When is it okay to send PMs and to whom?

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I've been wondering for a while now when it's okay to send a private message to someone... I mean the simple answer is "when I want and who I want to since it's been made possible", but I wonder if that's really the case, especially on a forum like this. I can't help but wonder if people would get uncomfortable/anxious/something for suddenly receiving a private message, especially if it was from someone they haven't really talked to that much on the forum... so how should I go about it when I want to send a message? Just send one and see how people react? Or should I ask for permission in some topic the person and I are both reading before I send a message?

Normally I wouldn't think about it so much, I'd just act and see what happens, but with how easily some people on the spectrum apparently get anxious and in some cases offended I honestly don't know how I am supposed to act. What's the social rule regarding private messages here?

I think it would make sense to introduce yourself, add brief details of what subject you want to discuss and why.

It does not need any more elaboration than that, see what happens.

(Feel free to ignore this, I very rarely send a PM.)

Just ask the person within a thread.

You can send one to me, if you feel a desire to.

I very rarely send PMs on forums. The only times I do are when the subject at hand entails matters that don't exactly allow public discussion. For instance, I wouldn't give my address out publicly if someone I met over the Internet wanted to meet me in person.

That said, I believe in the notion that it's absolutely okay to send anyone a PM at any time. But then again, you do want to consider certain factors when it comes to sending PMs, the most important one being the circumstances whereunder the PM is being sent. Was it requested by the other party or do you simply wish to share something in private? Is it solicited, if you will?

If someone doesn't want to get a PM they should have that feature turned off. Or at least say so in their signature.

I say yes, the feature is available, so you're free to use it. If someone doesn't like it they can specify "No PMs" in their signature, or they can just ignore you (or mark you as a "foe" which I think blocks PMs). A first PM should be pretty short and innocuous -- a five-paragraph essay with multiple interrogatories is not likely to be well received by anybody. If someone is going to get bent out of shape because they get a random PM (or because they sent a random PM and it was ignored) they should probably reconsider their participation in semi-public forums like this one, where things like that happen.

I enjoy getting them. It's oh cool a PM!

You may send me one if you would like to practice to feel comfortable with it. I would love to get a pm from you.

I enjoy getting PMs. It's been a while though

I was mostly thinking about how there are some people here who seem like they could be interesting to talk with about certain subjects, but I'd rather use PM so that no one else could push the conversation off the rail or, more importantly, claim that I meant something in an X or Y way when I only meant what I said. I have to deal with people putting words in my mouth enough in real life, so I'd rather avoid that in the internet. If the conversation is one on one with PMs then if the other one misunderstands something I say I can just explain what I meant without worrying about someone else making things harder for me by making false assumptions and accusations about what I said. Of course, the same works the other way around since I sometimes misunderstand stuff too.

Is that a fossil fern in your avatar, Fern?

I rarely do PMs. I have upset some members here before by not replying to their PMs. But I come on here more for thread discussions, not one-to-one private messages. That's more of a text, messenger or email thing. But many people take it personally if you don't wish to chat in PMs. So if a regular member doesn't reply to your PMs, don't take it personally or make them feel guilty. Just find a member who doesn't mind PMing.

I have PM'd a few members but it's usually to say sorry

I think it's fine to send anyone a PM, they are not obligated to read it or answer. Unless they say they don't want to talk to you or they have in their PM they don't do PMs. I interpret that as they will not have any conversations in PM so that means they will not respond if you send them one or possibly not read it.

I think it's fine to PM, as long as you're not spamming people. I've had very few spam messages here, though.

Hardly anybody PMs me, actually.

I would say I've gotten PMs from maybe 100 different people since I started posting here four years ago.