Help, Please little guidelines here!

Post Reply New Topic

Hi there, my name is Vivian, I’m a crazy Perfectionist, I have meltdowns every time when something I have breaks or doesn’t look prefect anymore. Tonight I screamed at my 6 years old so hard because I thought he accidentally sat on my IPad, and I had to kept checking afterwards if the IPad still looks the same, I’m like that with almost everything I have, especially things I like and use a lot. I feel so sick, Last week I had a meltdown outside because the zipper on my jacket broke a bit(still works fine and you cannot even see the breaking part) , but it just felt “inperfection” to me, it drove me mad and the feeling was very torturing and overwhelming.

I strongly suspect myself is on the ASD spectrum. I tick almost all the boxes for ADHD(ADD), I suffer from OCD and I’m a very anxious person, worries a lot, hate change in plans. I often have breakdowns when things don’t go my way. I don’t like living with other people except my close relatives who understands me because I can be very controlling of how I want things to be done otherwise I panic. I don’t like gender stereotyping, I’m a 34 years old female but I don’t get most of the things women my age would be interested in, I’m deeply into music, heavy metal, plays few instruments, Iove gaming and sci-fi movie, I have few close friends and they are all male who share the same interests with me. Anyway, I took an online AQ test and scored 32, it suggests me might be on the AUTISM spectrum, plus my son already got diagnosed for HFA( or Asperger in the past), we share many traits, all my family members said he was just like me when I was little but a bit worse in behaviour and more hyperactive than me. But again I doubt because I can make eye contact with people, I actually enjoy social events, I’m an extrovert who talks a lot.
Should I go and see an psychologist? I don’t want people to think I’m crazy, because I know it’s very difficult to spot a high functioning female aspie. Thanks, I appreciate any suggestions.

Ps: my English sucks, I’m Chinese.

Last edited by VivianK on 30 May 2018, 8:32 am, edited 2 times in total.

Why not see a therapist/psychologist/psychotherapist?

Even people who don't have psychological problems see therapists. There's no shame in seeing a therapist. Even therapists see therapists.

Your English is not bad at all.

A diagnosis may give you two main things.

1. Validation for what you suspect

2. Benefits and accommodations should you need them now or later.

Hmm. Do something that is very out of your comfort zone and not like you at all. Then you will find that you can survive more difficult stuff and then won't worry about smaller things anymore and wont have to be perfect anymore because you will realise those things do not matter.

How to make it so your not worried about what others think of you is too go beyond that by doing things more stressful and overcoming it.

Yes. My mother often screamed at me when I broke something (include unimportant and cheap things). Or when one from my siblings upset her she screamed at all. It isn't good for your son if you lose often control.