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rats_and_cats
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05 Mar 2018, 11:56 pm

When I came home last weekend and my brother and I were talking about a TV show we're watching together, he started flapping his hands and bouncing on his feet because he was excited about the new season. That's the same thing I do when I'm excited. My sister does the same thing, flapping her hands when her favorite song comes on the radio. My brother is neurotypical and my sister has dyslexia but not autism. Is there a reason they're doing this? I don't think they're mocking me. They've done this before when we were little as well.



elsapelsa
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06 Mar 2018, 1:42 am

I see this a bit. My aspie daughter is 8 and her little sister is 3 and most likely neurotypical. She sometimes copies her sister, it is a combination of wanting to be like her sister cause she loves her and just wanting to "feel" what it feels like to do the movements her sister does. If it bothers you I would try to talk to them but you know if they have grown up seeing if they might have internalised some of your stims over time by seeing you do them.


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y-pod
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06 Mar 2018, 4:20 am

My brother used to mimic my gestures sometimes. I was fine with that. It's a sign that he loves me and thought those were cute. He even videotaped some of my flapping. :)


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rats_and_cats
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06 Mar 2018, 11:47 am

Yeah I'm fine with them doing it, it just surprised me. I guess family members pick up on each other's habits. Mom walks around the entire house when she's on the phone and I've started doing the same thing.



LizzyS
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06 Mar 2018, 6:51 pm

Something I learned that really helps me to “blend in” is that NTs generally mimic a person’s body language to show they’re listening/ to show empathy/ group mentality (which comes from a need to blend with the herd for safety). If a person sees a behaviour often enough from a group they seek safety from, they often mimic it subconsciously to be part of the group. So if your family mimics your behaviour without thinking, it’s because they want to be part of your herd!

On a (long) side note, this really helped me when people thought I wasn’t listening, because I wasn’t making eye contact. Now, if someone is talking to me, I’ll drink my water within a few seconds of their drinking, cross my legs if they are, lean back if they are etc (as naturally as I can haha) and people think I’m an amazing listener... and this way I’m not forced to make eye contact all the time! It’s also a good way to see if they’re listening/ if they agree. Having coffee with someone and not sure you’re both on the same page? Take a sip of your drink and shift your body position. If the other person doesn’t mimic one of these actions they’re not engaged/ they’re bored/ irritated, and if they mimic both things that usual means they’re listening and they like what you say. It’s not foolproof, but I have a hard time working out when I’m boring people, and it’s a good way to find out without having to ask (bc sometimes people lie to save your feelings but honestly I just want an honest answer sigh)



Kiriae
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07 Mar 2018, 4:20 pm

This is how people learn body language. By mimicking how others express emotions etc. Every culture has their own body language/gestures (compare western culture to Japan) so it's not something you are born with. People just learned to do it by observing others around them. (Except for some basic body language such as natural smile or anger)
NTs pick it up easily. Aspies/Aunties need more time but also learn it eventually.
Your siblings are learning some body language from you because they spend a lot of time with you.