Do you have persona(s)? I don't. I act always the same. bad?

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I'm just wondering, whether there are people around (autistic or not) who actually don't have "personas" or "masks". like AT ALL.
I think I am such a person. Very very much to my disadvantage. I mean, I behave almost always the same. I talk to doctors the way I talk to my younger sister and say the same stuff. I mean, I'm the same person in both situations. no? Or I talk to my grandma in the same way I talk to my father (or the doctors, or the social worker). Or talk to possible dates like I would talk to my (meanwhiles nonexistent) male friends. I'm always the same person, unless I go mute or shy. Other than that, I'm 100& the same person all the time. To EVERYONE (That is, if I actually decide to interact / communicate with them)

This behavior has cause my life to go down the hill and also one really big problem. Docs have diagnosed me with various kinds of psychosis and schizophrenia in the past, and I believe this is actually my fault because I talk to them as if they were my best friends or whatever, and I'm very creative and associative, while they are used to patients who won't tell them anything at all unless the symptoms get REALLY REALLY BAD.

Everyone (Gurus, life couches, spirituals) is talking about not having masks and such. I don't think they at all know wtf they are talking about. Yeah dear guru. got rid of your masks and put on a GURU MASK instead on huh? I'm the real deal. and this is not fun. AT ALL.

Can anyone relate? or give me some advice? (or cyberhugs LÖL) or name me some literature about stuff like this? I know C.G. Jung might know about this but I'm kind of lost.

Anyone?

Just to make it a little bit clearer, I have observed people behaving, talking, etc. very differently to different people.
I can totally tell which one of out relatives my mom is talking to on the phone, just by over hearing her intonation and inflection of her voice.
Or I had this friend, who would totally act like a completely smarmy douce whenever I was around him at the same time with his girlfriend. It was really weird to see how he changed his behavior 180°, just because his girlfriend was around. And when his girlfriend was removed from the situation, he turned "normal" again.

I assume that this kind of "acting" or "personas" is a thing among people in general. But I seem to be completely unable to understand or act so. And I also do not want to be like that (like that matters LOL I mean I couldn't if I tried so the second part of my sentence is just BS). And also, it's beyond me why they would do that. It makes no sense to me. e.g. why would my friend be different when his girlfriend is around? doesn't he want her girlfriend to know who he really is?! WTF?

I'm having a pretty hard time even to define my one and only personality. Building new ones is just beyond the scope of my abilities. And honestly, I just don't get the whole thing or its supposed perpuse.

please give me some input on this. It's right now totally a "thing" for me and is messing with my mind.

Personas in autistics is an interesting topic. The answer isn’t simple, which may be why folks are slow to respond. Pretty much every NT I’ve known has a social façade – a persona that includes semi-fixed aspects of personality like sense of humor, cynical/optimistic/suave/distant/bombastic/etc. attitude – that they consistently present and hide their reactions behind. From what I’ve read from other people with ASD and from my own experiences we have a different experience of self than NTs do. I have a weak sense of self and tend to forget myself when I’m focusing on a task, including social interaction. It takes so much of my attention to interact and I’m often so nearly overwhelmed with processing spoken language, tone of voice, body language, facial expressions, etc. that I really don’t have much capacity left over to present a persona. I’ve been aware of that since high school – most people have a social role that they fit into, like protector, rebel, conflict resolver, comedian, social butterfly, jock, etc. and I lacked this. It was like I was all bare exposed wires without the insulation others have – I didn’t fit into a social role and my answers to questions were literal, rather than being part of a social dance so to speak. And I was incredibly self-conscious, rather than self-aware. So I didn’t tend to socially bond. On the other hand I’m good at listening to people sharing deep experiences and feelings because I’m not holding up a façade to the other person – but this can also be emotionally exhausting for just that reason.

Largely due to my autism I do tend to emulate the behavior of those I’m around – so like in your example, my behavior and speech is setting-dependent. If I’m out bowling with a team, I’ll converse about the sorts of things they’re talking about, I’ll get my bowling ball out when they do, I’ll laugh at a joke when they do, be focused on the game when they are. If I’m in a more serious social setting, I’ll whisper when others do, if one person is speaking and all others are listening attentively, I’ll listen quietly too. I’ll try to follow the parameters of discussion in a social setting (e.g. people talking all over each other and jokingly “ribbing” each other versus more orderly sequential speaking). If I’m at dinner with a group, I’ll follow along with the changing mood of the group, order food when they do, eat at the same pace as they do. I emulate others/ behavior and mood to better participate and so as not to offend folks (like laughing at a funeral or being somber at a gathering of joking friends). And it’s also a way to learn and practice social behavior. So I don’t have the social façade or persona of NTs which acts like a protective shell for their ego, but at the same time I tend to speak, act and display a similar mood to those I’m around. That’s why the question is a bit complex. I lack the “seeing myself in others’ eyes” awareness that NTs derive from their mirror neuron network and so a safe strategy is to loosely imitate them (but not so closely that it seems like mocking them). I can – and have – made a jerk or a clown of myself before because I have a hard time reading people to know if I’m boring them or starting to get on their nerves because I’m talking too long on my favorite subject or because my choice of a joke was a dud…

I have at least five very distinct and established personas. Each also it's own set of memories. One of my best friends who is also Autistic and male has at least 4 also as distinct and developed as mine. This is not an uncommon thing in Autism. And each of my personas has a unique relationship with each of his. Everyone on the planet has personas whether Autistic or not. It's just that in Autism our personas tend to be much more evolved and distinct from each other. They each play a very important role and they work together to keep us psychologically intact.

When I'm around people I tend to act like them, when I'm not with my parents I'll become a completely different person, if I'm with my older sister and her family I act like someone who can do anything and has their own life because I have no friends at all.
And sometimes I don't know who I am anymore when I act like that.