGal
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10 Jan 2018, 7:45 am

I'm sure there are gifted people. This post isn't suggesting otherwise. People like to brag even if there is nothing noteworthy. They will create it.

I shared a similar experience to Quantum Chemist however I didn't get outside support. I didn't know about words like being gifted. I was a behavior problem in school. I did most of my learning after school at the library....hahaha when I wasn't restriction for acting up in school.