Dismissed after 4 days.

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This time I was dismissed after being accused of "harassment" by female colleagues. Surely this is not true, and I am outraged. I simply looked at people for one moment and got back to work. Is this "harassment"? If people felt so bad with it, why no one gave me a clue? Nobody told me anything, I thought I wasn't even noticed by people, and I never even invited anyone to have a coffee with me. Only mature colleagues seemed to have no complaints on this.

This is just to clarify. Anything that moves or make sounds around me immediately catches my attention, and this became an habit especially after I was chased and threatened during 5 years by a psycho man - everything around me could be him trying to do anything, which in fact he tried, and once I managed to escape in a fraction of a second.

Being rejected since childhood is usual for me. Only the excuses vary, but rejection (sometimes aggressive) is usual - I myself was harassed in many places and ages, from laughs and gossips to physical violence, but perpetrators were never harmed or even warned, while I was always dismissed, shunned and targeted by evil comments. Whenever I tried to talk about it, reactions were usually of disapprovement, like if I was playing victim and overreacting. Nowadays I avoid human contact most of the time and I prefer talking to few people such as my therapist (and she has an impressive patience).

And of course these people who just dismissed me will never want to see me again - no second chance, no dialogue, no attempts to settle things down, no other projects. Some people around the story gave me some words, some support, but I am pretty sure we'll never see each other.

Sure I will never be accepted as I am. This is among the very few things I take for granted in my life. I try to get used to it, to no avail.

I will prefer remote jobs from now on. Working from home is preferrable to me since I will have a "buffer zone" to avoid human contact. My attempts to go unnoticed among people were useless. I will have neither spouse nor children, because no one can get along with me. I endure a strange situation - I have to avoid and ignore the very few friends I have, communicate with them via web, so I can keep their friendship.

And I cannot forget: no complaints, zero, about the quality of my work.

I guess I would seek remote jobs. And I hope you get one soon.

What is your specialty/special interest?

I need help!! I struggle to survive on my own. Please notice I have living parents but I don't want to depend on their money and take the free time they enjoy after retirement.

I am Oracle software developer with lots of professional experience and two postgraduate studies. Are you interested in my resume, or do you have contacts with Oracle professionals?

Also, does my story make any sense to you when related to ASD?

Thanks for your interest.

I’m just a data entry clerk myself; I wish I could get jobs for everybody here—but I don’t have the power to do so.

I guess what you experienced could make sense from an ASD standpoint—I wish I could have been there to determine whether “harassment” actually took place. I actually doubt that it did. Was that the only explanation as to why they terminated you?

I think the “remote” approach might work best for you. In your field, it’s much more prevalent than my field.

Or maybe try to get a civil service position. I’m weird—but I’ve managed to stay at my job 37 years.

Yes, "harassment" was their only "explanation". But actually no "harassment" really happened; women simply overreacted to my presence, their excuse was that I was looking too much at them (which is exaggerated), and the consulting company which hired me to work at their client immediately dismissed me. Of course all my explanations were ignored and turned down, I'm used to this scenario. I told them I never harassed anyone, claims were absurd, but to no avail.

To illustrate this, in all occasions I had lunch with the team, I was invited and called by them, even by women, because people were leaving the room and I was unresponsive. (Actually I prefer lunching alone.)

And, as I stated before, only mature women had no problem with me and my behavior, even though I look at everyone in the same way. Now I consider not to look at anyone else, even knowing how strange it seems to be.

I usually feel surprised whenever I complete 1 year working at the same place, because I'm used to be dismissed after some months, weeks or even days. Once I spent almost 3 years, and I was called back later by the same company, but this was simply out of the normal curve.

Wish I can find a tech company where I could work remotely and avoid human contact as much as possible. I cannot stand being rejected any longer.

Did the company know that you're on the autism spectrum?

Because it sounds to me like you're having trouble because of people not understanding your autism and how that affects your behaviour. If the company knew, they should have made allowances for that, instead of jumping to conclusions over your motives. And be aware, even when people know you have autism, that doesn't necessarily mean they know what it means, or how it manifests.

I don't want to encourage you to do remote work because human contact is important for all of us. Sounds like you've been having similar problems for years and need a bit of assistance in recognising how your behaviour is coming across to others and working out alternatives. And it might be worth working on better communication with future colleagues to show them that your intentions are good, you just have a social disability. Your therapist might have some ideas.

Wishing you luck

That’s true about human contact. People do need it; otherwise, unrealistic views of the world and of people develop.

He’s kept a job three years—and that company called him back—so it can be done.

If he works remotely, he can fulfill his human contact needs at his leisure—by joining clubs pertaining to his special interests, where he can make friends.

It would make sense, to me, to consider the civil service.

The company knew about my ASD since the beginning, when I had to sign a document asking me about health issues and I preferred not to lie. But it looks like they took no further attitude to understand what my diagnosis really means.

There were no other questions on the topic, surely the client knew nothing about my ASD, and I was about to discreetly release this information to some other colleagues when I was suddenly dismissed. Back to the consulting company, I was treated in a rude voice tone when I was told of my dismissal, and none of my responses was considered. Anyhow I am not surprised, neither about the sudden dismissal, nor about the rude treatment, because my entire life had both - and my testimonial simply has no value in such moments.

In an ideal world, sure I wouldn't prefer remote jobs. But my experience as ASD forces me to isolate in order to survive, avoid my few friends to keep them.

I already took a pill for headache but my head still hurts.

Thanks for your kind words.

My ex would attack anyone who accidentally reminded her of a previous abuser, and it didn't take much. Workplaces are full of hidden politics, as people vie for jobs, and form cliques.

That sucks so bad, I'm sorry.

Maybe you should next explain them what does ASD mean and explain them your problems with eye contact. A lot of people know nothing about ASD.

I do similar job. I had one job offer, our supplier would employ me. This is consulting company and they send their employees to others companies(customers) on projects. I was on job interview, tried tell them I struggle with communication and I can't be with customer alone. They answered all people struggle with communication. This was main reason why I rejected this offer. I think I can't work in consulting companies because external customers can't understand my problems. I work in company where my customers are too employees of my employer. My boss got used to over time and our users and colleagues too. You can try find company where your customers will be too employees of the same company.

The Risky Road to Adult Sexuality: Know the Unanticipated Dangers

At support group meetings I have attended the issue of men unintentionally coming off as creeps was a constant topic of discussion brought up by participants. And this was several years before #MeToo made people much more sensitive and suspicious.

MeToo meets handicap rights. I bet we loose. We are at the mercy of both liars and petty socialites.