Do I or don’t I?

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Hi

I joined the forum to see if I can get a rough answer on whether I’m an aspie before I formally speak to a medical professional.

I’ve always known I was different from a very young age but as I’ve grown older I’ve wanted to know what it is about me. I thought a good first step would be to catalogue behaviour that others/my parents/my girlfriend think is unusual and see if they resonate or point towards an aspergers diagnosis.

I would say I generally say that I get on ok and it’s only those who really know me closely who see this side of me. Im quite good at hiding it from people I think will judge or mock.

Anyway here we go - some are current/some are old

- I find social situations difficult and feel overwhelmed by talking to more than one person or do something I.e read a menu and talk to someone at the same time. I drink a lot to compensate for uneasy/overwhelmed feeling
- Set up a list on my iPhone to remind me to do nice stuff for my girlfriend once a week as I’m worried I will forget if I don’t have a system
- Obsessive cataloguing of clothing/expenditure. Lots of detailed lists on my iPhone (approx 30)
- Nose picking (public when young, secret when older)
- Keeping an exact account of who owes what to who with my girlfriend i.e 07/03/2018 - £2.70 coffee. Not because I’m stingy. I just like it 100% accounted for
- Extreme aversion to mould/mildew. A mystery to me where it came from but to wash/shower in dirty bathrooms causes a lot of anxiety
- Lack of empathy but not 100%. I can still feel empathy but only those I’m close with
- Very poor long-term memory
- Hate speaking on the telephone - feels very pressurized. Prefer face-to-face communication even with girlfriend and mum
- Feel very stressed at idea of verbal confrontation/arguments unless with mum/dad/girlfriend
- Copy other peoples mannerisms/wording and have done since younger to seem more confident/arrogant/on the ball
- Obsessively cautious of getting marks on/staining or damaging clothes
- Regularly think people don’t like me or that I’m awkward. This is generally true as people don’t include me in stuff but I think I give off a leave me alone vibe
- I find it very difficult to look people directly in the face/eye contact. I feel like I don’t know what to do with my face or expression. If forcing eye contact, can seem intense and stare-y. Girlfriend told me I look like a serial killer when giving intense eye contact
- Struggle to Read and tend to overthink the text. Can’t finish a book with out 100% understanding all text/ideas. It can take me a year to finish a book
- People always tell me that they’re joking. I am often aware they’re joking but don’t respond in that way and generally make another point ignoring the joke
- I struggle to summarise things and give too much of a base of information before getting to the point
- I hate when people are being emotional or teary. It makes me uncomfortable/annoyed and makes me want to tell them to calm down
- Obsessive nail-biting when stressed
- Don’t like giving people a lift in my car in case they make it messy or dirty. Get extremely stressed when forced in to having to do this to seem polite
- Prefer animal interaction to humans
- Always been told that I’m smart but lack common sense from a kid to current age.

Any thoughts?

Kind regards,
T

It seems to me from what you have described about yourself, is that you are a 'normal' human being.
Normal is as Normal does.
I have many years experience in the field of Autism and I myself am Autistic; HFA.
There are many tests online that can give you a very good answer to weather or not you are Autistic.
Frankly, I love being Autistic as I have so many strengths.
Sure, I have weakness's but who in their right mind would focus on weakness's?

Psychopaths lack empathy. Aspies do not. It is not even in the diagnostic criteria.

Please, please, pretty please with sugar on top, stop propagating this myth.

I didn’t mean any offence. I came here for education on stuff like that. Appreciate any viewpoints

It wouldn't hurt to get assessed if you can afford it, or you don't mind waiting (NHS).

You have some obsessive-compulsive traits. I don't see all that much autism in what you say.

Then again, I'm not an expert.

Welcome to wrong planet. People on the autistic spectrum are diverse in what they present. If you want a rough answer to your question, take an online quiz.

http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

Regardless of the outcome, you are welcome here.

Possibly Autism related:
- Always been told that I’m smart but lack common sense from a kid to current age.
- Prefer animal interaction to humans
- I find social situations difficult and feel overwhelmed by talking to more than one person or do something I.e read a menu and talk to someone at the same time. I drink a lot to compensate for uneasy/overwhelmed feeling
- Obsessive cataloguing of clothing/expenditure. Lots of detailed lists on my iPhone (approx 30)
- I find it very difficult to look people directly in the face/eye contact. I feel like I don’t know what to do with my face or expression. If forcing eye contact, can seem intense and stare-y. Girlfriend told me I look like a serial killer when giving intense eye contact
- I struggle to summarise things and give too much of a base of information before getting to the point
- Obsessive nail-biting when stressed
- Very poor long-term memory
- Lack of empathy but not 100%. I can still feel empathy but only those I’m close with
- Regularly think people don’t like me or that I’m awkward. This is generally true as people don’t include me in stuff but I think I give off a leave me alone vibe
- Set up a list on my iPhone to remind me to do nice stuff for my girlfriend once a week as I’m worried I will forget if I don’t have a system
- Copy other peoples mannerisms/wording and have done since younger to seem more confident/arrogant/on the ball


most of what you listed are only traits and quirks and most i found could actually possibly be explained by Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Social Anxiety. im NOT a psychologist but it takes more than just having traits to have autism. i suggest researching a little more or finding a psychologist or psychiatrist.

autism is a diverse spectrum and can look like basically anything. i wish you luck

welcome to wrong planet.

Thank you very much for taking the time to go through my list and give me insights. I really appreciate it.

Most online tests I’ve tried put me on the spectrum but I feel like these tests can lend themselves to subconscious bias and many cannot be answered in black and white and require a more nuanced answer.

I agree that many of these crossover with OCD/Anxiety traits but I know a few are well known signs of AS.

I will try and speak to a professional at some stage. Thanks for all input

Regards
T

Anxiety is worse than autism. Autism isn't that bad, that's why people with anxiety want to be labeled autistic. High-functioning/possible savant sounds better than Parkinson's of the mind.

By lack of empathy, I think I understand what you mean. I'm an empathetic person.
I may not be very logical, but my logical side tells me people are not very nice and don't deserve pity. I think it's philosophy (misanthropic?) Like it's my conscious attitude.
And my illogical self feels for people. I cannot really control it. When someone gets hurt, it feels uncomfortable.
Are you like this?
I think most people are like this.

Yes, I understand. For example, I’m very worried about population growth, overconsumption, species die-off etc. For this reason I always think why would we want to cure cancer? It’s like the only remaining thing keeping the human population size in check which is my logical side at work so I find it really hard to empathise with the general consensus of ‘we must cure cancer’ but then if one of my parents got cancer, I’m sure this would override my logical side. So if I hear of someone who’s lost a loved one, I say ‘oh that’s terrible. I’m really sorry’ but there is always a voice in my head saying ‘unfortunately people have to die or we’re all f****d’. It sounds cruel

I don’t want to have it and I wouldn’t have any pride if I had aspergers over say generalised anxiety. We don’t choose the way our brains are wired. There’s no accomplishment to any of this.

Also surely anxiety is inexorably locked to AS anyway. Sufferers are operating in a society which is not made for them so anxiety is surely something we all deal with?

I don't have anxiety. That s**t went away a long time ago.

I've noticed that I am anxious only when I can still do something about a situation. If I feel nothing or sadness, then it is usually too late to do anything about the situation.

Bases on the list you've provided, I see some Aspie traits, but all people have some Aspie traits without being on the spectrum. I think it's possible though. If online tests are indicating the possibility, you might want to pursue an official assessment if getting an official diagnosis will provide you with some closure. What I found about myself was I had way more Aspie traits than I realized. If you can, you should try to observe yourself impartially and compare yourself to the list of autistic traits i.e. sensitivity to sensory information, etc. and see if you can discover things out about yourself. If you find that there's no additional traits, than I'd say you aren't Aspie. But, you won't know until you really explore further.