Stimming and the mayor of Sapporo, Japan

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In relation to my involvement with the local Japanese community here in Portland, I attended an event yesterday at the Japanese Gardens. Several dignitaries from both sides of the pond were there and I was able to (briefly) meet Sam Adams, our mayor here in Portland, to (waaaay too briefly) meet Miss Sapporo 2009, and spend a while talking with Fumio Ueda, the mayor of Sapporo, Japan.

Ueda-san was there planting a cherry tree with our mayor at the Garden (you can see it by the waterfall if you go) in commemoration of 50 years of the Portland-Sapporo Sister Cities Association and to promote sustainability and sustainable city planning/building. During the event and subsequent conversation, I had to keep myself in "normal mode" for one of my longest times on record. I think I was able to go as long as I did because I had several translators with me and this helped alleviate the need to maintain social norms; I could be sure everything was being conveyed to him in the "proper" way befitting his station and age.

But something very odd happened to me when I got home. In spite of being utterly exhausted, I was pacing around and couldn't relax. I suddenly felt a need to shake my hands around violently, up in the air at about head level (?). It immediately felt like something was flowing out of me. I sorta want to say like "evil" was being shook off, but it wasn't "evil", it was something else. Something I find myself completely unable to qualify or quantify. So basically I am left with this question of WHAT the hell was THAT?!?

Well? What was it?!? Was that stimming??? And what was that feeling? What was "leaving" or going away from me at that time? I've never done this before.

Are you suspecting that the mayor Sapporo is autistic?

Well, I don't know the politics of that city so I can't comment.

I have always suspected some politicians to have autistic tendencies. For example Gordon Brown, Mugabe, Stalin, the Kim dynasty, all of them, PW Botha, so I am sure that this is a another example.

No.

My brother, the profoundly affected autist, does what we call 'flipping' of his hands around eye level--palms facing, fingers up, and flicking the wrist towards the face--is that what you were doing?

Of course, he's non-verbal, so I don't know if his internal experience mirrors yours, but he seems to do it when he's happy, pleased, OK.

I've felt that jazzy energy after going to a gathering... and that's what I call it, energy. I've got an energy overload and just need to release it. Pacing, working, chores... I just need to give it a chance to move through. That's all. No big deal. My normal.

Just like I've learned to 'surf' many meltdowns by working with the energy, feeling it in the body and watching it, just staying mindful of it. Some of the energy is pretty unpleasant, and I can see why I 'act out', but the social and emotional consequences are too undesirable anymore. So I just sort of give it space and room and be with it.

you've read only the title?

Perhaps by being in "normal mode" you were suppressing something (energy? the desire to stim?) that "built up" and you had to let it out.

Grr, I am not articulating what I am thinking very well at all ... but does that make any sense?

I have the same problem when i am forced to be in a normal, calm mode. When I get home, my body and brain let loose all of that energy to the point that I can not even sleep at all that night. Last week I had to be in normal mode because I had to do CPR training as a requirement for schooling. I was all clam and then I got home and just paced and bounced on my bouncy ball all night and I was up all night long. When I was in school when i was younger and/or at work, I had to hold so much energy that when i came home, all I would do for the whole entire night was bounce, rock, and take long walks because I had too much energy that i could not sit still to do anything. The only way I could get to sleep at night was the first thing I had to do was go for a long walk to at least get me down to a decent level, so I can sit and do homework and/or eat. But then I would do more exercise in order to calm myself down to eat. Then I would listen to my radio,rocking and bouncing, for a couple of hours or more so I can watch T.V. in order to go to sleep. It even takes me an hour after I lay in bed to even fall asleep because, now I am mentally stimulated, instead of physically stimulated. But because of the mental stimulation, I am able to do well in school and that is how I am able to be in normal mode. with me it is either physical or mental stimulation, nothing in between. When I am in school I get over-mentally stimulated(which the teachers love). But because I am not in school, my brain and body shifts to physical stimulation and that is why I am all over-hyperactive. Kind of interesting.

Oh yeah, the loooong late night walks... I'd cover miles and miles, often out til 2 am.

Now I'm older, I don't seem to need them so much. Now when I awake at 3 am, I go meditate. After about an hour, I can usually go back to sleep.

@dougn: Thanks for that feedback. I thought it was very articulate!

@DonkeyBuster: Yes, very very close to that. I was quite terrified at the time because the experience was so intense that I don't clearly remember it. I've since tried to reproduce it and failed. I wonder if it feels the same way for everyone who does it -- a release of sorts. If it occurs during intense happiness too, maybe it isn't so much a relase of nervousness as it is a release of any intense feeling? I'm going to go look this up.

P.S. Oh no! Does this mean I've never been truly happy?!? This never yet happened when I was happy! Not even when I got the GI Joe All Terrain Troubleshooter that REALLY TALKS (back in the 1970's. I was very happy).

VA.... then what you did sounds like a pretty classic form of stimming. It does seem to be some sort of release, and my brother also seemed to enjoy it for its own sake when he was happy.

Sounds like you're like me... I become "more" autistic when I'm stressed. If I've had an exhilerating day (like yours with the mayor) I'll be jazzed when I get home and prone to pacing. I become very odd in my speech, sort of a low-grade Tourette's, I think; just whatever comes into my head comes out my mouth. So I go for walks with the dogs and they don't care that I'm rambling with my speech.

When I'm negatively stressed, I rock and rub my thigh with the palm of my hand.

As I've grown older, it takes more stimulus to provoke the stimming, so I wouldn't worry about it. You pushed a limit, had an interesting time, a little stimming... just relax and keep pushing the envelope. Pick your times, your events, and make sure you have a safe space afterwards to release the energy and re-coop.

Sort of like a top athelete needs a post game cool-out, rub-down and sauna.

I'm curious... is there a visual component to the hand flick?

I know I flap my hands when I'm stressed or excited. (Not when anyone can see me though. I dread anyone walking in and spotting it.) I don't know, it's like a way to blow off steam

Last edited by activebutodd on 11 Jun 2009, 2:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It sounds to me like you absorbed too much... energy, personalities, whatever. And this was literally a way of shaking it off.

I have to say, I have a different view of "stimming." I see stimming as something done to gain good feelings. But if it's something that drains sensory overload, to my mind that's "calming." (If there's "stimming" why would there not be an opposite??)

I have occasionally shaken my hands over my head when hyper-energized. It does feel like whatever the excess is leaves!