Iwonder how many on the spectrum can identify with this ?

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" Due to some of his personality traits he finds it hard to develop or sustain social relationships" . Not that I make much of an effort. It's hard to grasp the unwritten rules.

Hi firemonkey. I have to put in a lot of effort to develop and sustain social relationships. It's certainly harder for me than it is for most NTs I've known. But it's not due to personality traits, although a person unfamiliar with autism might misinterpret it that way. It's hard for me because I'm blind to the subtle cues people use to initiate relationships - I don't have the automatic radar that NTs use, I have to analyze every sentence and body language and facial expression (plus I have face blindness) and tone of voice, etc. And I don't have that intuitive feel for how often to contact an acquaintance or what is appropriate to share - I have to analyze the heck out of those things like a big logical decision tree. And it's hard for me to gauge when things progress from casual acquaintance to friend - I tend to be overly open and friendly. Being extra open and warm with people doesn't work well in big cities, it's a cultural things I guess. It works better in rural/smaller town areas like northern Colorado where I now live. But my challenges with social relationships are not really intentional or due to personality traits so much as it is that I'm neurologically wired differently. I wonder if that's what was meant by the diagnosis-type statement you quoted in your post...?

It's difficult to know what they mean other than in my case they tend to see everything through a mental illness diagnosis lens, irrespective of whether that makes sense or not. Apart from very occasional use of the A word no professional has explicitly suggested I'm on the spectrum . To clarify I'm diagnosed with a personality disorder namely paranoid PD. PDs are supposed to develop in late adolescence/early adulthood. The problem being that my problems with social interaction and forming friendships stretch back as far as I can remember , and were certainly not something that just occurred in my late teens. I have always been this way. The subsequent paranoia being a reaction to bullying and peer group rejection especially in my teens,but not exclusively, for being physically and socially awkward.
Then there's the issue that people on the spectrum undoubtedly have 'personality traits', as we all do, but what differentiates the personality traits of someone on the spectrum from someone who isn't?

asd "personality traits" brings up about 96000 google hits.

What I'd like to say to my mental health lot-" Listen you f*****g ignorant twats I've always been this way. It's not a product of late adolescence/early adulthood indicative of a personality disorder ".

I was diagnosed with autism when I was about 3, but I've also had times when my behavior has seemed to be driven by paranoia. In my own case it's a result of prolonged trauma and the complex PTSD that resulted. I had physical and sexual abuse by my parents, was locked in a small room for a year, as well had as exposure to just hair-raisingly scary experiences, was threatened with a pistol, etc. I used to have a security system with eight outdoor cameras, door alarms, etc. because I was really frightened of being attacked. My abusers were primarily my parents so I developed a fear of being watched or overheard saying something, which is a sort of paranoia. There was criminal activity on the part of my father and I feared the people he did "business" with would find and harm me. I mention all this because to someone who did not know I'm autistic and had prolonged serious trauma, it could have looked like a paranoid personality disorder. In my case I actually eventually informed authorities about the criminal behavior on the part of my father and his associates and the fear I then went through put me in a hospital for a week, even though it was decades after the fact. I had lived with the fear almost my entire life and some of the folks involved are still around, so it wasn't just an old fear - there was some actual risk. However, since doing that my fear has greatly lessened. I got rid of the security system and cameras. I gradually have enlarged the sphere of my activities, including taking classes at church, ushering there, and next month will help with the coffee and doughnuts offered to people between services. My fears would have prevented that in the past. I still have cPTSD, but the difference between that and a personality disorder producing paranoia is that the personality disorder doesn't go away from exposing and dealing with an original traumatic event. I was also bullied in school and can't read people due to autism and that leads to some paranoia-like tendencies, but those are fading too. I see the big difference between autism/trauma/PTSD and paranoid PD as how the conditions respond to treatment. I had to work for a long time in therapy and counseling on the trauma and processing and contextualizing it, but it finally paid off and then recovery is happening almost on its own accord. Paranoid PD would not respond in that way. Like you I had these conditions since pre-adolescence. And I'm not mentally ill - my fears were realistic not delusional. That's what knocked my socks right off - when I realized in therapy that it all was real and constituted a present risk. I have a great counselor who helps me process the traumatic memories. If I was diagnosed with a PD or was told I was delusional, I wouldn't have been able to work through it all and come out the other side and build a life meaningful to me. So I think an accurate diagnosis is pretty important. Also because of my autism I'm extremely sensitive to psych medications and I don't use them any more. If it were a PD, medication would probably be indicated.

my childhood shrinks couldn't agree if I was autistic or schizoid. I think i am both, with a generous helping of ADHD [inattentive subtype] and subtle brain damage/learning disability as a bonus. all of those guarantee that I was to end up a hermit as I am.

I am lucky to have maybe one or two friends at a time. I'm not real attentive and I find that it is a huge effort to maintain friendships as I dodge phone calls often. I rarely feel like talking. When I do feel like talking, I seem to annoy people. I keep quiet and to myself as a rule.