Loneliness making me enter a vicious circle -- advice?

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I seem to be entering a circle of utter insanity and I need help on how to break it.

I have four "friends" at university and I don't know whether they like me nor do I know how to understand what they think of me. I sometimes get a strong impression that they don't care about me. This results in me getting angry and aggressive in general. Nothing anyone notices (asides for family, I threaten them) but it does leave it's effects on me such as withdrawal from others and distrust. Also low confidence and self esteem that everyone can smell. As a result of this, socializing becomes harder and harder so I start getting distanced from others even though I want the exact opposite. That means that my social desires do not get met and I get more aggressive and that affects me which everyone notices making it harder again.

I'm an vicious circle. How the hell do I break it?

Feels like as soon as I'm alone I get aggressive. I have no family, been beaten and mistreated there my whole life, I still live with my family but never talk to anyone. Always been bullied by others so it might be why I get aggressive, I don't know.

How do I break the vicious circle? I tried social exposure. It works, but I still don't know if the person likes me and it's back to square one.

Oh gosh. I'm a 62 year old lady, you're a male university student, I may be the worst person in the world to be posting in response, but if any of these thoughts help, then it was worthwhile.

- the aggression you're feeling; it's legitimate; some of it may be fight or flight leftover from your family history, some of it is surely from frustration.
- can you exercise? I'm thinking something like T'ai Chi. It develops not only strength but massive amounts of control - of not only muscles, but self. And it is slow, so motor issues may be less of a problem with it. Plus, you can do it at home with a Youtube video or in a studio with others, and folks who are "into" this are usually a bit more mellow than many. (Edit for clarification: they don't start out mellow, necessarily. They get that way. Which I think is what you seek?)

May be totally off base, but if it does help, that would be great.

You should separate your irritation at your "friends" from your family.

Why would you threaten your family if you're upset with your "friends?"

And I don't mean you should threaten your "friends."

This is life: knowing whether people like you or not. Everybody goes through this.

You'll have less people to talk to should you let your aggressive aspects get the best of you.

You really got to just help yourself calm down. Otherwise, you will get nowhere fast.

I believe people, including myself, can help themselves calm down better than what they've been doing--without medication.

Kickboxing would be good. And, like others suggested, martial arts.

You really should tell yourself that separating from your friends is part of life, and that you'll see them again in the near future. That's just the way it is. You can't avoid this.

I used to feel sad when I separated from my father when he picked me up to go places. He was separated from my mother at the time. I used to have good times with my father. I felt a sense of deep sadness.

What I did, at those times, was read nonfiction books, read something like the Guinness Book of World Records. We had no Internet, then. Nowadays, there's so much on the Internet which you can read.