So I talked to my mum - it was unexpected

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When I told my mum I am possible aspie, I assumed she would dismiss it, say I was a good kid with no issues and just simply not understand. What I didn't expect, was my mum to come out and admit that she feels aspergers runs in the family and all of us has at least a little bit. And she said exactly what I have been thinking all this time - Where does it come from??? All I know of really, is my mum's side. I feel like I can see much of an aspie in my mum. But when I look at my nan and grandad... I just don't see it all! Maybe aspergers is able to skip generations?

My cousin was diagnosed with aspergers a few years ago. I hear the s**t he causes through my mum mostly. His functioning capabilities are almost non-existent. He struggles to get employment, he battles with drugs and alcohol abuse and has even been violent towards my aunt. It's like he's in complete denial about his diagnosis that he acts out and trying to ignore something that he has to face every day of his life. I'd love to be able to help him, but sometimes I feel like he's a lost cause.

Anyway, i'm pretty much very opposite. In fact I think I was only a really good kid because I took all my mums threats to be good when I was little absolutely literally. Like i would think to myself, I best behave because I seriously don't want to be dead!

Mum - "I'll kill you if you touch that!"
Me - *omg, she'll actually kill me*
Me - *prepares to stay at least 10 foot away from said item in question for fear of even accidentally touching it*

My mum has photographic memory. Number plates especially, she remembers them perfectly. Faces too. She see's a face once, briefly and then she can pick it out in a suspect line up if she had to! Whereas me, as bad as it is to admit that sometimes I can even struggle to recall what my mum's face looks like.

So... that's more evidence

It's also interesting to see three people who could be aspies and each one effected by it entirely differently.

I feel Aspergers had heritable features—but it is not automatically “passed down” from generations. It could be, at times. Other times, it pops up out of nowhere.

Yep. Autism is a vast Spectrum. It affects individuals very differently.

Your story has many commonalities with others. There’s a great sense of relatedness.

I dont think it's uncommon to have family members who have a touch of it. They may not have the disorder but have things that are associated with it. And some do have it too.

My dad was noted as having aspie-like traits... Super high I.Q. (why couldn't I have inherited that?) apparently not good with people, groups... preferred to stay at home and read the newspaper... To quote a line from Back to the Future, "It's a wonder I was ever born."

According to my families genealogy book, being "eccentric" has run in my family for over 450 years. Just listing the special interests and talents of my relatives for the last couple of generations would make an interesting read. From human flora and fauna encyclopedia, to perfect writing at 200 words per minute (grammar, spelling, and punctuation), to human calculator, and at least 30 more... People think my mother is psychic because she does the Sherlock Holmes thing a lot.
When we talk about autism and aspergers in my family, it is usually goes "Why do you need a label for being yourself?" or "Don't label your kids" or "Everyone knows, so don't talk about it."

wow, thats impressive you can go back that far!

My family name is well known. The genealogy book was published over one hundred years ago. Several of my relatives have a special interest in genealogy and republished it 20 years ago. They have updated the family tree and keep it current. I know what boat landed my ancestors, where all of the birth, death, and marriage records are. We participated against England in the war for independence. We were active in the underground railroad and fought on the union side of the civil war. Reading the descriptions of my ancestors was interesting.
Back to the subject:
It bothers me that my family knows about the spectrum, but we are not allowed to talk about it with each other. Each generation has to struggle to find their own way to fit in to society.

Maybe it's your turn to revolutionise your family's way of thinking?

I know it’s hard to be unable to discuss these issues with your family. My parents have known I’m autistic because I was diagnosed as a child, but they chose to ignore the label and never talk about it. They only revealed my diagnosis to me a year ago, because I asked. Now I know why I never fit in with anyone, but I’m still not comfortable talking about it with my family. They either think I was diagnosed by mistake or that my autism was cured by the discipline they used when they brought me up.

I’m glad the OP’s story was different. Having supportive parents is nor as usual as it should be.

I had most of my stimming behavior beat out of me as a child. I did not know about autism until I was in my 40s'. It explained so much about my entire life. Looking at my family, I don't understand why my family keeps it secret, unless they are embarrassed. They are supportive, but not helpful.

None of my family members come close to having any symptoms that I have had in my life, most are social animals and dismiss mine even tho they were the ones who took me to get assessed in the first place because i started walking before talking allegedly.

I just had this same talk with my mom last night. It took me about 2 weeks to work up the courage. I thought for sure I would get a negative reaction since she's always been so concerned about what other people think and as a result I hid my authentic self for 43 years. After she understood a bit more about autism and I explained the issues in my life - mimicry, sensory issues, social anxiety/misunderstandings/miscommunications, shutdowns, family/friend relationship struggles, work environment issues, cognitive issues - she immediately says, "Oh, that sounds just like me, and your sister!" She even wants to read up on it. I didn't have the heart to tell her that most stories she tells about me as a kid she could bring to a diagnostic interview. It's showing up all over my family now that I've ended the secrecy, and eventually the shame I hope. One of my nieces is having similar issues and as soon as I told my brother I suspected AS in myself he saw it in her too. I'm almost certain my mom's mom is on the spectrum too but she's over 90 and I don't think I'll mention it to her. Telling my family, I'm starting to feel free from this obediant persona I put on. I'm not sure what I'm left with. Whatever it is, it's going to be genuine and more in line with my values, not NT values.

its really a rarity to have parents like that. appreciate it.

my father was on the same boat, although post diagnoses there was a moment of denial where he would research cures. but the initial reaction to him hearing i was autistic from my psychologist was " that.... makes a lot of sense" and the rest of my family had the same reaction.