meltdown for no reason

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i hate this.

so just 2 hours ago. i randomly had a meltdown, like a level 7 meltdown. i broke a mug, my sink stopper and i hurt my hand.

i guess i sorta saw this coming. i have been having a hard time reading, getting angry at customers and having a hard time with sensory at work and at home.

i told my boss and im not going to work tomorrow and she told my aunt and now people are worried im suicidal. wich is resonable because i have been in the past. im just afraid that this is the start of a full burnout.

i dont want to stop working. i want things to stay the same.

my hand hurts.

Oh man. That's a bummer!

Does your boss know you have autism? He/she sounds like he/she might be understanding of it.

What sort of thoughts did you have during the meltdown?

I hope you are able to go to work soon.

You really seemed happy there.

You wrote about your happiness here.

I think when you are working, you are working significantly harder than your peers at work. Really, in order to function at work, your adrenaline is pumping to keep your brain active in order to interact with customers and your peers. All of that stress and sensory information accumulates until you have a meltdown.

I think this is a cycle a lot of us struggle with. Right now I've been doing very good at work, and have an offer from a family member to basically inherit some stuff work money, but I'm feeling tired and fighting a bit of depression. I think my autistic brain is just tired.

What do you do on your days off? Do you really push yourself on your days off to interact with people, etc?

Hugz. I've been through that plenty of times, and often end up hurting my hand smashing something against something else. I even have a v shaped scar on the webbing between my middle and ring finger from it.

There are reasons just that you do not know what they are. Autistic meltdowns are often caused by a buildup of a lot of different things. These things are often seeminly routine things that are more difficult for us. When you hit your limit all it takes is one tiny imperceptible thing to set you off.

I'm sorry that happened to you. I hope you're feeling better.

Don't be upset at yourself for this ZB. There is always a reason for every meltdown. We might not always be aware of the reason but there is a reason. I have had the same thing happen and it was only weeks later that I was able to understand what caused the meltdown.

If you feel like you are approaching full burnout, see if you can be allowed a few days off of work to put yourself in an environment where you can reduce as much stimuli and stress, especially emotional stress, as possible and and rest as much as you can until you recover. This is so important.

A couple of years ago I had a full burnout that could have potentially actually killed me and that left me permanently changed and not for the better. Take really good care of yourself. You deserve that.