I hate most men

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I'm a 31 year old man and whatever I do, men ruin it for me. The ones looking for a fight, the ones desperate to prove their masculinity, they're just everywhere.

I have gone to several social groups and classes over the past year trying to make friends and I can cope until some big ego man starts puffing his chest out and intimidating me.

I cannot do anything because of this. And society won't accept me. In mainstream society's eyes a man has to get along with other men. There's no way a man might not like the company of other men, that is unthinkable!

I have a care agency and when I started my care package with them my mother and I both made it clear I needed females and guess what, after a month or two they switched over all my care to males, and what had started off okay for me quickly became for the most part no help at all.

Anyone else in the same boat? And by the way I do like some men. It just so happens most of them are a minority. I generally like men with aspergers, writers, artists, comedians and bohemians like Russell Brand. But the average Man i cannot bear at all.

it's time to stop hanging around chavs.


in general i get along better with women, most of my friends have been females and they're pretty much all older than me. have only met one or two guys that i've really "clicked" with.

many on the spectrum seek understanding and emotional support requiring social/emotional intelligence and sensitivity that's less commonly found in guys.

i think a lot of aspie guys have mannerisms and attitudes that are more compatible with stereotypical female personalities, and less so with testosterone ridden-men, though that's not to say i don't enjoy a lot of "manly" activities.

I do like females better. My doctors and dentists are female. I am definitely not wimpy, but I get aggravated by the "alpha games" that most men play. The competition typically accomplishes nothing except to provide social conflict. It is an poor method to identify "informal leaders" in a group. I avoid some social gatherings because of this.

I agree with what you both said. Women have more emotional sensitivity and men do tend to play alpha or as I would call them macho games to see who the as you said informal leader of a group is.

I'm similar. I can get along with other men, but they're generally artists or intellectuals. I'm enormously annoyed by the macho dominance games most run-of-the-mill males try to play--and I'm not the submissive type, so that usually leads to a clash. A lot of women annoy me too--I've no patience with girly-girls--but I can get along with a larger percentage of them, even without shared interests.

Last edited by Benjamin the Donkey on 14 Mar 2018, 9:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

I have male friends who feel that way and my dad is the same too. I don't know if this is coincidental, my friend says not, but he gets on really well with gay men.

Are all of these men from your area or have you tried dealing with ones who are from elsewhere in the country or from entirely different countries and cultures? Maybe you'd have an easier time with dealing with men from some other culture... are you from a big city that has population from different places? Or just a small town?

This guy is my complete opposite. The last thing I want to do is hang out with artsy guys and women. I suggest moving to San Francisco.

I am similar and I imagine those kinds of men will make up the majority of men in the care industry with it being low wage.

You might well be onto something. I don't know if I'd go as far as to say I get along better with women than men, but I do crave emotional support a lot, which is something I find in other men depressingly rarely. Pretty much the only exception I can think of is my BFF.

I have zero interest in talking to women unless I'm attracted to them. I just sat on a plane for 6 hours next to 2 women my age and didn't say a word to them. Thank god I remembered my headphones. Otherwise I would've got stuck listening to them talk about yoga, dogs, candy, day time tv, etc, etc....

I have nothing in common with anyone but at least women don't try to talk to me about football (soccer).

Last edited by Daniel89 on 14 Mar 2018, 12:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I used to have a similar view, except I didn't actually make any female friends, and my ideas were very blurry about what either that or romantic relationships were, due in no small part to my lack of formal permission from my parents to seek or establish the latter. What I was totally oblivious to is the profound meaning of masculinity, so it's little wonder noöne respected me.

My theory so far -- So female friendships are easier to manage and more pleasant. No s**t, Sherlock! That's exactly why you shouldn't care very much for them. They're not challenging because women don't have to compete with you for their place in the pecking order, and are too busy keeping one another in check anyway. It's among men where you have to prove yourself as a man to earn any respect, and this involves having your share of sand kicked in your face. Only through shared hardships will you attain true belonging and brotherhood, all the while remembering your place in the male pecking order. I know, I know, you can share perilous and scarring experiences that force you all to mature with women, too, but the deep, ageless part of our brain where these collective emotions reside doesn't work that way, because it evolved through millions of years of strictly sex- (and therefore gender-, since you didn't get to choose the latter; it was chosen for you from the former) segregated labor. You can, of course, rationally override this animalistic constraint, but it'll do you little good among most people, because they can't be assed to do the same. In fact, they'll take pride in not doing it, because this way they are politically incorrect, which is the cool thing to be, not a lame feminist wanting gender equality.

I took the trouble to add the "so far" remark because I'm used to people assuming I want any theory of mine to be taken as gospel and I'm stupidly unwilling to learn. The opposite is true: I know I'm very ignorant and this is what little I have so far, looking to learn more, which necessarily involves changing my views.

They way you perceive the people around you (friends, co-workers and aquaintances, enemies, etc) is partly a reflection of your own nature and personality, gender and such. Maybe men don't like you(?) and react badly to you, perhaps without being conciously aware of it.

My take on the world: I don't get along very well with women, and I find most average, reasonable men to be authoritative, calm and reassuring when dealing with me.

The world's take on me: Women find me frightening and abrasive and annoying. Men tend to stay calm when dealing with me, perhaps as they are generally more confident, especially when dealing with crazy young women like me. I suppose women are (generally) more like prey-animals, alert and vigilant with more to fear than most men. Men don't usually find me scary as they are bigger and more confident by nature.

Yes, some men are total w*nkers, but I wouldn't tar them all with the same brush.

Humans are just animals in clothing. men do a lot of jostling for position in the pack by acting macho, alpha, showing off and intimidating the others. I think it comes naturally to many men, maybe most men, it's instinctive, whereas these mannerisms don't appear so much in groups of women.

I grew up in a very small town a long way away from here and now live in a town of 90,000 people. Though this town isn't that large it has year round tourists visiting because it's a seaside resort. Where I live is fairly average.

I think my issue with men seems universal. I have had this issue all over the UK. I could possibly find men from another culture easier to deal with, I'm not sure about that.