Why do people worry about turning 30 ?

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chris1989
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02 Jan 2020, 1:50 pm

I seem to think it used to be turning 40 people dread, and I can't quite understand why it seems to be 30 people start dreading as though its middle age already even at 35. That's why I wasn't looking forward to it and whenever I hear of other people talking about it and experiencing it, it gets me down as well. It must be stemmed from the fact that it used to be during the twenties: you leave education at uni and graduate in your early twenties (22-23), be at the height of a career in a job that your degree from uni got, meet someone and date them for a while in the mid twenties (24-26) and then by the late twenties (27-29) you have a house with that person and marry them and start a family and so those are the things people must expect to be doing during those times before 30 and if you are one of those people like me, who hasn't gone down that route, you get to 30 still not having done those things and then start questioning where you are in life and that to go and do the things you should have done in your twenties at 30 is perceived as too late to them.



Fnord
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02 Jan 2020, 1:58 pm

Because, to many people, 30 is the beginning of real adulthood.  It is the age when most people seem to think that you should have your life in order: i.e., gainfully employed, married, having children, living in a house or apartment (away from your parents) et cetera.  It is an artificial, yet perfectly valid milestone for many people.

I mean, the prevailing notion is that if you are unemployed/under employed, single, childless, and still living with your parents at the age of 30, the either you cannot or you will not grow up and take responsibility for yourself.


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kraftiekortie
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02 Jan 2020, 2:05 pm

Here in the US, you do have plenty of even "regular folks" with not "everything" together. They may, nor may not, have had "everything together" before---but they might have lost their job, or gotten divorced.

When I was 30, I had my own apartment and a job. But I didn't have my drivers license, nor was I married. I had only a high school education.



kraftiekortie
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02 Jan 2020, 2:16 pm

How come you don't believe what I say, Chris?

I've been through life. I've been through what you've been through, to some extent.

I'm not saying you have to "listen." But it's important to learn about other peoples' experiences.



chris1989
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02 Jan 2020, 2:37 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
How come you don't believe what I say, Chris?

I've been through life. I've been through what you've been through, to some extent.

I'm not saying you have to "listen." But it's important to learn about other peoples' experiences.


Well I do understand where other people have been through life and taken of account of some people's experiences. I'm writing these threads to listen to other people's responses, I don't write them in order to not listen to people.



kraftiekortie
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02 Jan 2020, 2:39 pm

That makes sense, Chris.

Thank you.



chris1989
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02 Jan 2020, 2:57 pm

Fnord wrote:
Because, to many people, 30 is the beginning of real adulthood.  It is the age when most people seem to think that you should have your life in order: i.e., gainfully employed, married, having children, living in a house or apartment (away from your parents) et cetera.  It is an artificial, yet perfectly valid milestone for many people.

I mean, the prevailing notion is that if you are unemployed/under employed, single, childless, and still living with your parents at the age of 30, the either you cannot or you will not grow up and take responsibility for yourself.


I remember finding out those young adults with aspergers are behind their neurotypical peers by at least three years, and I think maybe that it is in some ways true so I must be like a 27 year old in a 30 year old body because I have now four years of experience of paid work which may be should have been at age of 27 when at the time I had only been in a paid job for a year. Should I still grow up and take responsibility when I have been working 3 and half years and am still single, still childless and living with my mum and her partner because where they live in the area where I work ? I can afford a flat or somewhere but the rent can still be rather expensive as I would have to keep paying the landlord for a lot of money probably every week or more and then may not always be able to afford anything I want or enjoy.



revlar
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02 Jan 2020, 4:16 pm

I think it might have to do with the 30s are no longer about doing things for yourself. In your 20s, you're finishing college for a major you're interested in and suits you, looking for a job you like, looking for a partner you like, finding an apartment/house you like. Then in late 20s and 30s you have a kid, which takes up most of your time. It's no longer about you, and you can't do everything you want because you have huge responsibilities to take care of that get priority.

I'm a year and a half away from turning 30 and I'm welcoming, but I was born old anyway, so my age will finally suit me. But then again, I don't have a house, wife, or kid, so we'll see how I manage those when the time comes.



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02 Jan 2020, 4:47 pm

Most people dread turning 50, because they think it means they're getting old, but 50 isn't old these days.

But I don't really want to be 30 this year. I know that whenever I do anything childlike, people will remind me of my age, even though I was just as adult at 29.
But I think once you get to your 30s you don't really feel much different, because you might as well accept it, as there's nothing you can do about it.
When I was 17 I really didn't want to turn 18, I wanted to be legally a child forever. But looking back 18 seems so young.
So in another 10 years you'll be 40 and you'll probably wish you was just 30. So just don't keep obsessing over your age and enjoy it while you're still young.


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kraftiekortie
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02 Jan 2020, 5:20 pm

I'm 59 today LOL.....I don't necessarily look forward to being 60 in 2021. But that's the way the ball bounces....



AlanMooresBeard
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02 Jan 2020, 6:46 pm

I wasn’t particularly bothered about turning 30. By that point, I had a job at least but I still lived at home with my parents and I was still single. That remains the situation today but I have made progress towards my goal of buying my own home and I hope to get on the property ladder in the next couple of years. I’m a bit apprehensive about turning 40 but that’s still some way off so I’m not really bothered about it at the moment. I just want to make the most of any opportunities that come my way while I’m in my 30s and achieve at least one of the goals that I’ve set for myself in the decade ahead.



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02 Jan 2020, 8:41 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I'm 59 today LOL.....I don't necessarily look forward to being 60 in 2021. But that's the way the ball bounces....

Happy birthday



kraftiekortie
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02 Jan 2020, 9:01 pm

Thanks.



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02 Jan 2020, 9:08 pm

I didn’t like turning 30.

I think it’s because I felt like I didn’t properly enjoy my teens or 20’s and that life was just passing me by without actually living it as one is apparently supposed to during one’s youth.

The good news is that I’m finding my 30’s much better than the two previous decades.



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03 Jan 2020, 1:18 am

I thought I would be doing these things when I turned 30:

1) Working in a cool career after graduating college at 22.

2) “Jamming” with friends.

3) Enjoying life with a lovely wife and children.

However, this has been my life since I was 17:

1) Working a dead end, dull, and thankless job where I am surrounded by bitter and hostile middle aged women.

2) I am socially isolated and there is no indication of things ever changing for me.

3) I still can’t even get a f*****g coffee date and I have been told any potential children would suffer from “damaged sperm”.

Twilightprincess wrote:
I didn’t like turning 30.

I think it’s because I felt like I didn’t properly enjoy my teens or 20’s and that life was just passing me by without actually living it as one is apparently supposed to during one’s youth.

The good news is that I’m finding my 30’s much better than the two previous decades.


But yet when I say I feel like what should’ve been my best years are behind me, you disagree with me.