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HistoryGal
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15 May 2018, 8:33 pm

It's exhausting pretending to be NT but that's what I do on the job....5 days a week.....just pose as an introvert. I don't talk anymore than I have to.

At the end of the day, I don't want to be around anyone. So worn out mentally.

The people I work with KNOW something is different just not able to identify. That's how little these so-called experts know about ASD in adults. I used to be a helluva mess when I was school age. I still am in some ways since all the energy spent acting NT leaves me running low after work.

No desire to be involved in a myriad of community activities. No close friends.



Kinme
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16 May 2018, 3:11 am

It gets lonely and exhausting after awhile. I just stopped wearing the mask as much. People seem okay with it as well, since I'm pretty confident as well.



Muziek
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16 May 2018, 8:35 am

Hello Kinme and HistoryGal,

Yes for me too people in general are always more or less exhausting. :evil: This reminds of a phrase that Christina Aguilera used "energy suckers". :mrgreen: I don't have that problem with animals, trees, or beautiful creations, these can restore your energy and peace of mind. :heart:


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StarTrekker
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16 May 2018, 5:22 pm

I wish I could pass, it would make things so much easier. As it is, I have to be open about my diagnosis to get the accommodations I need, then I feel self-conscious about needing them, and get unpleasant remarks made by co-workers behind my back that get reported to me by my friends. My stress intolerance is such that I have an average of one major meltdown a month, which includes head-banging, self-hitting, hair pulling and running away, and always ends in someone restraining me, which caused one of my friends to get bitten once. It's always fun when the paramedics show up at your office to deal with you because you had another out-of-control behavioural episode. It's happened twice so far, not including the time I was taken to the ER for a concussion.

Serious question HistoryGal, what techniques do you use in order to pass? Maybe I could try them.


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HistoryGal
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16 May 2018, 5:53 pm

Star Trekker, I pose as an introvert. I don't schedule outings on weeknights. I use that time to decompress. Taking the kids out to the gym every morning helps with stims. I can move around a lot.

Bite my tongue when that airhead speech therapist comes around and asks the most ridiculous questions.



ladyelaine
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16 May 2018, 6:14 pm

HistoryGal wrote:
Star Trekker, I pose as an introvert. I don't schedule outings on weeknights. I use that time to decompress. Taking the kids out to the gym every morning helps with stims. I can move around a lot.

Bite my tongue when that airhead speech therapist comes around and asks the most ridiculous questions.


I like to chill at home after work too. I have TV shows just about every night to help me relax and I pet my cats. I prefer cats to humans.



HistoryGal
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16 May 2018, 10:00 pm

Elaine, great idea



xatrix26
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17 May 2018, 6:36 am

Exhausting is right. Trying to pass for NT is like running 10 marathons in a row and then being expected to do that every day at work. I've failed most of the time and once in awhile I simply explode due to the over stress and end up losing my job by getting fired. Or I quit to avoid being fired and since 1993 I've had more than 30 jobs.

I had a heart attack in 2010 when I was only 34 due to Autistic burnout and I will most likely have another one soon for the same reason. My financial situation is extremely poor and I have no choice but to work 6 days a week at 2 different jobs. I feel like I'm living inside a house of cards which will collapse at any moment. The stress from that alone is overwhelming.


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ChefDave
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17 May 2018, 12:42 pm

HistoryGal wrote:
It's exhausting pretending to be NT but that's what I do on the job....5 days a week.....just pose as an introvert. I don't talk anymore than I have to.


After transferring to a rural school three years ago, I told my building administration and the faculty about my autism. This has proven to be really helpful. It's a relief to no longer pretend to be someone I'm not.

For the most part, most of my colleagues leave me alone. They don't seek me out to chat after the students have left. When we have faculty meetings and I choose a table in a corner of the room, they usually don't insist upon sitting with me and engaging me in idle chit-chat before the meeting starts.

I really appreciate this.

HistoryGal wrote:
At the end of the day, I don't want to be around anyone. So worn out mentally.


Yep. Me too. I live in a gated community and I have a door mat that says, "GO AWAY!" When I'm home, my phone is off and I refuse to answer the door unless I'm expecting a visitor. At the end of the week, I do my grocery shopping on the way home from work so I won't have to go anywhere over the weekend.

HistoryGal wrote:
No desire to be involved in a myriad of community activities. No close friends.


Nope. Me neither. I can totally relate to this. Friends (especially NT friends) take a lot of time and emotional energy to develop and to maintain. They're always wanting to come over or to have you come over and they're always wanting to go to this place or that. It's EXHAUSTING and who needs the grief? I have work and I have home and when I'm at home I really just want to be left alone.

Since I'm neurologically predisposed towards being a reclusive introvert, being alone doesn't bother me at all. After transferring jobs to my current location, I made the intentional decision to not make any friends. Although I am friendly with several people at work, I don't do anything with any of them off campus.

My summer vacation begins at the end of next week and I'll be off on paid leave for TWO MONTHS. The only problem is that I've found it's really quite stressful to have to go from an extended period of self imposed isolation to being back at work. This problem seems to have gotten more acute as I've gotten older. (sigh)



Aniihya
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17 May 2018, 12:51 pm

People say that I do give off an autistic vibe but in comparison to many they have met, in a very pleasant way. You dont necessarily have to act NT to get along with NTs. You just need to be considerate of their "quirks" like they normally should be of yours.



skibum
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17 May 2018, 2:42 pm

Aniihya wrote:
People say that I do give off an autistic vibe but in comparison to many they have met, in a very pleasant way. You dont necessarily have to act NT to get along with NTs. You just need to be considerate of their "quirks" like they normally should be of yours.
I agree


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HistoryGal
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17 May 2018, 6:42 pm

In my environment, you can't put out an autistic vibe.



KB8CWB
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17 May 2018, 7:47 pm

[quote="His]ItoryGal"It's exhausting pretending to be NT but that's what I do on the job....5 days a week.....just pose as an introvert. I don't talk anymore than I have to. [/quote]

I did this for years with varying success. Most thought me rather odd and standoffish or even rude. Especially since I never participated in after-work work activities like golfing, bowling, etc.

[quote="His]ItoryGal"At the end of the day, I don't want to be around anyone. So worn out mentally. [/quote]

^This!^ I generally didn't want to be around anyone, needed much time to recover "recharge" as it were.

[quote="His]ItoryGal"The people I work with KNOW something is different just not able to identify.[/quote]

I always suspected I was different. I just assumed I was a severe introvert and not like other people. But then again
I had no idea I was on the spectrum. I didn't find out till much older. Even school was a total mess for me.

[quote="His]ItoryGal"No desire to be involved in a myriad of community activities. No close friends.[/quote]

I have always been this way. Absolutely no friend other than maybe a couple of online friends. I also live in a gated community.
And I am ok with that!