Siblings pressuring me to go to a redneck college

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Marknis
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02 Jan 2020, 2:24 pm

Both of my siblings lately have been pressuring me to attend A&M through their ACHIEVE program. They think it is the answer for my struggles. But I don’t want to go to A&M. It is a redneck college and my father as well as my grandfather have attended it so I don’t want them thinking I have become like them. Instead of Austin, they want me to go to a place that worships Trump, football, and country music. There would also be a Jesus fan club there so it’s already a foregone conclusion I wouldn’t fit in socially.



TimS1980
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02 Jan 2020, 3:23 pm

That sounds almost perfectly horrible.

I googled that achieve program and it sounds like special ed for college - useful for some people's circumstances but perhaps not for all.

The notion that you should go there seems like it's just begging to be blown wide open. Your feeling that this would not be a good fit must not be invalidated, especially by those who consider themselves allies, because it could be a valuable signpost. Instead it should be investigated.

If you get all the understanding and accommodation you could want from your family, your side of the deal is to push yourself into new areas of achievement.

If your family investigates this option further, your priorities should be:
Do the program administrators really understand the experience of someone on the spectrum? Are their understanding and methods of the sort of which an autistic neurodiversity advocate would approve?
Would you have a chance to find your people there, even if the folks next door are living like jocks?

Grab and read the passion paradox by Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness.
It'll arm you to make a good choice, and to frame it in arguments so clear that your relatives would have to be assholes of a high order to try and overrule you (plus, they can't. It's your life).

Do you have access to an experienced and clear-thinking autistic / neurodiversity advocate or mentor? You could use some help. Go through ASAN and try to hook up with a local group, and try to find such a person.

Good luck.


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Twilightprincess
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02 Jan 2020, 4:21 pm

Is it an accredited program?

A degree is better than no degree.

There’s no reason why you should go to a college you don’t want to. You should possibly put this on hold until you can properly treat your depression.



kraftiekortie
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02 Jan 2020, 4:48 pm

Do they have ACHIEVE at other colleges?



redrobin62
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02 Jan 2020, 4:57 pm

Although A&M is like the Texas version of the Vatican, here are some interesting clubs I found there:
1. Aggie Society for Anime & Manga Art
2. Aggies On the Spectrum
3. Cepheid Variable - sci-fi, fantasy, horror, science & technology organization
4. Texas A&M Secular Students Alliance (agnostics and atheists)
5. COMICS - an organization about the effects of comics on pop culture
6. Creative Writing Techniques Club
7. Writer's Ring
8. The Inkling Society - writers' social group (game night, movie screenings, socials, etc).
Not saying you're gay. Just pointing out that, at least, the university is good enough to allow the following groups:
9. GLBT Resource Center
10. LGBTQ Aggies
11. Transcend (transgender)



kraftiekortie
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02 Jan 2020, 5:02 pm

Texas A & M was originally an agricultural college----but it expanded far from that origin.

Sounds like maybe it has some good stuff in it.



SharonB
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02 Jan 2020, 6:01 pm

You say "Thank you for your suggestion" or "no, thank you" or (teasing?) "shove off". I know, I know, I feel compelled to seriously consider every suggestion and discuss with people... I'm told we don't have to do that. We can just nod our heads and push the mental trash lever. So I'm told.



Twilightprincess
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02 Jan 2020, 8:51 pm

I briefly went to what could be considered a redneck college before transferring. It was formerly a community college that focused heavily on vocational trades.

I had some really great instructors which made it a great experience. My political beliefs tended to be a lot different from those around me which was okay. I’ve never been much of a social butterfly, anyway, and didn’t make close friends in my liberal arts college, either. I didn’t exactly try. I was there to learn.

Education is largely what you make of it. It’s a good idea to focus on one’s studies and not the white noise that can accompany a college experience.

Regardless of the politics, college can be a lot like high school. I found it occasionally amusing/silly without getting caught up in it.

I was also a listening ear for those dealing with difficult problems - like the student who had a miscarriage when she was in a car accident, the student with such severe anxiety and stage friight that she fainted on stage, or that student whose homesickness was so severe she dropped out of college and moved back home. Sometimes I wonder where they are now...



AnonymousAnonymous
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02 Jan 2020, 9:00 pm

This is just awful, Brother Marknis!


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Benjamin the Donkey
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03 Jan 2020, 3:29 am

It's one of the world's best universities for engineering. ..but if you don't want to be an engineer, UT-Austin would be much better culturally and maybe academically.

What subject do you actually want to study?


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Marknis
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03 Jan 2020, 11:13 am

Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
It's one of the world's best universities for engineering. ..but if you don't want to be an engineer, UT-Austin would be much better culturally and maybe academically.

What subject do you actually want to study?


I’ve honestly never had a clear idea on what I wanted to study in. I remember my older brother telling me life was basically this: You go to school, then you go to college, then you get a job, and whatever else happens comes next. Majors and degrees never crossed my mind. Heck, I don’t think I even knew what college was supposed to be; I think I just viewed it as a school you go to after high school. At the same time, I had these visualizations I was going to morph into what I thought was the standard adult male: scruffy haired, sports a mustache, wears a baseball hat, and drives a truck. Even before I had the whole “God’s plan” crap shoved down my throat, I had deconstructive thoughts.



AlanMooresBeard
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03 Jan 2020, 12:10 pm

You should put your foot down and tell your family that you don't want to go to A&M. Why spend 3-4 years studying somewhere that you hate while spending thousands of dollars in the process? It would be a waste of both your money and time. Focus on going to Austin as it seems to me that you'd be much happier there than where you currently are.